Linzz Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 All my Thai neighbors hate me because I yell at them in Thai when having to clean up their dogs' mess after their dogs leave such mess in front of our gate where I have to either clean it up or step in it when opening/closing our gate while they stand there watching me clean it up. Suits me just fine. Pity they don't pick up their own kee maa with plastic bags like they do in civilisation. Go knows everywhere you look there are plastic bags lying around, no shortage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehelmsman Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 All my Thai neighbors hate me because I yell at them in Thai when having to clean up their dogs' mess after their dogs leave such mess in front of our gate where I have to either clean it up or step in it when opening/closing our gate while they stand there watching me clean it up. Suits me just fine. Pity they don't pick up their own kee maa with plastic bags like they do in civilisation. Go knows everywhere you look there are plastic bags lying around, no shortage Could you imagine what they'd be saying if they saw a farang walking behind his dog picking up dog crap in a little plastic bag. Priceless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 They'd probably think we'd crumb it and fry it in oil haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
streboris Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 That would smell better than Pla Ra Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alboxblue Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Kenny, what an enjoyable and entertaining thread you have started on here. At last no politics, no back biting, no spelling or punctuation police to spoil the interesting and light hearted banter. An interesting topic, interspersed with anecdotes, humour and advice. Not often we get such good entertainment on here, well done. I hope you got the answers you were looking for, it seems you should live your life as you want to, don`t take notice of the minority and advise your wife to do the same........Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunderbirds20 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 At least your wife is faithful to you. Mine was fine as long as my bank account was flush, but as soon as my savings were gone, she was cheating on me with another farang. I built a house and store in a small village in Surin, ..so no resale value! I never slept a single night in it, but all my things were stored in it. When my wife took off, her mother refused to let me get anythiung. They even kept my clothes! I was so kind and caring to them and they gave me the boot! They left me penniless and felt justified because to them, .. I had big money! Welcome to Thailand! Now you know why it is called the Land of Smiles!! All you have to do is pack up your wife and go live somewhere else, ..... screw the villagers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linzz Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 No more Isaan for me...Met the girl (somewhat 8 yrs ago) from a nice farmer's family...9 brothers and sisters, all working. Usual story: husband had left her and 2 children...She had taken "shark"- and other loans and bought an at that time expensive motorbike for the son, also on credit. To cut a long story short, I took care of everyting, paid back the loans, took care of her and the children, paid for everything...school care, dental care, skin care dr, eye care...etc... Meanwhile she only wanted to "show off"...had at least 10 "Mc Jeans" in the wardrobe, most expensive cloths and more. Bought a peace of land in her village and built a beautiful house. When the house was finished I decided to sell the 2 door pick-up and wanted to buy a small car so that she also could easy learn to drive. Oh no!...She became really angry...NO small car...finally I was that stupid to listen to her and the most expensive SUV appeared...She wouldn't drive it. She only wanted to show-off... I felt like I only served as the care-taker and the driver...And I got bored of it all. Then I went to the coastal side and looked around to find a nice place where we could spend some time, not too far from the sea. I also discovered that I could follow Thai lessons over there, which opportunity didn't excist in the Isaan area where we lived. And I found an old empty small house where nobody had lived in (except for termites) during 17 years...one can immagine how it looked like... But I decided to fix it up...of course that would take some time. During the works she remained in Isaan and came to visit me twice. I was still supporting her and also paid for the first year of the university for the daughter. She told me that she also found a little job and made sandwiches. Everything sounded ok so far... At a certain day, I receive a phone call from a farang living next to her village. I know him for several years. His wife left him about a year ago. He told me that my wife didn't work at all but stayed with him for 6 months already...all the time she lied about that. She played a double game and he feared that se would leave him. She also takes a monthly allowance from him for her "services". Now she wants an impossible amount of money... The case now goes to Court, in Thailand as well as in my home country... Bey bey, Isaan...I've had it. Gosh that's a terrible story. Thanks for your honesty, You know by now you did it to yourself. You were more than generous because you wanted and expected to be loved and appreciated. You got the opposite because they are not like you. You expected and believed in reciprocity..I greatly respect your patience but in the end it was "pearls before swine" You have done beyond the call of duty. Their greed has cut off their life line and now the vindictiveness has set in. I hope you will survive the damage that your faith in human decency has received. