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BANGKOK 22 April 2019 07:51

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cooked

How to stop/ slow down?

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OP, first you have to ask and answer yourself 1 question.

Why do you need to drink?

Do not answer me, answer yourself.

If you can identify the reason for drinking , you might be able to eliminate the problem.

If the answer is because you enjoy it, then it's much harder .

I would cut out all drinking daytime and only drink in the evening, perhaps start with gym or some other sport to keep your mind off beer.

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OP, first you have to ask and answer yourself 1 question.

Why do you need to drink?

Do not answer me, answer yourself.

If you can identify the reason for drinking , you might be able to eliminate the problem.

If the answer is because you enjoy it, then it's much harder .

I would cut out all drinking daytime and only drink in the evening, perhaps start with gym or some other sport to keep your mind off beer.

I enjoy a beer. I find it much more satisfying a drink than any other. I once found a non- alcoholic beer that I really did like... I started gaining weight and they discontinued it after two years. During the times that I have given up altogether I have drunk the same quantities of water and other drinks, so I am a thirsty person.

I'm not a binge drinker, as night time drinking would doubtless become,

I don't have time to start in a gym or something as I work most days around the farm or building an extension.

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OP, first you have to ask and answer yourself 1 question.

Why do you need to drink?

Do not answer me, answer yourself.

If you can identify the reason for drinking , you might be able to eliminate the problem.

If the answer is because you enjoy it, then it's much harder .

I would cut out all drinking daytime and only drink in the evening, perhaps start with gym or some other sport to keep your mind off beer.

I enjoy a beer. I find it much more satisfying a drink than any other. I once found a non- alcoholic beer that I really did like... I started gaining weight and they discontinued it after two years. During the times that I have given up altogether I have drunk the same quantities of water and other drinks, so I am a thirsty person.

I'm not a binge drinker, as night time drinking would doubtless become,

I don't have time to start in a gym or something as I work most days around the farm or building an extension.

Cooked you are giving excuse after excuse.

This will not solve the problem.

No one will be able to help you, unless you are willing to help yourself.

This is not an attack on you, just an outlook of what you are doing, which is looking for excuses to keep on drinking,

You have come to realize you have a problem, now deal with it, instead of finding excuses how NOT to deal with it.

You do not have time to start gym, but do have time to drink? Well calculate the time it takes to drink, and you may find you will have time to visit gym twice per day.

Good luck, its not going to be easy, but you have to do it, if not for yourself, do it for your wife and kids

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This story has been told many many times.

Poor me, poor me - pour me a drink!

Drink - be unproductive. Who is going to support the family? You?

Mate, get on with it - prove the masses wrong. If you can do it successfully, you will have many devotees.

In summary, you are going to be a famous, wealthy man or DEAD!

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Hi cooked, in your OP you have asked for similar experiences and advice, OK, here we go.

Your present regime, one beer every 90 minutes is doomed to failure as you are clock-watching, waiting for that first drink and setting your objectives only to the high end of not exceeding what you are expecting to drink. You will eventually stress yourself out with this, trust me.

Your main reason for stopping (not slowing down) as you wrote was because you drive a lot with your family in the car and the financial aspects if caught. Unless you do all your driving before you start your drinking this is only an excuse; you will be over the limit by 13:00 every day anyway.

OK, thats about as blunt as it gets, I wouldn't want to give you false hope on something that isn't going to happen with your current frame of mind.

My story, I spent a lifetime drinking, 23 years of a continuing party, and at times drinking as much if not more than you are now. Unlike you however, it was a controlled party, so when we did have to work (mostly armed in the second decade anyway) we were relatively dry, certainly in control of our actions. But the playtime/downtime would certainly make up for that!

When I left that job at the age of forty, I came to Thailand for a six month kickback holiday before going out to work again. 6 months turned into 2 years living in Pattaya. No work, just partying! And what a party that was. Before I had realized I had adopted a regular routine, getting up at about 16:00 every day, getting something to eat and then out again until 5 or 6 o'clock every morning. It all felt normal.

