What if your Daughter did it

[chilli42]

Assume you are taking about age as it relates to having a successful relationship and not marriages that are fueled exclusively by big money and/or fame. Depends on what you mean by older ... how much older? On a physical age dimension, the maximum would be 15 years. It's not a big deal when the female is 25 and the man is 40 (not to say that I see lots of males who are 40 going on 65 physically and metabolically). Where it becomes problematic is later in life. Think 70 year old male with a 55 year old woman. Unless the male has good health and has maintained a high level of fitness and diet, any more than a 15 year spread is going to be a problem. A healthy 45 year old Thai woman is going to expect sex 3 or so times a week. If you can delver on that when you are 70 God bless you. If not don't be surprised if you find she is on the prowl for younger men. What 55 year old person wants to be helping some old fart change his incintinent dispers? If health were a level playing field between the man and a woman then it's about psychological age. I have freinds who are 70 that are great story tellers, curious about the world, creative funny etc. I also have acquaintances who are in their mid 40's who are about as exciting as watching paint dry. The same can be said for women as well. So a dull old guy and dull young gal could work. So to answer your question ... you are asking the wrong question, it's too shallow and non specific to answer sensibly.

[Cypress Hill]

....whose doing is it.......

....and why does this culture accept it.....

....and who is the victim.......

I don't see anyone making a fuss in the US when old (89) Hugh Hefner married a Playboy model more than 60 years his junior. It's the same story the world over, if you're rich enough it's acceptable.

Because everyone knows the Playboy model will be VERY well compensated financially for her sacrifice - Heff's a very wealthy man

On the other hand, the Isaan farmgirl taking up with a retired Eddie Punchclock for a monthly pittance is simply being exploited

As someone else said on this thread, as the economy and living standards in Thailand improve, the cost of a young wife/GF are going to increase beyond the typical migrating sex retiree's ability to pay

That day can't come soon enough

It's all relative. The falang who hooks up with a young Thai girl probably ends up buying her a few goodies, like a house, car, motorbike, money to support parents and the sick buffalo etc. This to the average Thai girl is no different than HH taking care of one of his bimbos financially. Once again you assume that every retired falang comes to Thailand with the bare bones of a pension. All the 60's plus guys I know here are set up very well financially, have beautiful houses, cars, trips back home a couple of times a year etc. Maybe that's why you are so down on this group, the envy is just eating you up inside.

Envious of what, pray tell?

[giddyup]

Envious of what, pray tell?

Lifestyle, money, you name it. I notice you avoid all the other relative points, I guess when you have no answers you have to. Quite frankly I'm sick of discussing this (or any other) subject with you. You are just so biased and bigoted against retirees that it makes any kind of discussion pointless.

[Cypress Hill]

Envious of what, pray tell?

Lifestyle, money, you name it. I notice you avoid all the other relative points, I guess when you have no answers you have to. Quite frankly I'm sick of discussing this (or any other) subject with you. You are just so biased and bigoted against retirees that it makes any kind of discussion pointless.

Why in God's name would I be jealous of an old man paying a young woman to endure his company?

[Puccini]

I have a friend in the UK (dont we all) whose daughter married some DH of her own age, result catastrophe!

...

What s a DH?

[MaeJoMTB]

I'm 61. The thought of a 20 year old girlfriend leaves me weak with exhaustion. Whether here in Thailand or back in the US, I can't imagine what we would have in common to talk about.

Women aren't for conversation .........

[georgemandm]

As a Thai father in Thailand the answer is that it's OK.

As a Western father in the West it's sociably unacceptable hence it's not OK.

As a Western father in Thailand it's most probably not acceptable, to the father.

As a Thai father living in the West, it's probably OK, so what does that tell you about the West.

Not sure how you can answer for a Thai father if you yourself are not Thai. A Thai father can be against it, but will most likely relent to the will of his daughter. That would be the same as any western father. Yes, there are cases of young western women with older men (that we hear about). I would guess that the father may harbor private disagreement, but would support his daughter's decision.

To answer the OP, I would prefer my daughter be with a responsible older man than a punk irresponsible younger man. But regardless, it's her choice. I'm assuming the question is about an adult woman and not a teenager.

Very true.

I have two daughters and if my girls want to get married to a man a lot older than them I am ok with it as long as my girls respect him and he respect my daughters it is up to them not me .

It is in the western that people have the problem .

[manfredtillmann]

Let's make this more interesting...

What if it were middle-aged Thais, Chinese or other Asian men going to US/AUS/EU and picking up young white women while proudly displaying them in public?

Imagine the uproar and ensuing violence.

Farang just dont appreciate how tolerant Thais are toward them and how good they have it in Thailand.

daughter #1 married a single - track - brain airhead, daughter #2 will marry a muslim cleric next months...

i think i would have felt much more comfortable if both had liaised with an elderly, wealthy thai.

my gf is 23 years younger than me - exactly the same age gap as between her thai father and her laos mother.

[facthailand]

My Thai inlaws accepted me! Only 16 years diff, though, same as my Western father and stepmum.

[smotherb]

Let's make this more interesting...

What if it were middle-aged Thais, Chinese or other Asian men going to US/AUS/EU and picking up young white women while proudly displaying them in public?

Imagine the uproar and ensuing violence.

Farang just dont appreciate how tolerant Thais are toward them and how good they have it in Thailand.

Other races are simply not as bigoted as caucasians.

[MaeJoMTB]

Let's make this more interesting...

What if it were middle-aged Thais, Chinese or other Asian men going to US/AUS/EU and picking up young white women while proudly displaying them in public?

Wealthy Arabs do that all the time in London.

Nobody notices or cares.

[CapeCobra]

In Thailand, they do it for money. In the West, they do it for love.

