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My gf's mom won't let her leave Thailand....


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I don't understand how everyone else seems to have these girlfriends who are so happy to move to some western country or go wherever with their foreigner bf. The plan was my gf was going to pop over to the states in July for a first ever sibling reunion in my family. Kind of good opportunity for her to meet my family all at once together.
Now her mom says she cannot leave Thailand this year at all...something she was advised at the temple....
This is bs man...
First she said no to a week in SG...then she said no to a maroon 5 concert in sao paulo brazil and month traveling around there...now she says no to USA and meeting my family. We were planning to move to Japan after that...my gf even has family running a restaurant there...but nope..no dice. I am not feeling Thailand.I need a few years to travel around somewhere else and the MIL is ruining all the plans.
Am I the only foreigner who has met a thai gf whose family refuses to allow her to travel the world?

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Are you sure it isn't the gf who doesn't want to go? Many Thais have a difficult time leaving Thailand and their families. I wouldn't be so quick to say that other guys have that so easy. Also, many leave and get homesick and want to go back which is something you might consider.

Cheers.

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Ya I am not sure but she always is crying after these "talks" with her mom...she just graduated college and its perfect gap year time for her...she is working a dead end job and I think what my gf really wants is to go to the US to work for awhile and "save for the future" ... making 300 bht a day vs 400 bht per hour is the big appeal for her....I really do believe her mom is putting the kabosh...I mean a week in SG whats up witha big fat no to that? Actually it was her cousin who said no...who we would need to cover for her...her mom wasn't even asked...her mom is super freaked out that her daughter may be living with me...which she is and has been for a year...unbeknownst to the family...and she is also super freaked out her daughter will be sold into sex slavery or something weird if she travels abroad...bs man....

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and she is also super freaked out her daughter will be sold into sex slavery or something weird if she travels abroad...bs man....

I had this issue come up when I took my wife to Singapore and a cruise for five days. One of her family members thought I was going to sell her into a sex slave ring. I told her to tell him that the only sex that was happening was going to be with me, but she declined to pass that info on to her family. tongue.png

We talked about it before we left because frankly I was curious. She asked a bit and a "friend of a friend's cousin" went to Singapore with a farang to never return. My fiance admitted after the fact that all the slavery talk even got to her a bit (and she had been to Europe and Korea before with a Thai group, so it's not like she had never left the country), but after that one trip with me, now it's "where are we going next?"

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My little experience in Thailand:

Thais usually get homesick in very short time and no salary can change that. So think about that twice, especially if she has never been abroad.

If you talk and behave like this in front of your Gf's mother then I'm not surprised she doesn't want her to go.

Actually, it's nice to see that some mothers caring their daughters. I wish more mamas do that in Thailand.

... and don't fight for your Gf with her family, you will not win.

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Now her mom says she cannot leave Thailand this year at all...something she was advised at the temple....

I would think your GF need to be into Thailand when she gets married to her Thai BF, (future husband) the family has picked for her.

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Ya I am not sure but she always is crying after these "talks" with her mom...she just graduated college and its perfect gap year time for her...she is working a dead end job and I think what my gf really wants is to go to the US to work for awhile and "save for the future" ... making 300 bht a day vs 400 bht per hour is the big appeal for her....I really do believe her mom is putting the kabosh...I mean a week in SG whats up witha big fat no to that? Actually it was her cousin who said no...who we would need to cover for her...her mom wasn't even asked...her mom is super freaked out that her daughter may be living with me...which she is and has been for a year...unbeknownst to the family...and she is also super freaked out her daughter will be sold into sex slavery or something weird i about her Motheo worryf she travels abroad...bs man....

Be sure to tell the US Embassy your GF wants to work in the states when she applies for her VISA! You won't have to worry about

her Mother! She'll stay in Thailand for at least ten more years!

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I know your gf is young and maybe this does not apply, but most educated Thai women don't want to leave Thailand for a "better" life in the West.

This might have been the case in the past, but Thais today (FB) are aware that life in the West is a lonely, miserable affair. My wife is in contact with many women who moved to Canada and every single one is regretting the decision. Now, I know it's "Canada", but still......

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I know your gf is young and maybe this does not apply, but most educated Thai women don't want to leave Thailand for a "better" life in the West.

This might have been the case in the past, but Thais today (FB) are aware that life in the West is a lonely, miserable affair. My wife is in contact with many women who moved to Canada and every single one is regretting the decision. Now, I know it's "Canada", but still......

Canada? Too cccccold, no Thai in their right mind will move to a place where it's winter most of the year.

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taking responsibility for decisions, especially negative ones is not a thai's strong point. they will almost always divert responsibility to another person/event - as is possibly happening in this case. my guess is that your gf doesnt really want to leave thailand but is unable culturally or due to lack of personality able to tell you clearly.

the reasons for her wanting to remain here could be ascertained from how/where you met her and what her job is. does she have a good job/career here? maybe she doesnt want to be a housewife stuck at home all day in a foreign country. was she a bar girl? maybe staying here is more profitable for her...

