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BANGKOK 24 May 2019 12:51

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Kenny202

Pressures of living in an Isaan village

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I think in many ways it's more simple and I think it's good to have independence within a relationship. When you earn your own money you value what went into creating it, it is less likely to be abused or taken for granted or argued about.

I never supported this lifestyle. Why should a woman work or have a bank account? And how can it be abused if you take care of things? I mean, if you have the money why you let your wife decide what to do with it?

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All my Thai neighbors hate me because I yell at them in Thai when having to clean up their dogs' mess after their dogs leave such mess in front of our gate where I have to either clean it up or step in it when opening/closing our gate while they stand there watching me clean it up.

Suits me just fine.

you're a cranky old man JL hahaha :-)

Why ? because he doesn't like cleaning up someone else's crap?

I think he was trying to inject a little humour.

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I think in many ways it's more simple and I think it's good to have independence within a relationship. When you earn your own money you value what went into creating it, it is less likely to be abused or taken for granted or argued about.

I never supported this lifestyle. Why should a woman work or have a bank account? And how can it be abused if you take care of things? I mean, if you have the money why you let your wife decide what to do with it?

Why shouldn't a woman work and have a bank account if she wants those things? So if you have the money you hold the reins of power and she has no say in anything? You're obviously not married or if you are then you must be a complete misogynistic dictator.

So if you die first which is normally the case for men, your woman has no clue how to survive and manage money because you've failed to teach her these things because you wanted to be boss, thought you were going to live forever and she has meant nothing more to you than being a maid, Your kids if you have any would also be left vulnerable because you needed to be a control freak. Don't you want to be remembered well when you pass on? Or do you want them all to say, thank God he's gone! Then that is the time when if they have any money left over that you obviously no longer need, then it gets abused because they don't know any better, or others muscle in and take from them because they have no monetary skills. You need to think a bit deeper my friend.

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I think in many ways it's more simple and I think it's good to have independence within a relationship. When you earn your own money you value what went into creating it, it is less likely to be abused or taken for granted or argued about.

I never supported this lifestyle. Why should a woman work or have a bank account? And how can it be abused if you take care of things? I mean, if you have the money why you let your wife decide what to do with it?

Why shouldn't a woman work and have a bank account if she wants those things? So if you have the money you hold the reins of power and she has no say in anything? You're obviously not married or if you are then you must be a complete misogynistic dictator.

So if you die first which is normally the case for men, your woman has no clue how to survive and manage money because you've failed to teach her these things because you wanted to be boss, thought you were going to live forever and she has meant nothing more to you than being a maid, Your kids if you have any would also be left vulnerable because you needed to be a control freak. Don't you want to be remembered well when you pass on? Or do you want them all to say, thank God he's gone! Then that is the time when if they have any money left over that you obviously no longer need, then it gets abused because they don't know any better, or others muscle in and take from them because they have no monetary skills. You need to think a bit deeper my friend.

So you are doing the my friend thing. Great to meet new friends here that know nothing about someone but talk like they know everything. Weird unfriendly nature, mostly a parenting problem.

You do not need to be a dictator to be the leader of the pack, you will be loved, giving love and be appreciated by your family - men who let their wife control basic things of their own life do not understand this.

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Why shouldn't a woman work and have a bank account if she wants those things? So if you have the money you hold the reins of power and she has no say in anything? You're obviously not married or if you are then you must be a complete misogynistic dictator.

So if you die first which is normally the case for men, your woman has no clue how to survive and manage money because you've failed to teach her these things because you wanted to be boss, thought you were going to live forever and she has meant nothing more to you than being a maid, Your kids if you have any would also be left vulnerable because you needed to be a control freak. Don't you want to be remembered well when you pass on? Or do you want them all to say, thank God he's gone! Then that is the time when if they have any money left over that you obviously no longer need, then it gets abused because they don't know any better, or others muscle in and take from them because they have no monetary skills. You need to think a bit deeper my friend.

Misogynist = someone who hates women, why would such a person choose to live with a woman?

My wife is a student at CMU, why do I need to teach her anything, that's what high school and university are for.

She has the same chances as every other uni student to earn money.

Except now, no need to work in a beer bar to earn money, and when I'm dead (not long now), no student loans to pay back.

