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lostinisaan

Why You Seldom Find DELETED On The Isaan Forum.......

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Most Farang - Thai relationships have a starting point called Pattaya. There are Farangs, that realize that Pattaya is a "Freak-Show" far removed from reality and leave for the sticks. It appears to me, that this decision works out quite well for most Farangs.

But let's face it: Sometimes things don't evolve as expected. Worst case: Farang want's out of something that has turned into an "unpleasant situation." Only to realize, that by trying to get out of this "unpleasant situation" will usually mean a loss of invested money ranging from 100% to 50%. Such a loss. in many cases, would make it impossible to maintain a comfortable lifestyle for the Farang in the future.

Sometimes it may be the better solution to remain in this "unpleasant situation" =wearing some golden chains around the ankles, instead of.......

Fortunately, this is rather the exception than the rule. Isn't it?

Cheers.

There are people and there are people. some of them decide to live in the real Thailand.

Some of them decide to live in "Fun City, which has not much to do with Thailand at all. But we're all different and guys who holiday since 30 years in Thailand only know the massage parlour places and the bars in Soi 8, 9 and the Go, or no go go bars in Walking Street.

Of course will those guys disagree with me who try to get a cheap ride at Beach Raod after the good ones are already taken. Don't worry. thumbsup.gif

It's more an artificial world, made for artificial people. ( Frank Zappa called them "plastic people).....smile.png

How the heck can you have a family in Pattaya, let the kids grow up in such an unreal world with airborne Ping Pong Balls, underage bar girls with 99-year-old farang and some of them are pretty much Ding Dong Farang?

But a very good excuse are all the farang restaurants, right? My wife makes much better farang food you'd never find in this shithole.

And guess what? I'll never fall off a balcony, nor will ladyboys try to kick my balls and rob me. Maybe vice verse? bah.gif

maybe you need to pop a tolerance pill.

everyone doesn't have the same life project as you, i.e. finding a wife and making a family.

some are gay, some like ladyboys, some have their family behind them already, some don't want one wife, but live with two or more girlfriends at the same time, who knows...

a different lifestyle doesn't make all of them bad people, although I agree that there is a higher risk of them being "problem people".

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Maybe StuckinIsaan is a more apt name for you judging by the basis of your topic?

Talk about being so obviously pi$$ed off with life cheesy.gif

Seems you are so annoyed at your own life that you are not at all thriiled that others are happy with their lot.

It may have escaped you that not everyone likes the same kind of lifestyle. Is there something wrong with people living different to you being happy?

And no I dont live in the countryside.

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Maybe StuckinIsaan is a more apt name for you judging by the basis of your topic?

Talk about being so obviously pi$$ed off with life cheesy.gif

Seems you are so annoyed at your own life that you are not at all thriiled that others are happy with their lot.

It may have escaped you that not everyone likes the same kind of lifestyle. Is there something wrong with people living different to you being happy?

And no I dont live in the countryside.

"It may have escaped you that not everyone likes the same kind of lifestyle"

It may have but it didn't coffee1.gif

maybe you should also aim your thoughts to the OP as it seems it his him that is so wound up about how other people live?

Just so you know, i respect anybody living the life they want to lead, which is the main reason that me reply in the 1st place to the original post.

You are accusing me of something the OP is guilty of. Put the chang down and get yourself off to bed

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Guys, nowhere is perfect..well I lived in San Diego for years which is close to perfect, except hugely expensive, but I digress

There are always those folks who will end up miserable wherever they end up. Yep I've met a few up here who hated it, but they tend not to last long. Yes there are also some who plow their life savings into a life here, sight unseen, only to have their visions of a rural idyll shattered. It's impossible, and unrealistic to generalize. That being said, those who do survive and flourish do, IMHO tend to be a little more grounded than those in other parts of Thailand.

I've said this before, be in general I also find that the ones who do flourish are natural loners..loners whether they are living in backofbeyond Thailand, or to take me for example lived in downtown San Diego.

