How to stop/ slow down?

[joebrown]

how to stop ? Easy ! Just go on being a sponge until your liver explodes and you die. Then you will also stop drinking

I never considered myself a 'heavy' drinker until 4 months ago when my Thai Hospital consultant suggested I have an Ultrasound test on my liver and kidneys, because I was about 20k overweight.

What a shock that was!

The test result showed what I expected ie a 'fatty' liver, but the I never expected "liver shows serious damage from alcohol consumption". This really opened my eyes and mind because I never considered there might be a problem of this magnitude.

From that day onwards I still went to 7/11 every day and bought a few cans and mixers. However, they aren't beer cans any more, just fruit juice or Coke Zero. I felt the 'need a beer' pains for a few days, and now, as long as I have a drink in my hand in the evening I'm happy.

My weight has come down by 5k and my blood pressure is looking more like it should do for a person of my age. It's all a matter of will power. I say this because i gave up smoking ciggies 8 years ago. I didn't cut down, I just stopped going to the shop to buy them. Good luck with whatever plan 'floats your boat'.

[dotpoom]

If you have a drink problem ie.,(does alcohol continually interfere with your social, financial or working life)if so, then it is lightly you have. Then there are no half measures...the only treatment is total abstinence which, contrary to what you might think, will lead to a life beyond your wildest dreams. You may need the help from some of the millions who have achieved this already. If you continue (if you have an Alcohol problem) then it can only get worse. Why not try an AA meeting just to see if you can identify with anyone...if not, nothing is lost...you can have your old way of life back and nobody from the meeting will begrudge you that.

Eye Opener (1950)

Columbus is the only man on record who didn't

know where he was going when he set sail,

didn't know where he was when he got there,

and didn't know where he had been when he got back,

and still escaped the reputation of being an alcoholic.

If AA paid no further dividends than to

get us out of that haphazard, confused

and disordered way of living, it would be enough.

Now we at least know which end is up.

[MikeOwen]

Selincro is NHS approved in UK for alcoholism so it has some solid science behind it.

And it's gotta be cheap if it's supplied on the UK NHS !

[maderaroja]

I understand that there is a drug that will not permit you to drink, once having taken it. I don't know how often that it must be administered. For that, you should consult a physician. I hope that you are successful in learning to quit.

[ThomasHOL]

Cooked, i have now read the entire thread and i have one thing i have to get out of my system first.

STOP DRIVING A CAR WHEN DRUNK!

Drunk drivers deserve a special place in hell (just an expression I don’t believe in a afterlife) You might think that your driving are not impaired but since you haven’t been sober for 30+ years how the hell would you know? What you confuse is that your system is so addicted that you think the normal state is the drunken state.

Ok I got that out of my system let’s get on with it. You are obvious here because you have realized that you might have a problem. But I don’t think that you are seeking help, I think you are seeking validation that your 7 beers (start at 11 and I calculated you go to bed at 21.30) a day scheme is the right thing to do. But as you write in your first post “starting at an eagerly awaited 11am” and “ I really do look at the time” those are clear signs that you are addicted. You might be able to cut down on the beers for a while but you are an alcoholic and I believe that you will be back up there again shortly.

You need to quit drinking all together and yes it will be hard you have been drinking for a lot of years so it is part of your daily routine. Actually I do think that some of the other guys have the right idea when they say go to the gym. It has nothing to do with the exercise it is about getting out of the routine where you drink. You have been very much against the posters that mention the Gym, but it could be anything away from your daily routine, you just have to choose what is good for you. I know that you are saying that building thing is you hobby, but since you had a job that supported your addiction you might think about quitting that while you recover.

But to be honest I don’t think you are really ready to quit, but if you can’t stop drinking then please stop driving.

[SOTIRIOS]

...start taking b-complex vitamins...it should reduce the urge....

...flavored soda water....

...but of course...you have to want to....

[Ghostnigel]

Ultimately it comes down to:

IF you are an alcoholic, I think it is probably better to stop drinking altogether.

IF you just drink too much, I think that slowing down is probably better.

But how to tell? The fact that the OP called himself an alcoholic means as little as the OP denying to be an alcoholic.

And on what grounds can WE tell him what he is?

Does anyone have suggestions on how to tell the difference?

I would suggest it is not about amounts of alcohol consumed. But rather: does the drinking seriously harm the person's social life? Becoming violent, drunk driving, loosing social contacts, neglecting work,...

My advise would be: definitely ask and accept the help of your wife - and look for a good friend or specialist to give you even more support.

That all seems very reasonable..you hit the 'nail on the head'. He really needs expert advise, its the only way.

[jacko45k]

You need to make rules and stick to them.

1) If you plan to be driving, absolutely no drinking. One day you could hurt someone, that someone could be family member or yourself. And it may go beyond hurt.