Until one morning I woke up and said to my then girlfriend, now wife, I am going on the wagon for 2 months to clear the system. That was the 1st May 1999.

It didn't stop my routine, I was still out every night, the only difference was that I wasn't drinking beer. I would substitute that foe soda and lemon, coke, lemon and soda, anything except beer. About 10 weeks after I started this one of the mates asked when I was starting to drink again, and when we had worked out that it was longer than originally planned I just said, lets see. I have been dry since, 16 years and counting. My wife and I even ran a bar for 12 years after that and I never once faltered.

But, the important part of the above was that I didn't do it alone. I honestly don't think I could have.

You need someone to confide in, preferably your wife and family if you decide to go down that road. I know you are only asking to slow down, but you also have to be honest with yourself as well; at least you have recognized you have had a problem for the last 30 years.

Thats just my input cooked, if you were looking for sympathy, that is not what you need my friend. Look inside yourself before its too late.

Oh, do yourself a favour and reread the posts from impulse in this thread, there are some seriously helpful points in them.

If you can find them. Seriously cooked, whatever way you go, good luck mate...............wink.png

In addition, I was going to send this to you by PM but I thought maybe my experience could help someone else out there, all the better. It is not often that I show so much of my personal life to forums. Read that as I do care and wish you well.

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OP, first you have to ask and answer yourself 1 question.

Why do you need to drink?

Do not answer me, answer yourself.

If you can identify the reason for drinking , you might be able to eliminate the problem.

If the answer is because you enjoy it, then it's much harder .

I would cut out all drinking daytime and only drink in the evening, perhaps start with gym or some other sport to keep your mind off beer.

I enjoy a beer. I find it much more satisfying a drink than any other. I once found a non- alcoholic beer that I really did like... I started gaining weight and they discontinued it after two years. During the times that I have given up altogether I have drunk the same quantities of water and other drinks, so I am a thirsty person.

I'm not a binge drinker, as night time drinking would doubtless become,

I don't have time to start in a gym or something as I work most days around the farm or building an extension.

Cooked you are giving excuse after excuse.

This will not solve the problem.

No one will be able to help you, unless you are willing to help yourself.

This is not an attack on you, just an outlook of what you are doing, which is looking for excuses to keep on drinking,

You have come to realize you have a problem, now deal with it, instead of finding excuses how NOT to deal with it.

You do not have time to start gym, but do have time to drink? Well calculate the time it takes to drink, and you may find you will have time to visit gym twice per day.

Good luck, its not going to be easy, but you have to do it, if not for yourself, do it for your wife and kids

What is this obsession with gyms with Westerners? I worked hard all my life and although I no longer work 12 hour days at the age of 67 I still work. I sniggered at customers that hired me to do work they could do themselves and then paid even more money to go to the gym. What's the problem with that? I did 6 hours masonry work today, so stuff your suggestion of driving 25 Km into town twice a day, coordinating that with the twice daily trips taking the kid to school. If I wanted to I could slip out into the changing room and have a quick beer there. I am not looking for excuses for continuing drinking I am looking for advice from other people that have tried what I am trying. As I said earlier: no preaching please, I don't need excuses for continuing drinking. I am dealing with it as well I can.

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Please hear me out.I believe you have A drug problem.As you know alcohol is A drug.For 1 you need to want to stop before you

Can actually do so.

My way of thinking something major will have to happen in your life before you actually want to quit.Pawning wedding ring would

Have done it for me.Your addicted.You'll agree with me on that.I don't believe being it is A drug and that your addicted to it you

Will ever be able to consume it in moderation.When you reach the point you need to stop you will probably need to go

Into A 28 day in house program.If you don't want to get intoA disaster you need to talk yourself into the mode you want to stop.

Good luck to ya.

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OP, first you have to ask and answer yourself 1 question.