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Guys, nowhere is perfect..well I lived in San Diego for years which is close to perfect, except hugely expensive, but I digress

There are always those folks who will end up miserable wherever they end up. Yep I've met a few up here who hated it, but they tend not to last long. Yes there are also some who plow their life savings into a life here, sight unseen, only to have their visions of a rural idyll shattered. It's impossible, and unrealistic to generalize. That being said, those who do survive and flourish do, IMHO tend to be a little more grounded than those in other parts of Thailand.

I've said this before, be in general I also find that the ones who do flourish are natural loners..loners whether they are living in backofbeyond Thailand, or to take me for example lived in downtown San Diego.

I would say, the ones who flourish are ' live aloners' rather than 'loners'.

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Having lived up here for over 10 years, but not out in the sticks, I can assure you that not every farang is as happy as they tell you they are.

Met a girl wherever, it is not important, and eventually talked into buying or building a house in the village to 'live the dream'.

Eventually, like everywhere, after a period of time, the novelty wears off. With very limited conversation, no westerners near, or if fluent in Thai, no Thai person to have a meaningful conversation with, their best friend (or even their only friend) becomes the computer.

Now we are so critical about Thais with the 'losing face' issue (none more so than me), but now the farang is in a similar situation. He now has no alternative to the village life, cannot sell the house, no funds to relocate, but he will never tell other westerners or Thais that he does not like it, because he himself will 'lose face'. So he will tell everyone how great life is in Nakhon Nowhere, but deep down he is quite, if not very, lonely. As the internet speed is not up to scratch, he would not even be able to access a decent western television package, and have to rely on You Tube for visual entertainment.

So next time you hear somebody say how great their idyllic life is in Isaan, bear in mind they might not be telling the true story.

Even if they visit one of the bigger cities up here for a couple of nights, it isn't the same as it was years ago.

I suppose there's some truth to what you wrote but there's a lot I didn't agree with.

Above all, I have to say I found your comment that you can't find a Thai person to have a meaningful conversation with offensive and simply untrue.

What you wrote about some people sinking large sums of money into a house or a large chunk of land only to discover that they are unhappily married or ill-suited for country life and can't easily recoup their investment in property is certainly true, but in my experience most of those people bail out sooner rather than later. With rental properties for 5,000-10,000 baht a month readily available all over Thailand, I don't think that as many people are as financially trapped in rural Thailand as your post suggests.

As far as your "saving face" comments, I'm confused. On one hand you say foreigners live in such isolation that there are no other foreigners in the area, and then you portray these same same foreigners as putting on a brave face to the foreigners they meet. If they're living in such isolation, who are they "saving face" with? Thais who they can't have a meaningful conversation with?

I thought your comment about having to rely on U-tube for entertainment might be somewhat dated. To the best of my knowledge True Visions cable is available throughout Thailand.

Bottom line is that in my experience most guys living long-term out in the countryside seem to me to be reasonably content. In my opinion, the keys to successful rural living are:

(1) fluency in Thai,

(2) staying active and having a sense of purpose in life (family/hobbies/work/community involvement) and,

(3) having a strong sense of who you are, and enjoying your own company.

Those who don't like or can't adjust to rural life seem to develop drinking or health problems, get divorced, die in automobile accidents, or otherwise move, either elsewhere in Thailand or back home.

I've never met anyone in rural Thailand who I suspected was pretending to like rural living when they really hated it. Most who aren't happy are quite vocal about it and aren't shy about letting people know how they feel.

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Having lived up here for over 10 years, but not out in the sticks, I can assure you that not every farang is as happy as they tell you they are.

Met a girl wherever, it is not important, and eventually talked into buying or building a house in the village to 'live the dream'.

Eventually, like everywhere, after a period of time, the novelty wears off. With very limited conversation, no westerners near, or if fluent in Thai, no Thai person to have a meaningful conversation with, their best friend (or even their only friend) becomes the computer.