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go talk to mom and make sure when you pull out your wallet to show her a photo of your moms house,she see's the big fat wad of 1,000bht.notes.

that should do the trick.

give mom the come on feeling that might help also..

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If the monks said something, your girlfriend, her mother and all the other family members will believe it 100%

Last year my wife went to a temple, told a monk about my situation.

Bring your husband here to the temple, i will make him walk again. !! WHAT !!

i AM PARAPLEGIC. Will never walk again.

Would my wife listen to me. No way the monk said he can fix your back.

After 3 days of argument i gave in was carried to the car, taken to the temple.

Lay on the floor for 3 days. Monk visited me for 5 minutes each day, massaging my back.

Oh i can feel his back is getting better.

F..k this we are going home i said.Darling monk says it is getting better.

My wife believed the sh..e he was saying.

Today 6 months after the temple my back is still the same.

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I know your gf is young and maybe this does not apply, but most educated Thai women don't want to leave Thailand for a "better" life in the West.

This might have been the case in the past, but Thais today (FB) are aware that life in the West is a lonely, miserable affair. My wife is in contact with many women who moved to Canada and every single one is regretting the decision. Now, I know it's "Canada", but still......

Again, becoming emotionally involved with a "born-in-Asia" Asian female, is inevitably doomed to result in failure, unless that Asian female is predisposed to expand her own personal horizons, prior to meeting the farang, in the first place.

Thai womenfolk, who do not appreciate the opportunity afforded them, especially in Canada, were among the bona-fide losers of Thailand, to begin with. It was the farang, who was not paying attention to reality, and operating from a "denial" platform. The poor Thai girl, just didn't know any better. The farang bf should have known better, but he was too busy enjoying his Richard Forbrain society membership, to be with.coffee1.gif

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Get formally married with your girl friend paying a nice sinsod...and your future mother in law will change her mind very fast....

Tend to agree. MIL doesn't want you taking her daughter away and having your wicked way without that sin sod. Yes, I know you probably are already, but to her mum, letting her go away advertises it to all and sundry. No ring, no jewelry, no marriage, no sin sod. Mummy would get the piss taken out of her by the neighbors and family. Letting her "asset" go without getting all the up front payments first.

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I know your gf is young and maybe this does not apply, but most educated Thai women don't want to leave Thailand for a "better" life in the West.

This might have been the case in the past, but Thais today (FB) are aware that life in the West is a lonely, miserable affair. My wife is in contact with many women who moved to Canada and every single one is regretting the decision. Now, I know it's "Canada", but still......

Again, becoming emotionally involved with a "born-in-Asia" Asian female, is inevitably doomed to result in failure, unless that Asian female is predisposed to expand her own personal horizons, prior to meeting the farang, in the first place.

Thai womenfolk, who do not appreciate the opportunity afforded them, especially in Canada, were among the bona-fide losers of Thailand, to begin with. It was the farang, who was not paying attention to reality, and operating from a "denial" platform. The poor Thai girl, just didn't know any better. The farang bf should have known better, but he was too busy enjoying his Richard Forbrain society membership, to be with.coffee1.gif

Hmmm...on a way I agree with your comment, however there are limits of making excuses for "them". Can not only blame the messenger, my friend.

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Thais usually get homesick in very short time.....

Another way of looking at this is that they are so insularly bred and inward focused, that the majority cannot handle cultural diversity and realtionships with the outside world. Makes more sense to keep em in thailand and only visit when the itch needs to be scratched.

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I just noticed that you said you are not "feeling Thailand." If you don't like Thailand and she doesn't like leaving then what future do you have? I know some women in the US who are doing well but they have a location with good weather and they work in Thai owned Thai restaurants with Thais. They do indeed like the cleaner, saner country and the lifestyle and have probably settled in.

I know others who moved to colder climates and don't like that at all. I know others who are stay at home moms who are going crazy for missing Thailand.

I would think that as clean and sane (driving, clean water, infrastructure, building quality, no litter) as the US is anyone would appreciate it after seeing Thailand. That simply isn't the case for some from another culture and you may be heading for trouble.

Cheers.

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I suspect Mom is a control freak...afraid to let daughter out of her sight...she may lose control...

She may also see her daughter as a potential source of income security for her...does not like you having undue influence and messing up her plans...

Good luck friend...sounds as if you may need it...

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Have you tried to get a visa for a Thai girl friend (much younger?) to visit the USA? Good luck with that one without her having a lot of money in the bank and owning property. My Thai wife was over 30 when we moved back to sunny Florida. She was a lawyer in Thailand but waited tables at Chick Filet, worked in a Publix market, and cleaned asses in a nursing home when in the USA. Never a moment of homesickness. When we had made enough money (ten years) we retired back to Thailand where we never had to work again. Her family was delighted she had the opportunity to travel but seeking permission was never even considered. Good luck in any event.

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