I would class you as the misogynist, as you seem to think women need a man to teach them what to do, and how to manage their money.

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I think in many ways it's more simple and I think it's good to have independence within a relationship. When you earn your own money you value what went into creating it, it is less likely to be abused or taken for granted or argued about.

I never supported this lifestyle. Why should a woman work or have a bank account? And how can it be abused if you take care of things? I mean, if you have the money why you let your wife decide what to do with it?

Why shouldn't a woman work and have a bank account if she wants those things? So if you have the money you hold the reins of power and she has no say in anything? You're obviously not married or if you are then you must be a complete misogynistic dictator.

So if you die first which is normally the case for men, your woman has no clue how to survive and manage money because you've failed to teach her these things because you wanted to be boss, thought you were going to live forever and she has meant nothing more to you than being a maid, Your kids if you have any would also be left vulnerable because you needed to be a control freak. Don't you want to be remembered well when you pass on? Or do you want them all to say, thank God he's gone! Then that is the time when if they have any money left over that you obviously no longer need, then it gets abused because they don't know any better, or others muscle in and take from them because they have no monetary skills. You need to think a bit deeper my friend.

So you are doing the my friend thing. Great to meet new friends here that know nothing about someone but talk like they know everything. Weird unfriendly nature, mostly a parenting problem.

You do not need to be a dictator to be the leader of the pack, you will be loved, giving love and be appreciated by your family - men who let their wife control basic things of their own life do not understand this.

I think what you don't understand, my acquaintance (sic), is that a shared relationship has nothing to do with "control;" which is what seems to be your echoing repetition because you think that as a man it is your role and entitlement that lesser beings such as females don't need to improve or excel, because it might threaten your manhood and thus your authority. Some women do but it's not a rule.."Men who let their wife control basic things of their own life" sounds like you're on guard for some challenge which you believe is latent in all women to usurp your position if you're not vigilant. The extension of this is to deny education i.e. the mushroom theory- keep them in the dark and feed them BS. Sorry to be weird or unfriendly but you remind me of the insecurity that pervades Islam today in their obsession with control by divine right of their women.

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because you think that as a man it is your role and entitlement that lesser beings such as females don't need to improve or excel, because it might threaten your manhood and thus your authority.

I'm not a teacher, it isn't my job to train anyone what to do (not to mention no work permit), man or woman.

But if it's my money, I get to spend it however I want.

If 'she' wants money, 'she' can earn it and spend it how 'she' likes.

The dichotomy of your posts,

His money, but she gets to share it, even though she should be independent.

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Why shouldn't a woman work and have a bank account if she wants those things? So if you have the money you hold the reins of power and she has no say in anything? You're obviously not married or if you are then you must be a complete misogynistic dictator.

So if you die first which is normally the case for men, your woman has no clue how to survive and manage money because you've failed to teach her these things because you wanted to be boss, thought you were going to live forever and she has meant nothing more to you than being a maid, Your kids if you have any would also be left vulnerable because you needed to be a control freak. Don't you want to be remembered well when you pass on? Or do you want them all to say, thank God he's gone! Then that is the time when if they have any money left over that you obviously no longer need, then it gets abused because they don't know any better, or others muscle in and take from them because they have no monetary skills. You need to think a bit deeper my friend.

Misogynist = someone who hates women, why would such a person choose to live with a woman?

My wife is a student at CMU, why do I need to teach her anything, that's what high school and university are for.

She has the same chances as every other uni student to earn money.

Except now, no need to work in a beer bar to earn money, and when I'm dead (not long now), no student loans to pay back.

I would class you as the misogynist, as you seem to think women need a man to teach them what to do, and how to manage their money.

Oh hello MaeJoMTB, how are you? we've crossed swords before and also liked each other too!

It's nonsense to say I'm a misogynist if I intend to improve basic information to better someone's life in the absence of their significant other. On the contrary it would be misogynistic not to which seems to be the case in point. I teach my wife about finances because she never had the opportunity to go to Uni and quit school at 12. Why is it misogynistic of me to improve her survival chances in money matters after I'm gone?

In her case it's not a condescension on my part but a needs must. My criticism previously is a deliberate attempt to not impart knowledge because of role playing. That I call misogyny.

