Am I being a dick to my thai gf?

[fireplay 312]

I travel to the States every year for a few months. I usually go to 3-5 cities and spend a few weeks with family and friends. My only option for free accomodation in one city is with my ex girlfriend who I always stay with, in her 1.2 mil condo her plastic surgeon boyfriend bought her. All my friends are married and dont have space for a guest like me.

My thai girlfriend is pissed and hurt.

My ex gf and i broke up 15 years ago...and she is my sister..total family...and always will be.

I told her this is what it is...she said I don't care about her feelings...I told her she can't erase my friends and family from my life.

She is acting like it is the end of the world...I think her jealousy is childish and this is exactly why i wont marry her until she comes to the USA to meet my family and friends and experience my culture.

She is 23...I am 40....I am not posting up in a 150 a night room in the most expensive city in America for 2 weeks.

What do you guys think?

[Jimbo 154]

I think most women wouldn't like their man to do that. Would you be ok if your girlfriend went abroad on a holiday and stayed with her ex?

[wooloomooloo 2,494]

What do you guys think?

Your personality needs work.

[fireplay 312]

@jimbo she asked me the same thing...the thing is if her ex is from a decade and a half ago and has been her family brother and has moved on through many girlfriends and was in a current 4 year relationship with his gf...no. not really. I trust her and i get the traveling lifestyle. I'm not a jealous type sorry....we my gf and I, have been together a year.

My ex has been more of my sister for the 18 YEARS i have known her.

[fireplay 312]

Thanks wooloomooloo I assume you are saying I should not even be considering this as an option and in so doing I am indeed being a dick. How insightful buddy.

[Jimbo 154]

fireplay, i understand what you are saying and agree with you. However I think many Thai women would have an issue with it. They do get rather jealous.

[AlexRRR 5,006]

Your too honest, what she don't know won't hurt her, you also don't know much about Thai women, they are very jealous, it's obvious isn't it, tell her your changed your mind about staying with old gf, then do what every you like.

And yes I'd be pissed off to if I knew my partner was going to stay with an ex, you might find the majority of people would be too.

[slipperylobster 6,443]

Fair is fair.

As long as you allow her to stay at the homes of her ex-boyfriends. I am sure she will be looking them up.

[fireplay 312]

Thanks Alex I know man and i know thai girls well enough I have lived in LOS 6 years already...I just always figured the truth is a way to demonstrate sincerity and nothing to hide...but it seems lose lose situation...gotta be more thai and white lie it up I guess

[Matej 258]

I don't want to be bad, but you are 40 and you should know the answer to your question.

I know neither you nor your girlfriend, but I have a piece of advice for you. Take your marriage very, very slow ...

Good luck

[swampdonkey 443]

Your girlfriend needs to find a new boyfriend

[KMartinHandyman 2,424]

The die is cast for turnabout

[puukao 2,432]

no worries on this one.....i think i was in my 30's when i realized 23 is way too young for a relationship. that was a few years ago, and now i think 28 is pretty young. probably under 31 or so is too young....anyhow, my point is this relationship won't last much longer so who cares.......it's your money. lie to her. tell her you are staying in a 200 USD a night place and now no gifts to her.....i'm being honest. this age gap has 5% of working......

[chiang mai 12,655]

Sometimes white lies are good.

[Sandy Freckle 444]

Stick to your guns..., you are on the right track..., while it's not ideal to generalise..., it is quite true that generally Thai womanhood can get very jealous(and emotionally bent out of shape) especially when younger and emotionally less intelligent..., if you backslide, gf will only continue and possibly increase such needy behaviour in the future...., whatever happens, never bow to such energy vampire behaviour.
I also agree that too much info can be dangerous sometimes...., be straight up and clear with comms to her but at the same time frame your language to her very carefully..., I think you know this stuff already, right ?