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fang37 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 You cannot force someone to love you & $$$ does not buy love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 We have great conversations in my sometimes fractured Thai. Some go like this Burns & Allen script: Gracie: You can’t eat these peaches, it’s twelve o’clock! Harry Morton: What has that got to do with it? Gracie: It says right here: should serve from two to four. The other day I said Hello! to the only other farang in the restaurant. The TGF said: My friend. I asked her if she knew the girl he was seated with until I realized 'my' is the only English pronoun she knows and she thought maybe he was my friend. I said No I don't know who he is I just was saying Hello! BTW as reading some of the posts above I traveled extensive in SE Asia and China for work for 15 years including 3 extended trips to Thailand before moving full time to Thailand and already could handle the language so I would say that does make a difference Yep "My friend you" Thai way of saying 'your friend' takes a while to get used to Here is my village story Initially my wife and children lived with the mother of my wife (father died young) As required we upgraded the home, a little every year, sure it got a little crowded when the whole family descended on holiday times, but it seemed to me a good arrangement beneficial to both wife and mother. In the background the mother had given some land at the very start of my relationship with my wife, we raised the land in preparation of making a house in the future and allowed the land to settle, planted some bushes and mango trees around the perimeter and settled back........for eight years!! Mango trees growing well Well this had to be a true test of the strength and resilience required by my wife, a prepared plot of land and the mandatory question "When make house?" eight years!! Any gathering, any visitors looking at the plot...first question.....understandably "When make house" I had already explained to my wife land produced profit, house in Thailand looks good but dead money, and too may big houses now have no farang! There came a time recently when a relative wished to sell some land, so we checked it out arranged the chanote and my wife bought it in addition to the land she already farms. I was over the moon as it is a perfect location for our children to build homes if required, a great investment for the future. I never envisaged the consequence of this action, the land was a little expensive but the location made it very desirable and I could live with the price. The relative needed the money and was determined to sell to whoever would pay. Subsequently It would appear that retaining the 'family' land has opened a few doors of acceptance, we have contributed to the whole. So much so my mother in law has offered land close to our new small house if we would care to raise it ready for houses for the children, she also contributed to the cost of the small house my wife and I built shortly after buying the land (House on the original plot) with mango new land currently planted with rice. Another consideration to factor in, 5 guys from the village built the small house, it took only a month, two were my brother in laws. The 'foreman' and his wife have always been a good friends to us, house is good, everybody happy. My wife arranged for the work to be carried out on a set rate for completion plus materials. I am impressed with the build and the price. If you care to calculate the daily rate in rural Thailand it will give an idea of labour costs, with the benefit of a little input into the village economy. Grills for the windows provided and fitted by an uncle, of course exceptionally cost effective. It just seemed when I gave the nod a whole family unit swung into action to support and yes benefit a little too. The true beneficiaries are my wife and children. No more "When make house?" I realise I have divulged a little information here that in the eyes of the more negative readers may encourage some of the old cliches, but believe me, the pleasure of watching my wife remove the stigma of "When make house" after 8 years of displaying exceptional patience was just so rewarding Why did I decide to accommodate it? well the timing just felt right. So a positive slant on village and family life for you guys to absorb I feel am a lucky guy gossip and all Of course now the first question for my wife at gatherings and from visitors "When buy Truck" Oh yes, every time you approach the mark, the bar will be lifted a little higher........but that is life....isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevemercer Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 At least your wife is faithful to you. Mine was fine as long as my bank account was flush, but as soon as my savings were gone, she was cheating on me with another farang. I built a house and store in