Now we are so critical about Thais with the 'losing face' issue (none more so than me), but now the farang is in a similar situation. He now has no alternative to the village life, cannot sell the house, no funds to relocate, but he will never tell other westerners or Thais that he does not like it, because he himself will 'lose face'. So he will tell everyone how great life is in Nakhon Nowhere, but deep down he is quite, if not very, lonely. As the internet speed is not up to scratch, he would not even be able to access a decent western television package, and have to rely on You Tube for visual entertainment.

So next time you hear somebody say how great their idyllic life is in Isaan, bear in mind they might not be telling the true story.

Even if they visit one of the bigger cities up here for a couple of nights, it isn't the same as it was years ago.

I suppose there's some truth to what you wrote but there's a lot I didn't agree with.

Above all, I have to say I found your comment that you can't find a Thai person to have a meaningful conversation with offensive and simply untrue.

What you wrote about some people sinking large sums of money into a house or a large chunk of land only to discover that they are unhappily married or ill-suited for country life and can't easily recoup their investment in property is certainly true, but in my experience most of those people bail out sooner rather than later. With rental properties for 5,000-10,000 baht a month readily available all over Thailand, I don't think that as many people are as financially trapped in rural Thailand as your post suggests.

As far as your "saving face" comments, I'm confused. On one hand you say foreigners live in such isolation that there are no other foreigners in the area, and then you portray these same same foreigners as putting on a brave face to the foreigners they meet. If they're living in such isolation, who are they "saving face" with? Thais who they can't have a meaningful conversation with?

I thought your comment about having to rely on U-tube for entertainment might be somewhat dated. To the best of my knowledge True Visions cable is available throughout Thailand.

Bottom line is that in my experience most guys living long-term out in the countryside seem to me to be reasonably content. In my opinion, the keys to successful rural living are:

(1) fluency in Thai,

(2) staying active and having a sense of purpose in life (family/hobbies/work/community involvement) and,

(3) having a strong sense of who you are, and enjoying your own company.

Those who don't like or can't adjust to rural life seem to develop drinking or health problems, get divorced, die in automobile accidents, or otherwise move, either elsewhere in Thailand or back home.

I've never met anyone in rural Thailand who I suspected was pretending to like rural living when they really hated it. Most who aren't happy are quite vocal about it and aren't shy about letting people know how they feel.

I don't think my comment about meaningful conversation is offensive offensive at all.

Western people, most of whom read newspapers or show an interest in current affairs, form opinions about what they read or hear, and it normally becomes a general topic of conversation. ISIS, Putin vs Turkey, politics, financial news, the list is endless. Show me one Thai person in a normal village (And I am not being disrespectful) with whom you can discusses such matters on a day to day business.

From an early age, Thais are only taught to learn about things that affect them directly, in fact very few, know much about Thai history, because it happened before their time so why show an interest ? In my 25 years experience I have met and drank with many Thais, and really enjoyed most of it. However, apart from the Thailand they know, or something like football, it can be difficult to take the conversation to the next level.

As far as walking away from the invested assets and going back tto the single life, firstly, financially some people, maybe living on a basic state pension, simply cannot afford to rent, that was the idea behind investing in the house in the first place. And secondly, you would be very surprised at how many simply cannot look after themselves. Everyday chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry are not things they have had to deal with before,so now, at a later stage in life, how can they cope ?

By the way, my comments are not assumptions, I was in a position where I spoke with westerners, from all walks of life, on a daily basis, for nearly ten years. I was someone they could talk to in confidence, and believe me, some of their experiences and stories were difficult to take in, but all I could do was offer friendship and support.

I must stress that I am only talking about some of the people, not all. I have met many, probably like yourself, who are more than happy with life up here.

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I don't think my comment about meaningful conversation is offensive offensive at all.

