richard_smith237 Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 It seems that you have been honest to a fault... I hope your girlfriend recognises this rather than solely fixating on the fact that you are staying at your Ex's apartment for two weeks. In fairness to your Ex, many would understand her grievance, but also many would understand that you don't want to pay $150 per night. As many have said, if tables were to be turned would you be upset ? Options could be - Tell your GF that you won't stay at your ex's place, or tell her you have changed your mind because it upsets her, tell her you are staying at another friends place (and stay at your Ex's anyway)... a little white lie just to protect her feelings. OR, bring your current GF along with you for the two weeks you are at your Ex's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gulfsailor Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 It is not very common for a Thai girl to have a male (best) friend. I went through a similar thing with my gf the first few years. Only after my gf visited my home country with me a couple of times and got to know my friends (many of them girls), did she understand. In Thai culture a woman never just sleeps at a man's home, or other way around. Unless he is her 'brother'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickJ Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 I had an old Gf visit me in Thailand a few times. Never mentioned the past. I stayed at her place in the States as well. Some guys like creating drama. Now your the star in your own international soap opera. Just do what you want bottom line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaeJoMTB Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 It is not very common for a Thai girl to have a male (best) friend. Ladyboy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fabricus Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 no worries on this one.....i think i was in my 30's when i realized 23 is way too young for a relationship. That pretty much nails it. No normal 40 year-old western man can take seriously a Thai girl in her early 20s. They're like little babies. Sure, the OP doesn't respect his GF, but so what? And why would a Thai girl aged 23 even be interested in a farang nearly 20 years her senior? It sure as shit ain't because of lurve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebluewater Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 She is 23 but acts like a 12 year old. You are 40 and acting like a 23 year old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gecko123 Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 Are you being a dick? Affirmative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bannork Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 No no, OP you've got it all wrong , that is your sister, not your ex- girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NativeSon360 Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 If your ex-gf in the States, is more like a sister to you, than a former lover, then why did you not present her (to your Thai gf) as such, to begin with, eh?. You should have matured enough by now to know, that you provide info, on a "need-to-know" basis, only. And, that especially holds true when dealing with the average (not age appropriately matured) Asian female. Then there's the age differential factor. Considering there are many, very senior LOS farangs making babies, with Thai girls young enough to be their granddaughters (a major head-scratching topic, of it's own) I shrug my shoulders in your regard. Personally, I prefer Asian women within my own generation group, for the long-haul relationship. And, even that is a monumental chore, considering I've seen 60+ year-old Thai women, prancing around Central Plaza, dressed like teenage girls. Plus, There's a boatload of single, gorgeous, available born-in-America Thai womenfolk (with traditional Thai values, intact) available in cities like NYC, LA, Houston and South Florida, who are reasonably well-educated, as well. Thai-born, Thai women are far too high-maintenance, for my tastes. Good luck, just the same And dispense with soap-opera drama. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiBiker Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 Yep, you sure are. Pay for a hotel, or don't go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
losgrad Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 Buy your own condo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JHolmesJr Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 You should have kept your mouth shut....its not a womans business what a man does....acr like an alpha male, not an alfa sprout....now who knows who she will sleep with to get back at you while youre away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gringogazzer Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 When you return from staying with your "sister" she will be introducing you to her "brother." You just told her you have a mia noi & you ain't going to convince her otherwise. Yer...I'd go with "dick" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fireplay Posted January 23, 2016 Author Share Posted January 23, 2016 Awesome responses from some big hitters on this site...I'm humbled...Thanks guys! Gives me something to think about and figure out how to best play the next move...That city isn't coming up until after my next stop in Austin....my ex's place is a 2 bdrm downtown loft laced out with art and high end decor, furnishings, easy access to everything...and she welcomes me there...always has. It may seem cheap charlie college couch surf sponge to some of you geezers but I come from the burning man generation and circle...my peeps miss me and always welcome me indefinitely....I just prefer my own room and privacy vs couches and wives...again lots of solid view points i appreciate it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 go check with her "brother" ...that she has been staying with since high school.