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Sin Sod - An Explanation

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My girlfriend work as a nurse at Siriraj. We been together 4 year, living together 3 years. Her mom want us to get engaged 17th this month (in combination with her mom's retirement party). Her mother have stated the terms "no sin sod. The mom pay engagement party- I pay the rings. I pay the wedding- the mom will provide the fake sin sod. Her mother is a high school teacher and her dad is chief commander in the air force.

Edited by Hawkup2000

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I paid 150,000 BT,a couple of days after the wedding had finished, the inlaws gave us back 50,000 bt,but i declined the offer and told them to keep it.

Also i bought me a 5 baht gold chain,and my wife a 3 baht gold chain,and a 2 baht gold bracelet so 10 baht all in all.

nearly forgetting the 18carrot 4crt diamond ring for her.

And no i wasnt told by her parents YOU MUST PAY ME such and such,when i asked mum and dad ,said UP TO YOU :)

Edited by yeesipha

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In answer to the question of how much sinsod was given.

I handed over 200k bht.

Half was given back to my wife, most of the rest went on the wedding party.

I also gave my wife 8 bht of gold as a present.

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When my wife and I got married 3 years ago in Udon, it was a very special time for us both, so we "went all out" for the wedding. I did pay for everything, but it was what I wanted. I bought mom and dad necklaces (1 baht each) and 4 baht of jewelry for my wife. I gave my in-laws 200,000 baht in which we all agreed they would give all back except for 40,000. My wife and I used the money we got back on our honeymoon.

Now there are many things a person must consider other than a dowry. Like I said before, we went all out for our wedding so we ROCKED the village. We paid for a concert at mom and dads. My idea. We bought so much food it was unbelievable. We have 2 bulls and 1 pig butchered. We went to the market to get vegetables and literally filled up the bed of a Toyota truck. We also bought 30 boxes of different beers and 24 half pints of whiskey. (As you can see, I wanted to have a good time) The concert was a sucess. We had about 300 people show up for the morning ceremony and about 500 for the evening ceremony/celebration. We all had a GREAT time. The wedding (concert, food, beer) cost us about $6,000.

Before my wife and I got married, I paid to have a well dug and pipes run throughout the house so that mom and dad didn't have to rely on rain for water. Before my wife moved to the US with me I paid the remaining mortage on their house, 100,000 baht. We send money if Mom and Dad need it, but I have made it clear that my wifes brothers and sisters are able to help also.

I will say that my wife is the youngest daughter so, as you may know, she was responsible for taking care of her parents who are in their 70's now and not in prime health. I have accepted her Mom and Dad as my own and ANYONE getting married should do the same. If you can't trust your in-laws, why get married?

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Its an old Asian tradition that bridegrooms helps care for his parents in law - in the old days that young lady you are marrying was a "pair of hands on the farm" (i.e. labour), helping to plant the rice, helping to harvest it ........ she was also the part of the her parents old age "insurance policy".

Sin Sot was a recognition of that practical value, and a gesture on the bridegrooms part to recognize and take on that responsibility i.e. that you took their welfare to heart.

Times have moved on and while many of the values behind these traditional practises may still hold true (if you appreciate and accept old fashioned family values), the practical circumstances which made sense of them then, are no longer the lot of the average Thai family.

There is no yes/no or right/wrong answer - each and every Sin/Sot is as unique as the relationship and the circumstances that surround it.

Edited by Maizefarmer

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