Why do you need to drink?

Do not answer me, answer yourself.

If you can identify the reason for drinking , you might be able to eliminate the problem.

If the answer is because you enjoy it, then it's much harder .

I would cut out all drinking daytime and only drink in the evening, perhaps start with gym or some other sport to keep your mind off beer.

I enjoy a beer. I find it much more satisfying a drink than any other. I once found a non- alcoholic beer that I really did like... I started gaining weight and they discontinued it after two years. During the times that I have given up altogether I have drunk the same quantities of water and other drinks, so I am a thirsty person.

I'm not a binge drinker, as night time drinking would doubtless become,

I don't have time to start in a gym or something as I work most days around the farm or building an extension.

Cooked you are giving excuse after excuse.

This will not solve the problem.

No one will be able to help you, unless you are willing to help yourself.

This is not an attack on you, just an outlook of what you are doing, which is looking for excuses to keep on drinking,

You have come to realize you have a problem, now deal with it, instead of finding excuses how NOT to deal with it.

You do not have time to start gym, but do have time to drink? Well calculate the time it takes to drink, and you may find you will have time to visit gym twice per day.

Good luck, its not going to be easy, but you have to do it, if not for yourself, do it for your wife and kids

What is this obsession with gyms with Westerners? I worked hard all my life and although I no longer work 12 hour days at the age of 67 I still work. I sniggered at customers that hired me to do work they could do themselves and then paid even more money to go to the gym. What's the problem with that? I did 6 hours masonry work today, so stuff your suggestion of driving 25 Km into town twice a day, coordinating that with the twice daily trips taking the kid to school. If I wanted to I could slip out into the changing room and have a quick beer there. I am not looking for excuses for continuing drinking I am looking for advice from other people that have tried what I am trying. As I said earlier: no preaching please, I don't need excuses for continuing drinking. I am dealing with it as well I can.

Because exercise gets you sweating and gets alcohol out of your body, as well as keeping your mind busy.

Clearly you not looking for advice, but rather for someone to pat you on the back and approve your drinking habits.

Ok, good on you, drink by the hour, because if you drink by the hour instead of one after another it fixes the ALL problems including financial

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Suggestion

Do some intensive research - get serious! Say 1 month - keep an HONEST diary.

Log in. Give us the gory details.

"Winners are grinners".

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Ultimately it comes down to:

IF you are an alcoholic, I think it is probably better to stop drinking altogether.

IF you just drink too much, I think that slowing down is probably better.

But how to tell? The fact that the OP called himself an alcoholic means as little as the OP denying to be an alcoholic.

And on what grounds can WE tell him what he is?

Does anyone have suggestions on how to tell the difference?

I would suggest it is not about amounts of alcohol consumed. But rather: does the drinking seriously harm the person's social life? Becoming violent, drunk driving, loosing social contacts, neglecting work,...

My advise would be: definitely ask and accept the help of your wife - and look for a good friend or specialist to give you even more support.

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Suggestion

Do some intensive research - get serious! Say 1 month - keep an HONEST diary.

Log in. Give us the gory details.

"Winners are grinners".

Not a bad idea.

After all this is the age of social media, why not use them like we use family.

Keep an honest diary and post it - hey that could maybe replace AA gatherings?

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Did you actually read my post? Have you ever laid bricks/made cement mortar, hauled material around a building site, ever? Masonry isn't hard exercise? It's better than driving to town 4 times a day as you suggest. I am not looking for your approval, not for suggestions about how I sweat. I knew that I would get some holier than thou guys answering but when they just ignore what I have written then it gets annoying. I don't have time to go to the stupid gym because I AM WORKING HARD AND GETTING A SWEAT UP HERE AT HOME! Get it? I don't want to drive 200Km a day losing time on my building project. Your repeated attempts to get me to the gym are ridiculous, you seem to think this is the solution to everything. Furthermore I am not in denial about anything