2) No drink until the sun-sets...... and if you plan going out, cancel those early ones.

3) If you get drunk, have a sober day the next day, no drinking.

4) Beer only.

5) If at home, 5 little ones maximum

If you fail limiting yourself, you should stop 100%.

I tried to stop smoking with your method, slowed me down but didn't stop me.

That I did cold-turkey.

[Caprelo]

I see many supportive comments, some think that cutting down is a good idea ( I'm sure I can do that) and some tell me it won't work, I have to give up completely. The only thing I'm sure of is that what works for one person may not work for another. It's a start anyway.

Dear Mr. Cooked,

The truth is we may not be as unique as we think we are. There are millions of problem drinkers/alcoholics. Below are some words from an expert on the matter. Only you can answer the truth about yourself but first we need to get honest with ourselves. I hope you do not kill someone in the meantime. All the best to you.

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn’t done so yet.

Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!

[fang37]

Stopping drinking is only part of the problem. Staying stopped is a much bigger issue.

Self-help groups allude to alcoholism as a 3-fold illness - physical, emotional & spiritual.

Merely, trying to band-aid ONE component simply does not work.

It is a disease of denial - are you denying that you have a problem?

What are you looking for to fill this hole on your life?

You need far more than good luck.

[Rusty Keyhole]

Good luck mate,but admitting you have been an alcoholic for 30 years,I think you already know the answer.how many times have you stopped,then thinking you have beaten it,have thought I'll just have a couple,then end up back where you started?

One drink is one too many for an alki and stopping completely is the only answer.

To stop the shakes and dt's cut down gradual and a few Valium come in handy when things get too tough.

Some can drink and some can't but it's a great life without,I promise.

[cooked]

Well there are a lot of posts here suggesting that I am in denial. I'm not. My original post asked if anyone had tried reducing his intake by strictly adhering to certain rules. (first beer at 11am, one beer every 90 minutes, last drink at 21.30). Nobody answered that question yet. The previous post suggests that I have the shakes and dts. Screw you. My father drank more than me and died at the age of 85 He also smoked 60 a day come to that and you can say the same about my mother.

The thread has become a bit sterile, too much preaching and lecturing going on.

There are exceptions to this, and most helpful they are, too. Thanks to those guys.

[Kurt Kubik]

Just about the jesus thing as they have en Europe... There is not such thing as jesus in the AA recovery program.. there are a 12 step program which is a SUGGESTION" to a program

of recovery... there is a suggest that you find a higher power than yourself.. which means replace your EGO... well enough you know that you are not God.. Alcoholism is a disease,, a mental

"

obsession and a physical addiction...there are as i see now a new recovery program, called " SMART RECOVERY" but as i see it, nobody is to stupid to join AA.. many are too smart,

I am among drunks every day, because i need to socialice...And it seems a lot of them is doing ok... because they have a Thai wife to pick them up...So many just die from this disease

or they hit the rock bottom... And have to make a live or die choose...so again, you are the only one to know... but we are there for you if you attend an AA meeting... for sure ;o)

[bobthomas]

Many expats go through a period of time in which they drink too much. At some point it invariably becomes much less fun and much more destructive.

Every step in the right direction is one more step in the right direction.

Exercise, eat well, get some friends that like Golf or Windsurfing. Even if you just hit some balls at the driving range it will put you in a different environment.

Your body will then be more in tune with nature and less in tune with being inebriated.

Bob

[Kurt Kubik]

IT IS NOT A F.... QUESTION WHAT TIME YOU START... IT IS IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR DRINKING OR NOT....

[bobthomas]

Well there are a lot of posts here suggesting that I am in denial. I'm not. My original post asked if anyone had tried reducing his intake by strictly adhering to certain rules. (first beer at 11am, one beer every 90 minutes, last drink at 21.30). Nobody answered that question yet. The previous post suggests that I have the shakes and dts. Screw you. My father drank more than me and died at the age of 85 He also smoked 60 a day come to that and you can say the same about my mother.

The thread has become a bit sterile, too much preaching and lecturing going on.

There are exceptions to this, and most helpful they are, too. Thanks to those guys.

7 Beers a day is not overly excessive. If you can keep it at that then it's good.

[bobthomas]

Well there are a lot of posts here suggesting that I am in denial. I'm not. My original post asked if anyone had tried reducing his intake by strictly adhering to certain rules. (first beer at 11am, one beer every 90 minutes, last drink at 21.30). Nobody answered that question yet. The previous post suggests that I have the shakes and dts. Screw you. My father drank more than me and died at the age of 85 He also smoked 60 a day come to that and you can say the same about my mother.

The thread has become a bit sterile, too much preaching and lecturing going on.

There are exceptions to this, and most helpful they are, too. Thanks to those guys.

7 beers a day. Not excessive. If you can keep to that schedule then it's under control.

