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BANGKOK 27 May 2019 12:12

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Kenny202

Pressures of living in an Isaan village

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If you read my earlier posts I said that if you do the right thing , I believe time and patience will win out. I referred to the particular and present issue of the purchase of the bike as a no win. Many things I have done here whilst first laughed at have taken off. When I started growing grass was a great laugh around town. Like why would u grow something u can't eat or sell and only have to cut later? It doesnt worry me. I only smile. Many are now doing the same thing. The latest is why am I "kie neow" and not pay someone to cut the grass. Obviously i dont really have money. Everyone comes to look at our house to get ideas. I've built in robes and a pantry...many other things. They just haven't ever seen anything like that before. An electric water pump. 5000 baht which many here can afford and install easilly. Just never thought of it. I love that aspect of life here

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I live in a nice house and drive a couple of nice cars but no one pays much notice any longer. They have given up asking how much because they know I won’t discuss it and have artful ways of deflecting the conversation away from money.

I walk my big dog on a leash and stop to let the little children hug her and touch her beautiful hair, as adults look on in amazement and sometimes horror. I cycle up to 100 km, don’t smoke or drink and I speak polite Thai. I don’t bother anyone or cause problems and I am not shy about being a devoted and loving husband.
I don’t live the way they think a 61 year old man should live but I am playing the long game and planting the seeds of future change by showing an alternative to what they have seen in the past. As a foreigner one is expected to be different and we are treated with a great deal of deference as well as curiosity. It is probably harder on the wife, so it is up to us to back her up and help her deal with the pressures of living between two cultures.

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We don't seem to have any problems in are small village.Wife related to half of them.I don't make any big deal if some one comes round I just carry on doing my thing and let the wife do what they do.At first they used to comment on the big TV and Western kitchen and bathroom.My big problem is when we are in the UK my wife will not buy nice clothes I buy them for her but she doesn't ware them just give them away.Even when we go out in UK with her Thai friends they really dress up but she goes out like a bag lady.

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We don't seem to have any problems in are small village.Wife related to half of them.I don't make any big deal if some one comes round I just carry on doing my thing and let the wife do what they do.At first they used to comment on the big TV and Western kitchen and bathroom.My big problem is when we are in the UK my wife will not buy nice clothes I buy them for her but she doesn't ware them just give them away.Even when we go out in UK with her Thai friends they really dress up but she goes out like a bag lady.

Fortunately my wife is into both fitness and fashion. I admire her ability to do it all and easily blend in with any level of society, even if she has her preferences. I have seen some Thai women grow in confidence and change their outlook while others are too fearful of change or doing anything different. Some people have it in them and some don't, I guess.

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I don't have much problem particular with the older persons because, when they ask why I am here, I can reply that I came to work as a skilled volunteer at the large Foundation in town that is Under Patronage of His Majesty The King and at least the older persons are quite familiar with such Foundation and the Founder who invited me to get involved. So other than the young local neighbors that you are all getting a kick out of, I believe that I get respect of a nature that few on this website can claim.

Multiple young persons with disabilities have obtained scholarships and degrees overseas based, at least in part, upon my efforts and, although they are unaware of my involvement, local persons are quite aware of the results.

If they ask what I am doing now i can say that I run a small NGO out of USA that is involved in similar issues on an international scale and it beats telling them that I play golf 3 times a week.

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Then again dogs are an excellent judge of character, showing respectful indifference to some who pass by while barking at others or defecating on their doorstep. Dogs don’t pay much attention to the résumé, just the person.smile.png

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Then again dogs are an excellent judge of character, showing respectful indifference to some who pass by while barking at others or defecating on their doorstep. Dogs don’t pay much attention to the résumé, just the person.smile.png

Dogs can be a**holes just like persons.

According to my landlady the dogs have been doing this since long before I moved in. I am just the first of her tenants in the house that borders the street who has been unwilling to put up with it.

