KonaRain Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 double post..reloaded aloha. hurticanes bearing down on us in Hawaii..gotta control my thoughts methinks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 double post..reloaded aloha. hurticanes bearing down on us in Hawaii..gotta control my thoughts methinks time for your medication Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KonaRain Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Turmeric is the only medicine I take..that and coffee.. check out Hawaiian hurricane photos.. 3_400 miles across.. smarty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nithisa78 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Pressure is self induced froma weak psychology. When you are vitally interested in fully understanding something, you give your mind and heart, withholding nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Villagefarang Not everyone has a budget large enough for that kind of set up. Also some wouldn't like to be so isolated. personally I would love to build something similar in a semi remote peaceful area but unless you can buy all of the surrounding land guaranteed someone will build next to you. From your pictures I don't think your "village life" has much in common with the OP's There is still all the normal gossip, noise, customs and traditions. I am just suggesting that it is not mandatory for one live like the poorest person in the village. It is possible to occupy a different niche in the village ecosystem. I assure you we were the subject of gossip and questions for the first few years but learned how to change the subject and deflect. Village life doesn’t have to be terrible. Unless you're a foreigner with a house impressing them all, the gossip is pretty bad. I'm not sure whether or not you speak the language, but if you do I'm sure you know it can be pretty bad and quite stressful for the wife. I wouldn't have a problem living there myself, actually. I moved because my wife couldn't take it anymore. That being said, it all depends on the village in question. They are all different, and some are worse than others. I heard on several occasions that I was about to go back to Norway, as "someone overheard" a conversation between my wife and myself about me being out of money – a conversation that never took place. Add some family problems and the "friends" who start creating problems whenever you also have "other friends", and it turns pretty unlivable. Unless you're both islands, of course. I wouldn't advise people to build a house in the village of the wife. 20–40 km away would be perfect, in my mind. Close enough to visit without a problem, far enough away to give you peace of mind. And no intrusive family making your life hard with impossible demands. It certainly doesn't hurt being able to escape, if just for a short while. Funny the three people we have identified as the gossips have never met us or spoken to us. Maybe it's a cry for attention. Our builders, who have become close friends, a husband and wife and the most honest lovely people u could meet told us a story yesterday . She was sitting in a village eatery and one woman was sprouting off about us to all who would listen. My wife doesn't take care her family, I'm kie neow and don't really have any money, I'm not friendly and have no respect for the locals. We've never met the woman and even my wife doesn't know of her? The builders wife climbed into her belittling her in front of everyone telling her she had no idea what she was talking about. She asked her had she ever met us and she admitted no, but she had heard the "stories". She told her they come to our house often to eat and we take care of everything and told her of the sizeable tip I gave them after they finished work with us. She told them of the gifts we give her kids for birthdays etc. She told her tgat we select our friends, and thats clearly why she wasnt one of them. I can only guess these people are so malicious to appear as if "they are in the know". I actually pity her for when the next time my missus bumps into her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Turmeric is the only medicine I take..that and coffee.. check out Hawaiian hurricane photos.. 3_400 miles across.. smarty! Sorry. Sounded like you'd drunk too much coffee :-) Been through hurricanes myself in Northern QLD in Australia. Take care and best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KonaRain Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Kenny..great story.. >>quote above.. keep up the good..tell 'Dr no to worry..does no good.. Aloha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gk10002000 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 "Good Fences Make Good Neighbors" Mending Wall, Robert Frost, American Poet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmerjo Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 If you and your wife start showing up at the wat regularly on the Buddhist days, your respect in the village will grow. People will begin to recognize you at the morning market. I don't attend regularly as much as my wife does but many of the villagers have taken notice and appreciate my involvement. And Buddhism is a good thing to learn about especially if your going to live here. Agreed,I dont go but help with construction every now and then. Your missus will get her name over the local noisebox in the morning and it will give the naysayers something else to talk about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggusoil Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I suspect the dogs are trying to make a statement. Well they certainly are giving him the shits aren't they! The thing with the dog shit is, I was always amazed when I first came to the village that I never saw any dog shit from any of the six dogs of 5 houses of our extended family. I never even saw a dog taking a dump for years and was shocked when I first encountered it. I regret to say I have never got to the bottom of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 I suspect the dogs are trying to make a statement. Well they certainly are giving him the shits aren't they! The thing with the dog shit is, I was always amazed when I first came to the village that I never saw any dog shit from any of the six dogs of 5 houses of our extended family. I never even saw a dog taking a dump for years and was shocked when I first encountered it. I regret to say I have never got to the bottom of this. Your mission should you choose to accept it! Go under cover. Ass sniffing and pursuit. Diligence and perserverance will unlock the mystery. The soi dogs around our area are so thin and starving I doubt they have excess bodilly waste. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linzz Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I suspect the dogs are trying to make a statement. Well they certainly are giving him the shits aren't they! The thing with the dog shit is, I was always amazed when I first came to the village that I never saw any dog shit from any of the six dogs of 5 houses of our extended family. I never even saw a dog taking a dump for years and was shocked when I first encountered it. I regret to say I have never got to the bottom of this. I think you would really regret it if you did, you'd be washing your hand for a week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villagefarang Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Villagefarang Not everyone has a budget large enough for that kind of set up. Also some wouldn't like to be so isolated. personally I would love to build something similar in a semi remote peaceful area but unless you can buy all of the surrounding land guaranteed someone will build next to you. From your pictures I don't think your "village life" has much in common with the OP's There is still all the normal gossip, noise, customs and traditions. I am just suggesting that it is not mandatory for one live like the poorest person in the village. It is possible to occupy a different niche in the village ecosystem. I assure you we were the subject of gossip and questions for the first few years but learned how to change the subject and deflect. Village life doesn’t have to be terrible. Unless you're a foreigner with a house impressing them all, the gossip is pretty bad. I'm not sure whether or not you speak the language, but if you do I'm sure you know it can be pretty bad and quite stressful for the wife. I wouldn't have a problem living there myself, actually. I moved because my wife couldn't take it anymore. That being said, it all depends on the village in question. They are all different, and some are worse than others. I heard on several occasions that I was about to go back to Norway, as "someone overheard" a conversation between my wife and myself about me being out of money – a conversation that never took place. Add some family problems and the "friends" who start creating problems whenever you also have "other friends", and it turns pretty unlivable. Unless you're both islands, of course. I wouldn't advise people to build a house in the village of the wife. 20–40 km away would be perfect, in my mind. Close enough to visit without a problem, far enough away to give you peace of mind. And no intrusive family making your life hard with impossible demands. It certainly doesn't hurt being able to escape, if just for a short while. You are so right when you say it depends on the village. I am shocked when people paint all villages with the same brush. Each village in our area is different and has its own personality so to speak. This area was homesteaded in the time of my wife’s grandparents so most villages are Northern Thais from various places in the North. There are also villages with a distinct Isaan flavor as they were settled by people from further south. The nearest hill tribe villages are maybe 20 km away. Some villages are neat and the houses and yards well maintained while others are neglected and an eyesore. A lot depends on the local leadership and the affluence of the farmers and businessmen in that area. I suspect a lot of foreigners end up in desperate villages with desperate people because of how and where they met their partners. If people meet through more traditional methods of school, work or friends I am guessing things might not be so bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reghwd Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Nñ ķ m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Well guys you can't really knock the villagers for getting a little bored and discussing people of interest We have a quite few on Tvisa who apparently are quite happy to spend time and effort discussing and commenting on dog shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Thing is, always believe in karma and try to see the funny side as there usually is one One of the most vociferous people (a relative) who frequently told everyone who would listen that my wife and children should not be living with my mother In law built a very modest home nearby When my wife had finished building I wanted to contribute, I wanted to make the house homely, did not want my wife looking at cement walls as she had in the house of her mother for years, so I went out bought primer, paint (colour chosen by my wife and children a soft grey for the external thankfully) rollers and brushes ready to set about painting the house While in town the children and I decided to buy a new fridge for their mother, as we could hardly take the old one and leave mother in law with nothing! A day into the painting task true to form my brother in law and son arrived to assist, which was welcome, in 3 days we had 2 coats of primer and two coats of paint inside and out I was well pleased A day later the daughter of the vociferous relative arrived with her husband and disappeared into town returning with a new fridge A week later somebody came to paint their house The observant sister of my wife asked what she planned next - laughing at the antics of the vociferous relative When the house was completed my wife cooked outside and we decided, as have others, that this was the way to go so we planned to build a covered area for cooking at the side of the house. On hearing this the vociferous relative had the builders in and built an additional covered area for cooking My wife has just completed our kitchen area it looks good and workable, but also looks as though you could park a truck in there, and could almost be mistaken for a car port I think my wife has a sense of humour Shortly my wife will be having internet installed I am looking at a big screen TV Life in the village can be fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fang37 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 The pressures are beyond understanding. a) wake up in the morning - anytime is OK never more than 3 farts before noon c) a nap in the afternoon d) turning on the TV - exhausted by now e) wifey serves a meal of grasshoppers & insects f) regular servicing duties of wifey & any stray dogs g) never forget the angina pills Just too much for an average Joe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny202 Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Thing is, always believe in karma and try to see the funny side as there usually is one One of the most vociferous people (a relative) who