[Timwin]

Try naltrexone (or Selincro) if you think you cannot cut down on your own. It does not make you vomit or get you sick. It takes that 6-8 months to work.

AA has been proven to have a success rate less than 10 percent. It is actually quite harmful for those who go back to drinking again and again. Each time they start drinking again after a dry period, they drink even more than before.

Today, there is no one size fits all. Some are blackout drunks, some are social drinkers drinking too much, some are periodical binge drinkers. For most cutting down to zero is just not realistic no matter what the AA guys say. Different treatments for different cases.

[cooked]

Try naltrexone (or Selincro) if you think you cannot cut down on your own. It does not make you vomit or get you sick. It takes that 6-8 months to work.

AA has been proven to have a success rate less than 10 percent. It is actually quite harmful for those who go back to drinking again and again. Each time they start drinking again after a dry period, they drink even more than before.

Today, there is no one size fits all. Some are blackout drunks, some are social drinkers drinking too much, some are periodical binge drinkers. For most cutting down to zero is just not realistic no matter what the AA guys say. Different treatments for different cases.

I'm sure that in the day when there was no alternative, AA was the only alternative. But as you say, you can't do a 'one size fits all' solution. I have known young alcis that were drinking 6 cans before they went to work (ex employee) and others that drank a pint of whiskey a day. In those days the breweries sent trucks around the building sites, one case of 8 litres per man was not uncommon. One of the healthiest guys I met was a schnapps distiller. He took a glass every morning before getting out of bed, and was tasting his produce several times a day. I'm not saying that this is sensible, but there are so many different kinds of alci, and there are so many different ways of attacking the problem.

I seem to have reached a plateau of 8 beers a day, not all consumed in one three hour evening binge. I'll stay where I am for the time being and see if I can reduce further.

No way will I be trying any chemical solution. This is between me and the demon alhocol.

[patrick1968]

start exercise first let your drinking at night only , then start to cut off your drinking day,,one day off then another day ,,,till you can control yourself ,,,not easy but it will work , good luck

[ozyjon]

Try drinking shandies, (half beer/lemonade) your problem isn't

you drinking 20 cans a day but it's the alcohol level you consume

keep drinking beer not the alcohol, reduce your alcohol intake -

problem solved, if you find it's the alcohol you crave (like nicotine)

then a help group is what you need.

Who do i send the bill to, ?

PS; You said My wife had to pawn the wedding ring to get us to the end of the month

there's something wrong here, are you implying you have no money? You are letting

down the side, don't you know we falangs are all filthy rich westerners that come to

this country to help the locals live a better life, don't we?

[nidieunimaitre]

Just about the jesus thing as they have en Europe... There is not such thing as jesus in the AA recovery program.. there are a 12 step program which is a SUGGESTION" to a program

of recovery... there is a suggest that you find a higher power than yourself.. which means replace your EGO... well enough you know that you are not God.. Alcoholism is a disease,, a mental

"

obsession and a physical addiction...there are as i see now a new recovery program, called " SMART RECOVERY" but as i see it, nobody is to stupid to join AA.. many are too smart,

I am among drunks every day, because i need to socialice...And it seems a lot of them is doing ok... because they have a Thai wife to pick them up...So many just die from this disease

or they hit the rock bottom... And have to make a live or die choose...so again, you are the only one to know... but we are there for you if you attend an AA meeting... for sure ;o)

There must be different AA's then.

My best friend - a real alcoholic - went to a meeting and walked out when they started to thank their lord for the strength he gave them to remain sober. Makes you wonder why that lord did not give them the strength to not start in the first place. Silly lord, if you ask me.

PS: my friend is sober now, so he is not using the lord thing as an excuse to keep drinking.

[redbarron]

Drink non-alcoholic beer. It doesn't taste quite as good (to me at least), so that will probably slow down your intake. And you won't have a hangover and your liver will thank you.

[rhodie]

I see many supportive comments, some think that cutting down is a good idea ( I'm sure I can do that) and some tell me it won't work, I have to give up completely. The only thing I'm sure of is that what works for one person may not work for another. It's a start anyway.

What I object to: I wrote that one day (as in one) I drank a whole pack of 24 cans. People just jump to that and assume that I am drinking a pack a days since 30 years. I haven't.

Secondly I am told to get a hobby or go to the gym (by two people). Damn it, as I have written before, and obviously these people haven't bothered to read, the nearest gym must be 25 Km away and I don't have time for 'hobbies' as I work around the house, garden and farm at least 6 hours a day. I don't need the stress and strain on joints already attacked by years of hard physical labour by sitting in a stupid rowing machine or something. Work is my hobby,

Anyway, two people suggested I keep a diary, I am doing that and will let you know after a month.

Good luck with this and I look forward to hearing good news in a month. This at least makes you think about what you are doing. Hopefully you were just drinking too much and soon you won't be watching the clock.