Western people, most of whom read newspapers or show an interest in current affairs, form opinions about what they read or hear, and it normally becomes a general topic of conversation. ISIS, Putin vs Turkey, politics, financial news, the list is endless. Show me one Thai person in a normal village (And I am not being disrespectful) with whom you can discusses such matters on a day to day business.

From an early age, Thais are only taught to learn about things that affect them directly, in fact very few, know much about Thai history, because it happened before their time so why show an interest ? In my 25 years experience I have met and drank with many Thais, and really enjoyed most of it. However, apart from the Thailand they know, or something like football, it can be difficult to take the conversation to the next level.

As far as walking away from the invested assets and going back tto the single life, firstly, financially some people, maybe living on a basic state pension, simply cannot afford to rent, that was the idea behind investing in the house in the first place. And secondly, you would be very surprised at how many simply cannot look after themselves. Everyday chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry are not things they have had to deal with before,so now, at a later stage in life, how can they cope ?

By the way, my comments are not assumptions, I was in a position where I spoke with westerners, from all walks of life, on a daily basis, for nearly ten years. I was someone they could talk to in confidence, and believe me, some of their experiences and stories were difficult to take in, but all I could do was offer friendship and support.

I must stress that I am only talking about some of the people, not all. I have met many, probably like yourself, who are more than happy with life up here.

Have you watched Thai language TV news recently? The exact same international news subjects are broadcast on Thai language news as on English language news. Terrorism, Syrian refugees, the Russian airliner bombing, global warming, the Paris attacks, Chinese activity in the South China Sea, mudslides in Myanmar, the killing of that lion in Africa? All covered on Thai TV. I've discussed many of these subjects along with monetary policy, deflation/inflation, stock market bubbles, exchange rates, parenting issues, recipies, gardening, pet care, drug abuse, prostitution, Buddhism, health issues, medical care with plenty of Thais, including neighbors, teachers at my school, students, my dentist, nurses, bank tellers, even market vendors.

"Meaningful" is a very subjective term, but Thais do know what's going on in the world, and to suggest otherwise is unfair. My momma always told me only boring people get bored. Sure, I can't discuss these subjects with every Thai, but I know plenty of farangs who seem disinterested in current events and never read newspapers much less books as well. smile.png

"Most Thais are only taught to learn about things that affect them directly?" Where are you getting this stuff? It sounds like a very dated stereotype to me. Not all, but many, high school students are far more aware of what is going on in the world today than even just a few years ago. They're on the internet and social media, exposed to friends and relatives living overseas, etc. For example, I've seen Facebook posts from Thai friends about Mexican cartel violence and comparing Thailand's antiquated rail lines to bullet trains in other countries.

Guys who can't look after themselves? Can't do laundry, sweep the floor or cook? Can't afford a 5,000-10,000baht/month rent? I'm sure anyone in that boat is in an unenviable position and quite vulnerable. I know there are guys like that out there, but I don't think that many of them are hiding out in Isaan or in rural Thailand. Everybody's experience is different, but I just don't see that type of individual lasting very long in rural Thailand. Most long timers here are married, have either a step family or kids with their wife, stay physically active, own a 4-wheeled vehicle, are reasonably financially solid. I don't know how much money they have in the bank, but at least no one's asking me for a loan. smile.png

And just one other point. The foreign guys who really hit skid row (true destitution, homeless, panhandling) aren't wandering the streets of Nakhon Nowhere. They're found wandering along Beach Road in Pattaya and on the streets of other urban centers.

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Maybe StuckinIsaan is a more apt name for you judging by the basis of your topic?

Talk about being so obviously pi$$ed off with life cheesy.gif

Thanks for showing how ignorant you are.

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I am talking about real situations.

Educated Thais, well they probably do read look at international news, whether they show any real interest ? I don't know.

Do you think the Thais, (and to some extent farangs), looking at their smart phones all day are reading anything interesting or doing Facebook or mobile applications ?

I will give you an example, and it is not a one off, of some predicaments regarding farangs.

