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BANGKOK 25 May 2019 07:52

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Kenny202

Pressures of living in an Isaan village

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I think my wife is starting to feel some pressure living here. Been a lot of pressures on her moving back here with a farang husband...strangely I've adapted easilly. I think she thought she would move back here and receive instant status etc but the tall poppy syndrome is alive and well in Isaan. Petty jealousies, gossip, showing off par for the course. My wife came to live in Australia for a year and wasn't impressed with the big house etc. She couldn't get the same food there as in Isaan haha. I wud rather have a girl like that than a woman who dives into the designer lifestyle. She grew up dirt poor, and I mean poorer than most poor people here. She really hasn't changed either, the people around her have though. For eg people can't understand why she has money yet she dresses like a farm girl and gossip. If she was getting around in designer gear and make up she'd be equally ostrasised. She's had 3 friends put photos of me in their Facebook and lead others to believe i am their guy. Even close friends which has hurt her deeply. Had a girl here yesterday joke to her if my wife doesn't help her find a farang husband she'll come and steal me. A joke but not a joke to an Isaan girl. Half the people seem to gossip because I roll my own cigarettes and we chose to renovate her basic 2 bedroom home rather than build a palace. We have a lovely comfortable home but who in their right mind would spend millions of baht on a home on non chanote village land in someone elses name. I'm kie neow and kie nok. Seems like many would like to see her fall down and very hard for her to win it would seem. Weve gone out of our way to be friendly and respectful, live low key and help where we can. I wont have a bar of showing off. Its easy for me to genuinely respect most here because I cudnt work on a farm bent over for 12 hours in 40 degree heat. We have a lot of genuine friends here too but the few negative types dominate my wifes thoughts. The gossip really doesn't worry me as in most cases whilst they're wrong I can understand the childlike reasoning, lack of education and the boredom which breeds gossip. There are some hiso families in the village with big homes and big gates and they simply shut the lower people out of their lives. Strangely people here seem to respect that as that is how they expect someone with money to act and there comfortable. Everything as it should be. We don't encourage cadgers wanting a handout or drunks but the local kids know they are always welcome and get a feed here. Even that's been a bone of contention? Why you take care of kid but not give older people anything? I'm afforded VIP Status everywhere I go simply because I am a farang. I actually like the language barrier, I don't have to listen to any negativity. Im not whining or complaining. Im very happy living here but i do feel for my wife. Anyone else have similar pressures moving to Isaan?

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Yep - village life. It's the same the whole world over and I recognize loads of your excellent post when it comes to a Thai interpolation.

That's why the developed world has urbanised to a point where everyone lives in little padded isolation cells and dies $hit-lonely. I exaggerate for effect!

You pays yer money and you takes yer chances - we still opt for the close community life but it's subject to constant review. It does get better as the years pass.

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Yep - village life. It's the same the whole world over and I recognize loads of your excellent post when it comes to a Thai interpolation.

That's why the developed world has urbanised to a point where everyone lives in little padded isolation cells and dies $hit-lonely. I exaggerate for effect!

You pays yer money and you takes yer chances - we still opt for the close community life but it's subject to constant review. It does get better as the years pass.

one of the main reasons my wife wanted to move back here. How you can live in box not say hello next door? When I think about it was my main reason too. Wanted to get out of the revolving door...wake up, sit traffic, go to work, back home make dinner, watch TV, go to bed. Weekend go to the mall. I know in my mind in time everyone here will get used to us and understand us. Many know I'm the first one to offer a lift into town to an old person, help out with a sick kid etc. My thoughts are keep Ur head down, help where u can and in turn the good stories will overtake the gossip of those who don't even know us

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@Kenny202 and @SantiSuk,

You make some interesting observations.

@Kenny202

I think that what you're talking about is pretty much human nature. Maybe you're more aware of it than in your home country due to feeling to be an outsider looking in, or maybe because you're hearing a lot about it and only a little about other matters (as you say, "We have a lot of genuine friends here too but the few negative types dominate my wifes thoughts").

In your situation (as I sometimes am) I'd rise above it. If you know that you are decent genuine people then you don't need to pay much attention to the minority of idiots that you encounter.

I wish you good luck in Isaan.

HP

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@Kenny202 and @SantiSuk,

You make some interesting observations.

@Kenny202

I think that what you're talking about is pretty much human nature. Maybe you're more aware of it than in your home country due to feeling to be an outsider looking in, or maybe because you're hearing a lot about it and only a little about other matters (as you say, "We have a lot of genuine friends here too but the few negative types dominate my wifes thoughts").

In your situation (as I sometimes am) I'd rise above it. If you know that you are decent genuine people then you don't need to pay much attention to the minority of idiots that you encounter.

I wish you good luck in Isaan.

HP

that is my exact feeling. I guess I'm outside the forest looking at the trees. Harder for my girl. There are people here I deeply value their opinion of me. Others you do everything you can, if not good enough what can you do. Human nature is the word and it's no different over the world. Only the circumstances in which people live

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All my Thai neighbors hate me because I yell at them in Thai when having to clean up their dogs' mess after their dogs leave such mess in front of our gate where I have to either clean it up or step in it when opening/closing our gate while they stand there watching me clean it up.

Suits me just fine.

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All my Thai neighbors hate me because I yell at them in Thai when having to clean up their dogs' mess after their dogs leave such mess in front of our gate where I have to either clean it up or step in it when opening/closing our gate while they stand there watching me clean it up.

Suits me just fine.

you're a cranky old man JL hahaha :-)

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All my Thai neighbors hate me because I yell at them in Thai when having to clean up their dogs' mess after their dogs leave such mess in front of our gate where I have to either clean it up or step in it when opening/closing our gate while they stand there watching me clean it up.

Suits me just fine.

you're a cranky old man JL hahaha :-)

No -- I just don't like stepping in the neighbors' dogs' sh-t and apparently they don't care if i have to step in their dogs' sh-t. I wouldn't say this is in the village but on the outskirts of town where there are still rice fields all around.

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I just don't get the dog situation in my area. No one appears to take care any of the dogs as a pet. Most appear to hate them and throw rocks at them. Flea bitten diseased ridden things. Luckily none are vicious here. I'm sure if someone would cull them all wud be greatfull. Same as the bloody chickens here. People here scratch up bamboo and search the trees for food yet I've never seen anyone kill a chicken or properly house them to collect eggs etc. They're just here. Luckily the dogs take the toll on the chickens

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In my situation all the dogs are pets. The flip-side is that the people from whom I rent my house and share the same front gate appreciate that they can take their kids out to school in the morning and I have already cleaned up any mess. The exception is usually only when I leave real early and the dogs have made their deposit after I leave and then they clean it up themselves so their kids won't step in the mess.

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I get the feeling where the OP is talking about no one cleans up dog crap.

I was only saying to my Mrs yesterday with all the soi dogs, I don't remember one time seeing dog sht anywhere?

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I get the feeling where the OP is talking about no one cleans up dog crap.

I was only saying to my Mrs yesterday with all the soi dogs, I don't remember one time seeing dog sht anywhere?
They all visit JLCrab

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Well I just thought it amusing that the OP says he gets along with his neighbors but I certainly don't and it's only because of their dogs.

Beyond that I don't get into dog psychology as to why they do what they do.

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