a small village in Surin, ..so no resale value! I never slept a single night in it, but all my things were stored in it. When my wife took off, her mother refused to let me get anythiung. They even kept my clothes! I was so kind and caring to them and they gave me the boot! They left me penniless and felt justified because to them, .. I had big money! Welcome to Thailand! Now you know why it is called the Land of Smiles!! All you have to do is pack up your wife and go live somewhere else, ..... screw the villagers! Remember the old saying that 'Thai people don't like Westerners, but are happy to make love with us'. This means that many Thai people don't understand westerners and will always remain true to their own culture. They are happy to associate with us, but they will always have self/family interest as the basis for all relationships. As long as we can serve this interest everything will be fine. This is only a generalisation - there are many thoroughly decent and generous Thai people who can think beyond themselves, the family and Thailand. But I really think a Thai woman needs to live in a foreign country for at least a year or two to get a different perspective. She will be a much better marriage prospect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuba 1st Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I love the village life when i go home to it. The kids in the area are the best, no internet and phone rubbish. They do as i did as a child, that play outside and i join them, play soccer, fly Frisbees and even managed to get some boomerangs to give them something different to do. Ive also spent hours with them doing simple maths with them as fun. The adults are great and in time we will be able to communicate as i learn their language. I have no problem with dogs and would never suggest a slingshot with marbles as ammo. Enjoy life in the land of smile people as i do, she be right mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 You cannot force someone to love you & $$$ does not buy love. Indeed, but is it correct to condemn those who are apt consider the 'added value', especially when entering a relationship within a close knit family unit, where members have contributed to the whole for years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 I love the village life when i go home to it. The kids in the area are the best, no internet and phone rubbish. They do as i did as a child, that play outside and i join them, play soccer, fly Frisbees and even managed to get some boomerangs to give them something different to do. Ive also spent hours with them doing simple maths with them as fun. The adults are great and in time we will be able to communicate as i learn their language. I have no problem with dogs and would never suggest a slingshot with marbles as ammo. Enjoy life in the land of smile people as i do, she be right mate.the kids here are one of the best things about living here IMHO. just adorable. Get so much joy from them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 At least your wife is faithful to you. Mine was fine as long as my bank account was flush, but as soon as my savings were gone, she was cheating on me with another farang. I built a house and store in a small village in Surin, ..so no resale value! I never slept a single night in it, but all my things were stored in it. When my wife took off, her mother refused to let me get anythiung. They even kept my clothes! I was so kind and caring to them and they gave me the boot! They left me penniless and felt justified because to them, .. I had big money! Welcome to Thailand! Now you know why it is called the Land of Smiles!! All you have to do is pack up your wife and go live somewhere else, ..... screw the villagers! I actually realized the possibility of this situation or should I say my wife did. She said should she die her cousins would be all over the place (and my stuff) like blowflies on a turd. We just got a legal letter done up listing all of my gear and an MOU memorandum of understanding agreement listing my property and stating I can remove it at anytime. It is signed by both of us and witnessed by 2 local police Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
streboris Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I don't know where you guys came from in your home countries. My parents came from very poor council estates in Manchester UK (welfare housing to our American members). My dad worked hard to buy his own house in a better town. We didn't have much but we had our own home and we're surrounded by people who also owned their own homes. When I was growing up I stayed with my grandparents a lot at weekends and school holidays on a very poor council estate. (Estate is same as villlage) I got to see life from 2 different perspectives. What many of you are referring to as Thai-ness is pretty much how the poor live on council estates in the UK... and they behave exactly the same way towards people that don't emphasise a council accent when they speak... Same the world over I'm sure Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaunduhpostman Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 My wife has complained about similar things as your wife.The word seems to be, in the village, that her character has become bad, basically farangified or big citified. Seeing as they have never known any farang in their lives nor spent much time in a city, I'm not sure