A westerner, married for say 25 years, eventually gets divorced. For that period of time he has never lived alone, so never cooked, washed or done many day to day chores. He was the breadwinner, so why did have to ? In those days they were called housewives, people expected the woman of the house to do it all. Times may have changed, but in those days it was seen as her role in life.

So he comes here to get away from the bitter divorce, and to sort his head out.

By whatever means, he meets a good looking girl 30 years his junior, she stays with him for the duration of his holiday, and at the end of the holiday he believes THEY, not him alone, but THEY are in love.

So he goes home and thinks what have I got left here ? Looks at his finances after the divorce settlement and decides to up sticks and come to live in Thailand.

So still believing it is love, within a few months he finds himself the proud owner (financier) of a lovely new house in rural Isaan, and a nice 4 door pickup to boot. His finances have dwindled immensely, but hey, he has no rent to pay until the day he dies, his basic state pension, equivalent to approximately 20,000 baht a month is more than enough to get by on.

For whatever reason, his drinking habits due to boredom, a Thai boyfriend, it could be anything, the relationship turns a bit sour, and all is not well.

His choices,

1 - Go back home, where he has nothing, and try to live on the same pension.

2 - Walk away, go to live somewhere else in Thailand. But out of that basic pension he now has to factor in

rental and transport costs, leaving not so much for his daily pleasures.

3 - Accept that the relationship was doomed from the start, but with her letting him stay there, and cooking

and washing for him, even though there is nothing between them, he can still have his daily beer quota, and

reflect on how he, himself has ended up in this situation.

I have met many people in this type of situation, and in the company of others around the table, they put on a brave smile and agree about how great village life is. But sit down, man to man, and hear the truth,it breaks your heart.

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Most Farang - Thai relationships have a starting point called Pattaya. There are Farangs, that realize that Pattaya is a "Freak-Show" far removed from reality and leave for the sticks. It appears to me, that this decision works out quite well for most Farangs.

But let's face it: Sometimes things don't evolve as expected. Worst case: Farang want's out of something that has turned into an "unpleasant situation." Only to realize, that by trying to get out of this "unpleasant situation" will usually mean a loss of invested money ranging from 100% to 50%. Such a loss. in many cases, would make it impossible to maintain a comfortable lifestyle for the Farang in the future.

Sometimes it may be the better solution to remain in this "unpleasant situation" =wearing some golden chains around the ankles, instead of.......

Fortunately, this is rather the exception than the rule. Isn't it?

Cheers.

"Most Farang - Thai relationships have a starting point called Pattaya"

This is a fantasy believed by those who have started a relationship in pay fot play areas like Pattaya,

rationalizing that everyone else must be as foolish as they were.

Many of us have good wives who have never been to pPattaya , other pay for play farang "vacation spots" or even in a bar.

Yes. most good Buddhist Thai wmen do not even drink!

My wife and those of most of my farang friends he Issan have never needed to "entertain" a desprate, lonely foreigner.

But, go ahead, keep rationalizing if it makes you feel better about what you have done.

Sorry, can not rationalize something on my behalf, that I have never done. Otherwise I am comfortable with my statement, that most (not all) Farang / Thai relationships originated in Pattaya.

Cheers.

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Having lived up here for over 10 years, but not out in the sticks, I can assure you that not every farang is as happy as they tell you they are.

Met a girl wherever, it is not important, and eventually talked into buying or building a house in the village to 'live the dream'.

Eventually, like everywhere, after a period of time, the novelty wears off. With very limited conversation, no westerners near, or if fluent in Thai, no Thai person to have a meaningful conversation with, their best friend (or even their only friend) becomes the computer.

Now we are so critical about Thais with the 'losing face' issue (none more so than me), but now the farang is in a similar situation. He now has no alternative to the village life, cannot sell the house, no funds to relocate, but he will never tell other westerners or Thais that he does not like it, because he himself will 'lose face'. So he will tell everyone how great life is in Nakhon Nowhere, but deep down he is quite, if not very, lonely. As the internet speed is not up to scratch, he would not even be able to access a decent western television package, and have to rely on You Tube for visual entertainment.