frequently told everyone who would listen that my wife and children should not be living with my mother In law built a very modest home nearby When my wife had finished building I wanted to contribute, I wanted to make the house homely, did not want my wife looking at cement walls as she had in the house of her mother for years, so I went out bought primer, paint (colour chosen by my wife and children a soft grey for the external thankfully) rollers and brushes ready to set about painting the house While in town the children and I decided to buy a new fridge for their mother, as we could hardly take the old one and leave mother in law with nothing! A day into the painting task true to form my brother in law and son arrived to assist, which was welcome, in 3 days we had 2 coats of primer and two coats of paint inside and out I was well pleased A day later the daughter of the vociferous relative arrived with her husband and disappeared into town returning with a new fridge A week later somebody came to paint their house The observant sister of my wife asked what she planned next - laughing at the antics of the vociferous relative When the house was completed my wife cooked outside and we decided, as have others, that this was the way to go so we planned to build a covered area for cooking at the side of the house. On hearing this the vociferous relative had the builders in and built an additional covered area for cooking My wife has just completed our kitchen area it looks good and workable, but also looks as though you could park a truck in there, and could almost be mistaken for a car port I think my wife has a sense of humour Shortly my wife will be having internet installed I am looking at a big screen TV Life in the village can be fun What you probably don't realise is the old boy had a deal with the tradesman worked your home. Charge you 200% and go and do his work for free haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linzz Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Thing is, always believe in karma and try to see the funny side as there usually is one One of the most vociferous people (a relative) who frequently told everyone who would listen that my wife and children should not be living with my mother In law built a very modest home nearby When my wife had finished building I wanted to contribute, I wanted to make the house homely, did not want my wife looking at cement walls as she had in the house of her mother for years, so I went out bought primer, paint (colour chosen by my wife and children a soft grey for the external thankfully) rollers and brushes ready to set about painting the house While in town the children and I decided to buy a new fridge for their mother, as we could hardly take the old one and leave mother in law with nothing! A day into the painting task true to form my brother in law and son arrived to assist, which was welcome, in 3 days we had 2 coats of primer and two coats of paint inside and out I was well pleased A day later the daughter of the vociferous relative arrived with her husband and disappeared into town returning with a new fridge A week later somebody came to paint their house The observant sister of my wife asked what she planned next - laughing at the antics of the vociferous relative When the house was completed my wife cooked outside and we decided, as have others, that this was the way to go so we planned to build a covered area for cooking at the side of the house. On hearing this the vociferous relative had the builders in and built an additional covered area for cooking My wife has just completed our kitchen area it looks good and workable, but also looks as though you could park a truck in there, and could almost be mistaken for a car port I think my wife has a sense of humour Shortly my wife will be having internet installed I am looking at a big screen TV Life in the village can be fun Imitation is the highest form of flattery! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 What you probably don't realise is the old boy had a deal with the tradesman worked your home. Charge you 200% and go and do his work for free haha No way Kenny, tradesmen hired must be more expensive not cheap same farang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissables Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 For those who can't understand why someone would live in a Thai village, here are a few of my reasons. I should acknowledge that I live in a village 55 km from Chiang Rai so I am not in Isaan. The front yard, the house, sunset by the pond and birds in the field. Want a lodger? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SantiSuk Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Re Jabpharma's personal experience post Love Isaan, love my family. Happy to support them and I have often waxed lyrical about life here. But ...... who can say what will happen in any relationship these days. I have not had a relationship for at least 20 years where I could not walk away at a moment's notice still smiling financially!* Never never ever ever put all you financial eggs in one basket. It's not just a rule for Isaan/Thailand. Even those of us who are happily married need to have sight of such bad luck tales, so well done for posting so openly fellah! Hope you can still find another good relationship. I would hate to get into a position where my experience inclined me towards part-time rentals only. If things fell tits up for me I can honestly say I would go round again in SE Asia (I think) *This one is the first involving kids (mine too despite my dotage). It just makes it even more important not to over-commit financially during the rearing years - you are still going to need to support your child if you want to die happy - perhaps independently living from her mother in later teens and beyond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ableguy Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 This is a great post. We live in a small new village in Korat but have all the same problems, jealousy, Thai wives asking my gf to find them a farang, one neighbour has a sister with five kids, married but asks us to find a farang for her. One neighbour thinks we should run her daughter to school and back a round trip of 30 k simply because we have two cars, a truck for me a fiesta for the gf. We are constantly being set up or people trying to set us up with sob stories that always end by asking to borrow money, without the slightest prospect of ever being repaid. My gf keeps telling me don't cut these people off or we will never have any friends ,myself I don't need friends like this but I keep my mouth shut as she needs people to chat to even though she does not trust them, such is life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTrip Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Ableguy Interesting you mention "new village" as my mind's eye has pictured throughout this thread a traditional Isaan farmers village similar to where my wife's family live. Does everyone picture the farming village when reading the OP? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