how they would know, but anyway, I guess we all have our theories about other people. As I see it, basically, their problem is that she isn't a doormat and they can't get much of anything they want out of her and so they complain she has a sharp tongue and is too direct and has a thousand other character flaws as well I would imagine. Basically she tells them straight out "No" when she doesn't want to do what they want her to do. As just one example, she has allowed some in-laws to fish on her land and even plant gardens for years without charge. Then one day nearly 2 years ago, the in-law family honcho is over to our house, nice enough but being a bit overbearing and pushy and says, "You need to understand something, we have been the ones who are working on that land. And we want to use the land as collateral for a bank loan. That land is as much ours as yours." She's like, "Nothing doing! Who do you think you are? Are you kidding me? Get out of here!" He persisted for weeks with his officious manner, coming round to our place, "We need to set up another meeting to discuss this. We need to have those papers, as we're going into town soon to apply for the loan." She's like, "Youre <deleted> preposterous, dood! There's nothing to discuss! You're not going to hand my land over to the bank because you want to go on a gambling spree or what have you!" She lets them continue to use the land but it seems she is now resented for not also letting them tell the bank that the land's theirs. She just shrugs it off that they don't like her any more for refusing to cooperate on things like this. What can you do about people who are so demanding and unreasonable and who consequently don't like you because you won't just give them anything and everything they ask when they want it? And of course they exaggerate the whole thing and gossip and re-hash it to everyone in the village, so very few like her any more. Doesn't bother her tho, she is resigned to ignoring them for the most part if they are going to be this way. She does her best to continue to be nice to people, give them things and such, be pleasant, certainly more than I would if I were in her shoes. But no freindship or appreciation will come of it, it is just to keep the peace. When I first moved out here I had visions of having big bar-b-que's and such and inviting many neighbors and family. But my wife is just like, "I'm not having it. It's just not a good idea. You are inviting criticism and problems and not much else.They won't enjoy it they'll just be bored and complain about the whole thing for months." I have to say I seem to see her point now. Doesn't bother me either. I don't feel people are hostile, just we are rather ignored, quietly uliked and unloved I suppose. It's their loss as well, its a shame actually, but what are you going to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 We have great conversations in my sometimes fractured Thai. Some go like this Burns & Allen script: Gracie: You can’t eat these peaches, it’s twelve o’clock! Harry Morton: What has that got to do with it? Gracie: It says right here: should serve from two to four. The other day I said Hello! to the only other farang in the restaurant. The TGF said: My friend. I asked her if she knew the girl he was seated with until I realized 'my' is the only English pronoun she knows and she thought maybe he was my friend. I said No I don't know who he is I just was saying Hello! BTW as reading some of the posts above I traveled extensive in SE Asia and China for work for 15 years including 3 extended trips to Thailand before moving full time to Thailand and already could handle the language so I would say that does make a difference Yep "My friend you" Thai way of saying 'your friend' takes a while to get used to < snip > We've been together over 6 years. She doesn't speak English. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Boon Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I've not lived in the village yet, only stayed at the in-laws, usually 3 weeks at a time. Everyone has always been very friendly and welcoming. But last time I was there I made a stupid mistake. I hadn't rented a car and wasn't happy riding the Honda wave... in town I saw some bigger bikes at the yamaha dealer... i had a moment of weakness and I bought a Yamaha R3. The missus said it wouldn't be a problem. But riding in to the village on that was like driving in in a Ferrari... Everyone came to investigate and first question was how much? 185,000 baht is a lot for such a flamboyantly selfish machine. People's attitudes changed towards me. Not only in the village, but everywhere. I will be going to live there soon and not sure how it will be. My wife doesn't normally want expensive clothes or to show off, but she seems proud to ride around on this as a show of status... I think it would be a good idea to sell it but not so easy http://motorbikewriter.com/yamaha-r3-recalled/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phaykk Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Thanks. Now I am not the only one with these same perceptions of my village. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTrip Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Love this thread guys. I only stay in the village for a few weeks each year as i live in the UK with my Thai wife and son for nearly 10 years now. I can relate to most of the moans and groans as well as the positive comments too. We have land to build on in the next 5 to 10 years but we will only build a modest home there as we want a second home away from the village. Not sure where yet but we have travelled to most areas of LOS and like a few places like Ubon and CM. Others suggested living a few km,s from the family and that sounds like a sensible solution. I'm glad I don't have the money grabbing type in laws. Yes we have helped them financially but they work tirelessly for very little return so I don't mind. We recently took my wife's parents and grandmother to Hua Hin for a week in really nice pool villa. Everyday we went out to beaches and temples and every lunch time we found a nice (plastic chairs) restaurant to eat at. Everyday they would order the cheapest meals and water. My wife told me that they didn't want to waste our money. There were 6 of us and it was never over 500baht but to them even this was excessive for lunch. So I'm lucky to have really great family and we will obviously provide for them when they cannot farm anymore. I did laugh at the dog dodo in the thread. It reminds me of my pet hate and my only problem with potential village life is the bloddy noise from the dogs and chickens. I guess I'll just have to deal with that I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
streboris Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
streboris Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 My wife has complained about similar things as your wife.The word seems to be, in the village, that her character has become bad, basically farangified or big citified. Seeing as they have never known any farang in their lives nor spent much time in a city, I'm not sure how they would know, but anyway, I guess we all have our theories about other people. As I see it, basically, their problem is that she isn't a doormat and they can't get much of anything they want out of her and so they complain she has a sharp tongue and is too direct and has a thousand other character flaws as well I would imagine. Basically she tells them straight out "No" when she doesn't want to do what they want her to do. As just one example, she has allowed some in-laws to fish on her land and even plant gardens for years without charge. Then one day nearly 2 years ago, the in-law family honcho is over to our house, nice enough but being a bit overbearing and pushy and says, "You need to understand something, we have been the ones who are working on that land. And we want to use the land as collateral for a bank loan. That land is as much ours as yours." She's like, "Nothing doing! Who do you think you are? Are you kidding me? Get out of here!" He persisted for weeks with his officious manner, coming round to our place, "We need to set up another meeting to discuss this. We need to have those papers, as we're going into town soon to apply for the loan." She's like, "Youre <deleted> preposterous, dood! There's nothing to discuss! You're not going to hand my land over to the bank because you want to go on a gambling spree or what have you!" She lets them continue to use the land but it seems she is now resented for not also letting them tell the bank that the land's theirs. She just shrugs it off that they don't like her any more for refusing to cooperate on things like this. What can you do about people who are so demanding and unreasonable and who consequently don't like you because you won't just give them anything and everything they ask when they want it? And of course they exaggerate the whole thing and gossip and re-hash it to everyone in the village, so very few like her any more. Doesn't bother her tho, she is resigned to ignoring them for the most part if they are going to be this way. She does her best to continue to be nice to people, give them things and such, be pleasant, certainly more than I would if I were in her shoes. But no freindship or appreciation will come of it, it is just to keep the peace. When I first moved out here I had visions of having big bar-b-que's and such and inviting many neighbors and family. But my wife is just like, "I'm not having it. It's just not a good idea. You are inviting criticism and problems and not much else.They won't enjoy it they'll just be bored and complain about the whole thing for months." I have to say I seem to see her point now. Doesn't bother me either. I don't feel people are hostile, just we are rather ignored, quietly uliked and unloved I suppose. It's their loss as well, its a shame actually, but what are you going to do? I seem to remember that in the UK if you claim and use land as yours, unchallenged, for 7 years, it becomes legally yours... I would check that there is no such law in Thailand and if there is, anyone using the land should have written agreement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nithisa78 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 No. My Mrs. solution was spending more time at the Temple. Me I couldn't care less, not in Isan, not anywhere. I'm talking weeks and months. Her rules, not mine. I already feel safe. Thank you for sharing your heart. Keep the faith. It will smooth out. It always does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nithisa78 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 No more Isaan for me...Met the girl (somewhat 8 yrs ago) from a nice farmer's family...9 brothers and sisters, all working. Usual story: husband had left her and 2 children...She had taken "shark"- and other loans and bought an at that time expensive motorbike for the son, also on credit. To cut a long story short, I took care of everyting, paid back the loans, took care of her and the children, paid for everything...school care, dental care, skin care dr, eye care...etc... Meanwhile she only wanted to "show off"...had at least 10 "Mc Jeans" in the wardrobe, most expensive cloths and more. Bought a peace of land in her village and built a beautiful house. When the house was finished I decided to sell the 2 door pick-up and wanted to buy a small car so that she also could easy learn to drive. Oh no!...She became really angry...NO small car...finally I was that stupid to listen to her and the most expensive SUV appeared...She wouldn't drive it. She only wanted to show-off... I felt like I only served as the care-taker and the driver...And I got bored of it all. Then I went to the coastal side and looked around to find a nice place where we could spend some time, not too far from the sea. I also discovered that I could follow Thai lessons over there, which opportunity didn't excist in the Isaan area where we lived. And I found an old empty small house where nobody had lived in (except for termites) during 17 years...one can immagine how it looked like... But I decided to fix it up...of course that would take some time. During the works she remained in Isaan and came to visit me twice. I was still supporting her and also paid for the first year of the university for the daughter. She told me that she also found a little job and made sandwiches. Everything sounded ok so far... At a certain day, I receive a phone call from a farang living next to her village. I know him for several years. His wife left him about a year ago. He told me that my wife didn't work at all but stayed with him for 6 months already...all the time she lied about that. She played a double game and he feared that se would leave him. She also takes a monthly allowance from him for her "services". Now she wants an impossible amount of money... The case now goes to Court, in Thailand as well as in my home country... Bey bey, Isaan...I've had it. Gosh that's a terrible story. Thanks for your honesty, You know by now you did it to yourself. You were more than generous because you wanted and expected to be loved and appreciated. You got the opposite because they are not like you. You expected and believed in reciprocity..I greatly respect your patience but in the end it was "pearls before swine" You have done beyond the call of duty. Their greed has cut off their life line and now the vindictiveness has set in. I hope you will survive the damage that your faith in human decency has received. Good luck Rest assured you will more than survive your faith. Thank you for sharing. PS: Giving up isn't faith. Surrender to the Almighty, that's faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louse1953 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 No more Isaan for me...Met the girl (somewhat 8 yrs ago) from a nice farmer's family...9 brothers and sisters, all working. Usual story: husband had left her and 2 children...She had taken "shark"- and other loans and bought an at that time expensive motorbike for the son, also on credit. To cut a long story short, I took care of everyting, paid back the loans, took care of her and the children, paid for everything...school care, dental care, skin care dr, eye care...etc... Meanwhile she only wanted to "show off"...had at least 10 "Mc Jeans" in the wardrobe, most expensive cloths and more. Bought a peace of land in her village and built a beautiful house. When the house was finished I decided to sell the 2 door pick-up and wanted to buy a small car so that she also could easy learn to drive. Oh no!...She became really angry...NO small car...finally I was that stupid to listen to her and the most expensive SUV appeared...She wouldn't drive it. She only wanted to show-off... I felt like I only served as the care-taker and the driver...And I got bored of it all. Then I went to the coastal side and looked around to find a nice place where we could spend some time, not too far from the sea. I also discovered that I could follow Thai lessons over there, which opportunity didn't excist in the Isaan area where we lived. And I found an old empty small house where nobody had lived in (except for termites) during 17 years...one can immagine how it looked like... But I decided to fix it up...of course that would take some time. During the works she remained in Isaan and came to visit me twice. I was still supporting her and also paid for the first year of the university for the daughter. She told me that she also found a little job and made sandwiches. Everything sounded ok so far... At a certain day, I receive a phone call from a farang living next to her village. I know him for several years. His wife left him about a year ago. He told me that my wife didn't work at all but stayed with him for 6 months already...all the time she lied about that. She played a double game and he feared that se would leave him. She also takes a monthly allowance from him for her "services". Now she wants an impossible amount of money... The case now goes to Court, in Thailand as well as in my home country... Bey bey, Isaan...I've had it. Sorry to hear of your problems mate,but it has nothing to do with Issan.No is a hard word to say but it gets easier every time you say