So next time you hear somebody say how great their idyllic life is in Isaan, bear in mind they might not be telling the true story.

Even if they visit one of the bigger cities up here for a couple of nights, it isn't the same as it was years ago.

Great post

Indeed, great post. Hitting "close to home" in many cases. (Too many cases ?).

Cheers.

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Most Farang - Thai relationships have a starting point called Pattaya. There are Farangs, that realize that Pattaya is a "Freak-Show" far removed from reality and leave for the sticks. It appears to me, that this decision works out quite well for most Farangs.

But let's face it: Sometimes things don't evolve as expected. Worst case: Farang want's out of something that has turned into an "unpleasant situation." Only to realize, that by trying to get out of this "unpleasant situation" will usually mean a loss of invested money ranging from 100% to 50%. Such a loss. in many cases, would make it impossible to maintain a comfortable lifestyle for the Farang in the future.

Sometimes it may be the better solution to remain in this "unpleasant situation" =wearing some golden chains around the ankles, instead of.......

Fortunately, this is rather the exception than the rule. Isn't it?

Cheers.

"Most Farang - Thai relationships have a starting point called Pattaya"

This is a fantasy believed by those who have started a relationship in pay fot play areas like Pattaya,

rationalizing that everyone else must be as foolish as they were.

Many of us have good wives who have never been to pPattaya , other pay for play farang "vacation spots" or even in a bar.

Yes. most good Buddhist Thai wmen do not even drink!

My wife and those of most of my farang friends he Issan have never needed to "entertain" a desprate, lonely foreigner.

But, go ahead, keep rationalizing if it makes you feel better about what you have done.

http://www.polygraph.co.th

Any takers?

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Having lived up here for over 10 years, but not out in the sticks, I can assure you that not every farang is as happy as they tell you they are.

Met a girl wherever, it is not important, and eventually talked into buying or building a house in the village to 'live the dream'.

Eventually, like everywhere, after a period of time, the novelty wears off. With very limited conversation, no westerners near, or if fluent in Thai, no Thai person to have a meaningful conversation with, their best friend (or even their only friend) becomes the computer.

Now we are so critical about Thais with the 'losing face' issue (none more so than me), but now the farang is in a similar situation. He now has no alternative to the village life, cannot sell the house, no funds to relocate, but he will never tell other westerners or Thais that he does not like it, because he himself will 'lose face'. So he will tell everyone how great life is in Nakhon Nowhere, but deep down he is quite, if not very, lonely. As the internet speed is not up to scratch, he would not even be able to access a decent western television package, and have to rely on You Tube for visual entertainment.

So next time you hear somebody say how great their idyllic life is in Isaan, bear in mind they might not be telling the true story.

Even if they visit one of the bigger cities up here for a couple of nights, it isn't the same as it was years ago.

Where do I start?

First came t Thailand 15 years ago, not ten

.

Met my wife when I was in California.

My wife is university educated and not only speaks, reads and writes English..she is an English teacher....

No communication problems at all.

Yes, we built a house in "the village, but we have moved on to a larger community ( still "the sticks" to people like you) The wife's mother now lives in the house we built and takes great care of it for us.

See, we did and do have options!

I have high speed wifi at home and international satilite television.

Home entertainment is not an issue here.

Many of our Thai friends speak English..and I have learned a little Thai too..

No lack of meaninful conversations!

There are more farangs in Issan than I care to meet or get to know!

But, I do have some pretty good friends with Thai wives from America, Britton, Austrailia and New Zealand.

Our social life is just fine thank you!

"bear in mind they might not be telling the true story."

To me your post is questionable...I think I have addressed most of it here.

If you do not live in Issan, please stay wherever you are.

Thank youwai.gif

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