streboris Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Yeah I picture the medevil farming village where I'm the only person with a chair... Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taichiplanet Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 i picture myself in an Issan village sitting in me rockin' chair, playin' the banjo and a shotgun propped up against the wall. The crazy farang routine should stop most approaches to borrow something and give the gossips something interesting to talk about. Only joking of course; i can't play the banjo. BTW, love the topic and all the varied replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eliotness Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 i picture myself in an Issan village sitting in me rockin' chair, playin' the banjo and a shotgun propped up against the wall. The crazy farang routine should stop most approaches to borrow something and give the gossips something interesting to talk about. Only joking of course; i can't play the banjo. BTW, love the topic and all the varied replies. As long as you don't hear "dualling banjos" and pigs squealing. Just the thought brings a smile at how the locals in my village would react to me sat on the patio with a 12 gauge propped up against the wall !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DILLIGAD Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 i picture myself in an Issan village sitting in me rockin' chair, playin' the banjo and a shotgun propped up against the wall. The crazy farang routine should stop most approaches to borrow something and give the gossips something interesting to talk about. Only joking of course; i can't play the banjo. BTW, love the topic and all the varied replies. As long as you don't hear "dualling banjos" and pigs squealing. Just the thought brings a smile at how the locals in my village would react to me sat on the patio with a 12 gauge propped up against the wall !!! They"d want to borrow it and bring it back when it's broken or out of ammo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostinisaan Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 This is a great post. We live in a small new village in Korat but have all the same problems, jealousy, Thai wives asking my gf to find them a farang, one neighbour has a sister with five kids, married but asks us to find a farang for her. One neighbour thinks we should run her daughter to school and back a round trip of 30 k simply because we have two cars, a truck for me a fiesta for the gf. We are constantly being set up or people trying to set us up with sob stories that always end by asking to borrow money, without the slightest prospect of ever being repaid. My gf keeps telling me don't cut these people off or we will never have any friends ,myself I don't need friends like this but I keep my mouth shut as she needs people to chat to even though she does not trust them, such is life. If you're not able to communicate in a relationship, it's already a dead one. What your neighbor thinks, or what not is irrelevant for you and your family. Would the shit hit the fan and it usually happens sooner, or later, how much help would the neighbors provide? In almost all villages are van services who bring the kids to school and back. You could help financially, if the relationship's really a great one, but......................some people like to use others. That's it. Friends do not use friends. A friendship is great, but it has to come from both sides. Don't let them think that you're stupid, problem # one.. I'm not a freshy here, so please hear me out. Do not keep your mouth shut and confront her with your thoughts. Thai women are in no way different to others from so called " more developed countries." She doesn't trust these people, but wants you to help them? Doesn't make much sense to me. My wife, married since almost 15 years is a little different. She doesn't give a flying shit about other peoples' problems, if they're not genuine. And here's the message. If you're not able to talk about everything with your partner, then you won't be successful. No matter where you're living on this planet, you have to have something in common, to talk about everything that might be a problem, talk about how and what you think, see the people who surround you for who they really are and not what they're pretending to be. Life's really too short to not enjoy each minute of it. We never know when we have to go and that's good so. Try to get your relationship in order and you'll see if she's with you, or not. It's never too late to focus on something new, maybe in another province/ country. Wish you good luck to sort all out. Your wife isn't married to any of your neighbors, isn't she? ( I truly hope not) You're not a walking ATM machine, nor are you the guy who's got to solve all the other guys' problems. Enjoy life, that's all. Cheers- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villagefarang Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 This is a great post. We live in a small new village in Korat but have all the same problems, jealousy, Thai wives asking my gf to find them a farang, one neighbour has a sister with five kids, married but asks us to find a farang for her. One neighbour thinks we should run her daughter to school and back a round trip of 30 k simply because we have two cars, a truck for me a fiesta for the gf. We are constantly being set up or people trying to set us up with sob stories that always end by asking to borrow money, without the slightest prospect of ever being repaid. My gf keeps telling me don't cut these people off or we will never have any friends ,myself I don't need friends like this but I keep my mouth shut as she needs people to chat to even though she does not trust them, such is life. It is not just that she needs people to chat to. There is a lot of interdependency and reciprocity in a rural Thai community. They don’t exist as islands, like many Farangs do. Things like weddings, funerals and other activities require the participation of the entire village and if you alienate everyone your wife will really suffer somewhere down the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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