it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozyjon Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Finally i just left, but i do miss the guy across from me cranking his 1 million watt sound system at 4,30 am every morning, oh how i missed the Bangkok air, i'll miss you Nana, hello Hard Rock Cafe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 My wife has complained about similar things as your wife.The word seems to be, in the village, that her character has become bad, basically farangified or big citified. Seeing as they have never known any farang in their lives nor spent much time in a city, I'm not sure how they would know, but anyway, I guess we all have our theories about other people. As I see it, basically, their problem is that she isn't a doormat and they can't get much of anything they want out of her and so they complain she has a sharp tongue and is too direct and has a thousand other character flaws as well I would imagine. Basically she tells them straight out "No" when she doesn't want to do what they want her to do. As just one example, she has allowed some in-laws to fish on her land and even plant gardens for years without charge. Then one day nearly 2 years ago, the in-law family honcho is over to our house, nice enough but being a bit overbearing and pushy and says, "You need to understand something, we have been the ones who are working on that land. And we want to use the land as collateral for a bank loan. That land is as much ours as yours." She's like, "Nothing doing! Who do you think you are? Are you kidding me? Get out of here!" He persisted for weeks with his officious manner, coming round to our place, "We need to set up another meeting to discuss this. We need to have those papers, as we're going into town soon to apply for the loan." She's like, "Youre <deleted> preposterous, dood! There's nothing to discuss! You're not going to hand my land over to the bank because you want to go on a gambling spree or what have you!" She lets them continue to use the land but it seems she is now resented for not also letting them tell the bank that the land's theirs. She just shrugs it off that they don't like her any more for refusing to cooperate on things like this. What can you do about people who are so demanding and unreasonable and who consequently don't like you because you won't just give them anything and everything they ask when they want it? And of course they exaggerate the whole thing and gossip and re-hash it to everyone in the village, so very few like her any more. Doesn't bother her tho, she is resigned to ignoring them for the most part if they are going to be this way. She does her best to continue to be nice to people, give them things and such, be pleasant, certainly more than I would if I were in her shoes. But no freindship or appreciation will come of it, it is just to keep the peace. When I first moved out here I had visions of having big bar-b-que's and such and inviting many neighbors and family. But my wife is just like, "I'm not having it. It's just not a good idea. You are inviting criticism and problems and not much else.They won't enjoy it they'll just be bored and complain about the whole thing for months." I have to say I seem to see her point now. Doesn't bother me either. I don't feel people are hostile, just we are rather ignored, quietly uliked and unloved I suppose. It's their loss as well, its a shame actually, but what are you going to do? Funny you say that about the bbq :-) I had similar visions and my wife waived me off for the same reasons urs did. I can see what a ludicrous fiasco it would have turned out to be. The usual lao Kao swilling back slappers and cadgers. U'd be stuck with them for a week. Like u said the people that we know have gossiped about us, it is their loss. I wouldn't lift a finger to help them in anyway, and whilst I don't encourage budgers I'll help anyone in real need. One of the main gossipers calling us kie nok (bird sht) has never met or spoken to myself or my wife and ives in a dirty rat hole I doubt she's ever lifted a finger to clean. Like I said to my missus, no need to defend urself against someone like that. It all speaks for itself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterphil Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Ive never understood why anyone would want to live in a rural village in Thailand. Beyond me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 Ive never understood why anyone would want to live in a rural village in Thailand. Beyond me. I can see it wouldn't be for everyone but equally I couldn't see myself living in Khonkaen, Bkk or Udon. I love going to those cities for a bit of farang life now and then but a day or 2 and I'm wanting back here. It's my home same as if I were born here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterphil Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Ive never understood why anyone would want to live in a rural village in Thailand. Beyond me. I can see it wouldn't be for everyone but equally I couldn't see myself living in Khonkaen, Bkk or Udon. I love going to those cities for a bit of farang life now and then but a day or 2 and I'm wanting back here. It's my home same as if I were born here I live in Na-Jomtien. I have the quiet life where I am and if I need a City, Pattaya's 15 minutes away. Best of both worlds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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