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I agree with you Jo. I envy the guys that say they have the perfect wife / relationship but I just can't see how you could ever put one of these ladies in control of your life / finances. I've never treated my missus like it's my money or I'm the boss but I don't have the luxury of empowering someone to screw me over financially. If I was in my 70s with large cash reserves I'd probably be less wary

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because you think that as a man it is your role and entitlement that lesser beings such as females don't need to improve or excel, because it might threaten your manhood and thus your authority.

I'm not a teacher, it isn't my job to train anyone what to do (not to mention no work permit), man or woman.

But if it's my money, I get to spend it however I want.

If 'she' wants money, 'she' can earn it and spend it how 'she' likes.

The dichotomy of your posts,

His money, but she gets to share it, even though she should be independent.

Then there's some agreement then.

Your post: If 'she' wants money, 'she' can earn it and spend it how 'she' likes.

My post :Why shouldn't a woman work and have a bank account if she wants those things?

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I teach my wife about finances because she never had the opportunity to go to Uni and quit school at 12. Why is it misogynistic of me to improve her survival chances in money matters after I'm gone?

Why not let her attend high school for herself, then university for herself.

'Catch up' High school is run by every local Amphur in Thailand on Sundays, 4 years = high school diploma.

And if you finish 'catch up' high school, you are guaranteed a place at university.

She has the opportunity, with your financial backing, you should encourage her to use that opportunity.

There is one lady at CMU, taking her degree at age 70+, she said she never had time before.

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I teach my wife about finances because she never had the opportunity to go to Uni and quit school at 12. Why is it misogynistic of me to improve her survival chances in money matters after I'm gone?

Why not let her attend high school for herself, then university for herself.

'Catch up' High school is run by every local Amphur in Thailand on Sundays, 4 years = high school diploma.

And if you finish 'catch up' high school, you are guaranteed a place at university.

She has the opportunity, with your financial backing, you should encourage her to use that opportunity.

There is one lady at CMU, taking her degree at age 70+, she said she never had time before.

Yes mate thanks for that I will keep it in mind should I return to Thailand, However being in NZ she prefers to hold down a job and feed her kids at this point but I'm sure she could do extra education because she's far from thick.There is no dichotomy in our relationship, she earns money and spends it on me too, so we are independent and co dependent at the same time. But basic survival stuff she should know should I kick the bucket, I try to prepare her for and I think that would be a fairly normal undertaking, yes,no?

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All my Thai neighbors hate me because I yell at them in Thai when having to clean up their dogs' mess after their dogs leave such mess in front of our gate where I have to either clean it up or step in it when opening/closing our gate while they stand there watching me clean it up.

Suits me just fine.

you're a cranky old man JL hahaha :-)

Why ? because he doesn't like cleaning up someone else's crap?

I think he was trying to inject a little humour.

"All my Thai neighbors hate me because I yell at them in Thai when having to clean up their dogs' mess after their dogs leave such mess in front of our gate where I have to either clean it up or step in it when opening/closing our gate while they stand there watching me clean it up"

Suits me just fine.

"Doesn't sound too humorous to me"

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This sounds like a blast from the past.. for 3 years, I lived in an Issan Ging Amphur back in the early 90s.. as a govt volunteer from a western country.

This brought back memories... We were given the introduction to rural life and what to expect.. for the most part it was smooth and the villagers looked out for me.. I dressed modestly and lived at their level and lifestyle.. of course, they all thought.. I was the rich westerner.. which of course was not true.. they saw me riding my bicycle along the roads and to the schools and health centers.

This was a insightful 3 years in the village.. Toughest job I ever loved

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You think that as a man it is your role and entitlement that lesser beings such as females don't need to improve or excel, because it might threaten your manhood and thus your authority. Some women do but it's not a rule.."Men who let their wife control basic things of their own life" sounds like you're on guard for some challenge which you believe is latent in all women to usurp your position if you're not vigilant.

I hear those shallow arguments often, why would anything a woman does weaken my authority or change anything about me? I would be still myself. You are the one who support the idea that a woman may controlling the man's money.

If she wants to work it is already the question why she wants to work, is she bored in life, does she not have enough to do, is there not enough money? To meet my lifestyle, a woman does not need to work and does not need to care about anything regarding to money.

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