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Stop stirring Mr Crab up

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That's OK. Almost 40 years ago to do legal research, I had to spend large amounts of time in law libraries. Now I can do it online at home. Until recently, if I wanted to do the kind of NGO activities I do, I would have to travel to Geneva, New York, Washington, etc. Now I can just do it at home and have respected persons worldwide respond to me who in large measure should have no reason to give me even the time of day.

So I have a great time here in Thailand and socialize mostly with young non-English speaking Thai females. When guys on here laugh at me that I don't spend more time socializing with the farang community, I can point to some of things said on here and other current Forum topics and say Who the (blazes) needs it?

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All my Thai neighbors hate me because I yell at them in Thai when having to clean up their dogs' mess after their dogs leave such mess in front of our gate where I have to either clean it up or step in it when opening/closing our gate while they stand there watching me clean it up.

Suits me just fine.

you're a cranky old man JL hahaha :-)

No -- I just don't like stepping in the neighbors' dogs' sh-t and apparently they don't care if i have to step in their dogs' sh-t. I wouldn't say this is in the village but on the outskirts of town where there are still rice fields all around.

They're playing you bud. Stupid, angry farang, etc, etc. You're acting out their stereotype of the falang. Snap.

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I don't care what they say because now they say very little. They were only acting out that the stupid farang doesn't know Thai and if our dogs sh-t outside his gate or window he won't say anything about it because he won't want to make us lose face.

Now when they see me they sometimes frown but they say nothing. One of them had a puppy that used to crap out by the gate and I told them if they keep letting that puppy play in the street a car is going to run over it.

The puppy is now gone.

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I don't care what they say because now they say very little. They were only acting out that the stupid farang doesn't know Thai and if our dogs sh-t outside his gate or window he won't say anything about it because he won't want to make us lose face.

Now when they see me they sometimes frown but they say nothing. One of them had a puppy that used to crap out by the gate and I told them if they keep letting that puppy play in the street a car is going to run over it.

The puppy is now gone.

Keep up the good fight and stay focused on the crap.

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I don't care what they say because now they say very little. They were only acting out that the stupid farang doesn't know Thai and if our dogs sh-t outside his gate or window he won't say anything about it because he won't want to make us lose face.

Now when they see me they sometimes frown but they say nothing. One of them had a puppy that used to crap out by the gate and I told them if they keep letting that puppy play in the street a car is going to run over it.

The puppy is now gone.

Keep up the good fight and stay focused on the crap.

Thank you, I think. Nothing like getting up early in the morning and going out to buy some things to eat soon as the sun rises and there is a pile of dog sh-t right in front of your gate such that you will not be able to close the gate without stepping in unless you clean it up.

Other than that , life is pretty d-mn good where I live and the neighbors -- who are the renters not the big property owners -- nowadays keep their distance.

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You used to be able to buy ultrasonic dog deterrents. Work like a PIR spot light but send out high pitch sounds instead of light.

Maybe worth trying one of them at the gate.

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

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Stepping right over the dog shit........

Village life will never change, everybody will know the business of everybody, what they don't know will fabricate, will freely and openly dispense, comment, advice and offer solutions, many will go out of their way to be 'in the know' usually by asking direct questions.....in short, in a village, one is for the majority of the time, an integrated part of the whole

So it follows that at times individual preference and levels of expectation do not meet with the general consensus, add to this, that the word love, does not come anywhere close to actions that show love, i.e. buying gold, building a house for your loved one, etc. If the actions are not visible the question will be frequently asked...Why? So how is the girlfriend/wife to answer if there are no visible signs of 'love'. Indeed great pressure there!!

So for Thai ladies there will inevitably come a time when pressure must be applied to a partner for a clear demonstration of 'love'........call it face, call it what you will, but this is a hurdle any person marrying a village girl/lady will have to negotiate

You will note most of the responses from guys saying they don't really care what people in the village say, do their own thing etc.; are for the most part looking back at the first hurdle and have indeed provided 'action' to substantiate their 'love'

In my opinion controlling the level of expectation is the key to successful village life, but also to ease the tremendous burden on a girlfriend or wife by at least showing a modicum of acquiescence to the ways of village life and expectations

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