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wow64 Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Are ok with her staying with her x-boyfriend when she goes to see her family? Sent from my c64 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpokaneAl Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Plain and simple - you over shared. Too many times in our zeal for full disclosure all we do is cause problems between ourselves and our partners, and that is what you did. All she has to go by is her imagination, and that is. Or necessarily a good thing. Additionally, you go to great lengths to describe the relationship between you and your ex as similar to that of a brother and sister. Surely you have heard the tales of guys here being introduced to their girlfriend's "brother." This is a self inflicted injury, fully and completely caused by you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JAFO Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 She is 23 but acts like a 12 year old. You are 40 and acting like a 23 year old. ^ HAHAHA, I was going to say something like that. What 40 year old "man" comes on a forum and asks a grade school question like that. Sounds like high school dance drama nonsense. Oh well, PGrahmm was spot on, The OP will return to a totally different 13 (oops 23) year old GF when he returns. She is hugging her Hello Kitty bed pillow every night crying until he returns. Silly Thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekDaeng Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 fireplay, i understand what you are saying and agree with you. However I think many Thai women would have an issue with it. They do get rather jealous. Shouldn't have mentioned that she is your ex. Does your GF keep ducks? Are you friends with your exs' plas surg bf? You may need to be - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephenterry Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Dump your Thai girl. Find another and zip your mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patsycat Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 I think it is great to be friends with exes. I am friends with most of my exes. I have had them to stay in my place on numerous occasions (on the couch). One of them had a girlfriend who would come over every day to visit. All above board. Their problem was that she was married!! It was me that felt bad for her husband and kids, not them. I did eventually have it out with her and they ended up going to hotels. I didn't want to be caught up in their problems and lies. But we are still friends. Next time, take your girlfriend with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brucegoniners Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 No, you're not being a dick. You're being a guy. Being from the states myself I understand both cultures well. If I did this my wife would be furious as well. I've told her I'm still in touch with ex GF's and even see some of them on my trips. That's not an issue. She just doesn't want to meet them. But if I stayed with one that would be going over the line of her comfort. And really most women in most countries would have issues with that, even many American women. So you have 3 choices. Either stay in a hotel, find another friend to stay with or lie and say you're staying with another friend. The other thing is the age difference. Young girls are jealous. But I think even a woman your own age would have an issue with this. Sometimes being too honest will get you in trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mad mary Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Shagging your sister is just wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realenglish1 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 She is Jealous no doubt But you are also being a di&k about it . I am sure you have discussed this with your EX girlfriend since she is a friend and nothing more. You have 2 options here The first is take your girlfriend to the USA and have her see and meet your girlfriend and living circumstances. The second is to discuss this with your ex and tell her you would appreciate her talking to your Thai girlfriend to set her fears to rest A phone call to you girlfriend from your ex would be a good idea to rest her fears . And since your Ex is supposed to be a good friend she will have no qualms about doing it . Thai woman are not as opened about a relationship as westerners are The culture is different . So you need to step up to the plate this time She will love and respect you more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kkup Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 If I was her I'd start booking a few dinner dates with my Ex's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dao16 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I think this would be an issue for women in the West, but in Thailand it is even more severe. Any extended contact with a member of the opposite sex can be seen as infidelity, especially if you have history with them. While I understand your thinking, I doubt you'll be successful in trying to change her mind on this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chicowoodduck Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Do what you want....it is a free country.....? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeHere Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Thanks Alex I know man and i know thai girls well enough I have lived in LOS 6 years already...I just always figured the truth is a way to demonstrate sincerity and nothing to hide...but it seems lose lose situation...gotta be more thai and white lie it up I guess Unfortunately, I would definitely keep it as a white lie in this case. Thais 'usually' can't handle this type of situation on most levels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wombat Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 why did you even tell her you where staying with an ex ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scorecard Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I think most women wouldn't like their man to do that. Would you be ok if your girlfriend went abroad on a holiday and stayed with her ex? Agree, put yourself in the opposite situation, would you be angry, upset, annoyed, worried, pissed off, jealous if she stayed a few weeks / one week at the residence of an old boyfriend? After she did do this would you then have doubts? Would your level of trust in her go down? Be really honest with yourself. And don't say 'but she doesn't understand my ex gf is now my sister', go back to my first line! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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