[happy Joe]

I agree with others that your current method is good but too frustrating and unsustainable in the long term.

Currently you the reconfort after the effort is in the can. I think it must be replaced by another less destructive pleasure. Simple abstinence is doomed to failure.

What new pleasure? the list should be long and many suggestions but only you can find it. My experience with the same problem was to get excited about coffee. Purchasing a nice machine, looking for the best raw Arabica etc. The objective: to replace the can with a cup of coffee except at dinner.

This worked perfectly for many years. Only slows down the rendering is that now I drink more than 15 cups each day ...

[Kurt Kubik]

Just about the jesus thing as they have en Europe... There is not such thing as jesus in the AA recovery program.. there are a 12 step program which is a SUGGESTION" to a program

of recovery... there is a suggest that you find a higher power than yourself.. which means replace your EGO... well enough you know that you are not God.. Alcoholism is a disease,, a mental

"

obsession and a physical addiction...there are as i see now a new recovery program, called " SMART RECOVERY" but as i see it, nobody is to stupid to join AA.. many are too smart,

I am among drunks every day, because i need to socialice...And it seems a lot of them is doing ok... because they have a Thai wife to pick them up...So many just die from this disease

or they hit the rock bottom... And have to make a live or die choose...so again, you are the only one to know... but we are there for you if you attend an AA meeting... for sure ;o)

There must be different AA's then.

My best friend - a real alcoholic - went to a meeting and walked out when they started to thank their lord for the strength he gave them to remain sober. Makes you wonder why that lord did not give them the strength to not start in the first place. Silly lord, if you ask me.

PS: my friend is sober now, so he is not using the lord thing as an excuse to keep drinking.

[Kurt Kubik]

there only is a suggestion you find a power greater than yourself.... call it him whatever you want.. and it is a just suggestions... the first is that you keep it simple..and 1 day at the time

" some people say i am i denial, i am not"... waw what a statement.Now AA is not for those who need it... but for those who want it... elsewhere there would not be space enough i the rooms

Its not meant to be by agitation, but by example....People can for my sake drink themself to dead or getting a wet brain.. it none of my business.. but if someone reach out for help we are there

for me the question was stupid... does not matter what time you start.. 9-10.11 it is can you control the drinking...Asking a question how to slow down... seems like a realization that the man

has a problem...Nothing wrong with being an alcoholic....something wrong not doing anything about it... but nice guys dies from this disease...when i wanted to control it, i could not enjoy it

and when i could enjoy it, i could not control it....so i am out of this debate...

[chrisinth]

Ultimately it comes down to:

IF you are an alcoholic, I think it is probably better to stop drinking altogether.

IF you just drink too much, I think that slowing down is probably better.

But how to tell? The fact that the OP called himself an alcoholic means as little as the OP denying to be an alcoholic.

And on what grounds can WE tell him what he is?

Does anyone have suggestions on how to tell the difference?

I would suggest it is not about amounts of alcohol consumed. But rather: does the drinking seriously harm the person's social life? Becoming violent, drunk driving, loosing social contacts, neglecting work,...

My advise would be: definitely ask and accept the help of your wife - and look for a good friend or specialist to give you even more support.

Excellent points!

One of the best definitions i have read is:

An alcoholic is a person, while alcoholism is the illness. An alcoholic suffers from alcoholism. Alcoholism is a long-term (chronic) disease.

And it is not an easy question to answer. i posted in this thread to outline how a portion of my life ran, but during that time, even with the amounts of alcohol consumed, i still wouldn't have called myself, or any of my mates an alcoholic. However, that i know would be heavily argued with people from the medical profession.

I actually did a bit of research (because of this thread) and, as long as its OK with the forum rules, would suggest that readers have a look at this site, it lays it out quite well:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/157163.php

The only bad thing about it IMO are the statistical figures, but it does show the mindsets of different countries where alcohol is brought into the limelight.

[jossthaifarang]

Well I've been drinking everyday for the last 8 years, it progressed to the point of weekdays after work 4-5 big bottles beer, weekends start in the morning through the day in the last 6 months progressed up to 6-8 bottles a day on Sat and Sun.

On Thursday last week I decided screw it I've had enough, first day was a little hard second not so bad after than no bother. Its all about just putting yourself in the right mind frame.

So far so good, have not had a beer yet. We will see how it goes, I do suspect though the next time I decide to have "a beer" its going to become more than just a few..

[impulse]

I do suspect though the next time I decide to have "a beer" its going to become more than just a few..

That was my problem. I could stop whenever I wanted, and for months at a time. But after the first one, I couldn't tell you whether I was going to stop at one, or two, or next Tuesday. That first drink affected me differently than it affected most folks. It's one of the (many) symptoms of alcoholism.