What is this obsession with gyms with Westerners? I worked hard all my life and although I no longer work 12 hour days at the age of 67 I still work. I sniggered at customers that hired me to do work they could do themselves and then paid even more money to go to the gym. What's the problem with that? I did 6 hours masonry work today, so stuff your suggestion of driving 25 Km into town twice a day, coordinating that with the twice daily trips taking the kid to school. If I wanted to I could slip out into the changing room and have a quick beer there. I am not looking for excuses for continuing drinking I am looking for advice from other people that have tried what I am trying. As I said earlier: no preaching please, I don't need excuses for continuing drinking. I am dealing with it as well I can.



Cooked you are giving excuse after excuse.

This will not solve the problem.

No one will be able to help you, unless you are willing to help yourself.

This is not an attack on you, just an outlook of what you are doing, which is looking for excuses to keep on drinking,

You have come to realize you have a problem, now deal with it, instead of finding excuses how NOT to deal with it.

You do not have time to start gym, but do have time to drink? Well calculate the time it takes to drink, and you may find you will have time to visit gym twice per day.

Good luck, its not going to be easy, but you have to do it, if not for yourself, do it for your wife and kids

Because exercise gets you sweating and gets alcohol out of your body, as well as keeping your mind busy.

Clearly you not looking for advice, but rather for someone to pat you on the back and approve your drinking habits.

Ok, good on you, drink by the hour, because if you drink by the hour instead of one after another it fixes the ALL problems including financial

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If I understand correctly, the AA and similar groups (not only alcohol related) use the "buddy" method.

You share your problems with people with similar problems.

You find support in the compassion, understanding and encouragement of others with similar problems.

Would it be technically possible to do the same thing electronically - on a subforum perhaps?

Any suggestions?

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Did you actually read my post? Have you ever laid bricks/made cement mortar, hauled material around a building site, ever? Masonry isn't hard exercise? It's better than driving to town 4 times a day as you suggest. I am not looking for your approval, not for suggestions about how I sweat. I knew that I would get some holier than thou guys answering but when they just ignore what I have written then it gets annoying. I don't have time to go to the stupid gym because I AM WORKING HARD AND GETTING A SWEAT UP HERE AT HOME! Get it? I don't want to drive 200Km a day losing time on my building project. Your repeated attempts to get me to the gym are ridiculous, you seem to think this is the solution to everything. Furthermore I am not in denial about anything

As i said, keep on drinking, just time it and it will solve all problems.

All that work must be paying off well, when wife pawns wedding ringthumbsup.gif

No mate, i never worked, i just sit around in my comfy armchair with air con and boss people around, but then i also do not live 200 km away from civilization.

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Did you actually read my post? Have you ever laid bricks/made cement mortar, hauled material around a building site, ever? Masonry isn't hard exercise? It's better than driving to town 4 times a day as you suggest. I am not looking for your approval, not for suggestions about how I sweat. I knew that I would get some holier than thou guys answering but when they just ignore what I have written then it gets annoying. I don't have time to go to the stupid gym because I AM WORKING HARD AND GETTING A SWEAT UP HERE AT HOME! Get it? I don't want to drive 200Km a day losing time on my building project. Your repeated attempts to get me to the gym are ridiculous, you seem to think this is the solution to everything. Furthermore I am not in denial about anything

As i said, keep on drinking, just time it and it will solve all problems.

All that work must be paying off well, when wife pawns wedding ringthumbsup.gif

No mate, i never worked, i just sit around in my comfy armchair with air con and boss people around, but then i also do not live 200 km away from civilization.

No need to be cynical - or is this the "cruel to be kind" approach?

First sentence:, IF the op is not an alcoholic, and only drinks too much, then yes, timing could solve all problems.

Only, I do not know, you do not know, the OP does not know - the OP needs to find out (and he will need help with finding out).

Shame on you for your second sentence.

And what do you mean with the 3rd sentence?

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