Ask Anna Nicole.

[Jip99]

I'm 61. The thought of a 20 year old girlfriend leaves me weak with exhaustion. Whether here in Thailand or back in the US, I can't imagine what we would have in common to talk about. I can't believe that 20 year old girl could truly be interested in an old fart like me.

Now a foxy 50 year old....!

Nothing personal but I doubt that a foxy 50 year old would be "truly interested" in you either.

If you are looking for someone to be "truly interested" in you, you probably shouldn't be posting on this thread.

I am looking forward to seeing a foxy 30 year old tomorrow night and I seriously doubt that she is "truly interested" in me.

I can live with that.

[mrfill]

Read a pretty disparaging western article on the internet recently about the prevalence of this in Thailand.

The oft-used derogatory terminology was "inter-generational sex." It was used in a similar way we'd say "incest" or "bestiality."

I felt so guilty...

I bet it wasn't in one of Rupert Murdoch's papers.

[Agent Sumo]

Envious of what, pray tell?

Lifestyle, money, you name it. I notice you avoid all the other relative points, I guess when you have no answers you have to. Quite frankly I'm sick of discussing this (or any other) subject with you. You are just so biased and bigoted against retirees that it makes any kind of discussion pointless.

"Oh yeah, look at me, I'm living the dream. I get to pay a Thai girl 20,000 baht a month to pretend she doesn't want to throw up when I kiss/touch/bang her once a week"

"I just know your green with envy"

[MyFriend You]

I once said almost the same thing to a Officer mate of mine when I was in the Army: Scenario: He was into his cups a bit and said to the group, "Hell my daughter is starting to look good, I'm already beating them off with a stick, what do you guys think - (pointing to me) you dont count, (as I had an 18yo Danish girlfriend and I was 30) guys with kids (I have had none of my own) voiced their opinion, I had to pipe up and said "What would you rather have, some pimple faced kid popping your girls cherry probably hurting her at the same time or a guy like me, that would take his time & do it tenderly" Holy shit, he went berserk , chased me around the bar and after throwing a few good body punches, he breathlessly says "You're f'king a right" but I don't have to like it" we had eaten a lot of Afghan dirt back in '89 together, thats pbly what kept me from getting my ass royally kicked. So bottom line is - "Daddy's don't like it and will kick your ass if they find out" and I don't blame them one bit..........so be afraid, be very afraid.

Asians on the other hand may take it with a grain of salt, my house Guard in East Timor always boasted he was "Rich" because he had seven daughters, each a year older than the other.............the dowery there is seven cattle for each girl. So the question and answer is a matter of geography .

Mi Dis Centvos

[MyFriend You]

I think if my daughter is in love with someone and they treat her with respect, admiration and equality, I would support it.

I think just like any father it depends on the relationship and not the age.

The stereotypical relationship here of an older foreign man married to younger Thai women is different as the age isn't the issue. The problem with most of these relationships is that they are marriages of convenience and personal agendas. Women looking for financial security and a way out of poverty and disgruntled men that want a subservient woman who won't challenge their western superiority is the problem most fathers would have.

But I do like your question and reasoning. Before we do anything we should always ask ourselves if it happened to ourselves would we be as happy about it.

Jeezus Louize Man, open your eyes, every woman is looking for financial security in one way or another, for every 100 'marriages of convenience there is maybe 1 or 2 equal in social stature or financial equality' why do you think they have 'Pre-Nuptials' now, never had them in 'our days' Why n hell do you need to make a contract with your potential spouse that everything you have before you get married is yours, and everything you accumulate in the marriage is 'community property' boggles the mind.

[MyFriend You]

I'm 61. The thought of a 20 year old girlfriend leaves me weak with exhaustion. Whether here in Thailand or back in the US, I can't imagine what we would have in common to talk about. I can't believe that 20 year old girl could truly be interested in an old fart like me.

Now a foxy 50 year old....!

Nothing personal but I doubt that a foxy 50 year old would be "truly interested" in you either.

If you are looking for someone to be "truly interested" in you, you probably shouldn't be posting on this thread.

I am looking forward to seeing a foxy 30 year old tomorrow night and I seriously doubt that she is "truly interested" in me.

I can live with that.

Nothing personal but just wondering 'How old are you'??

[mankondang]

My daughters have been brought up to be independent, hence they are adult enough to make their own choices on any factors, including who they marry. They can and do seek out my advice, but are free to make their own decisions and life choices, with or without my concent.. I am their parent, who will love them unconditionally, and not someone who wishes to have power and/or control over their lives. I apply the same reasoning to my life.

[SoiBiker]

I think if my daughter is in love with someone and they treat her with respect, admiration and equality, I would support it.

I think just like any father it depends on the relationship and not the age.

The stereotypical relationship here of an older foreign man married to younger Thai women is different as the age isn't the issue. The problem with most of these relationships is that they are marriages of convenience and personal agendas. Women looking for financial security and a way out of poverty and disgruntled men that want a subservient woman who won't challenge their western superiority is the problem most fathers would have.

But I do like your question and reasoning. Before we do anything we should always ask ourselves if it happened to ourselves would we be as happy about it.

Jeezus Louize Man, open your eyes, every woman is looking for financial security in one way or another, for every 100 'marriages of convenience there is maybe 1 or 2 equal in social stature or financial equality' why do you think they have 'Pre-Nuptials' now, never had them in 'our days' Why n hell do you need to make a contract with your potential spouse that everything you have before you get married is yours, and everything you accumulate in the marriage is 'community property' boggles the mind.

Not every woman, no. Some women achieve financial security by earning their own money, and don't need a man to provide it. Welcome to the 21st century.

[Jip99]

I'm 61. The thought of a 20 year old girlfriend leaves me weak with exhaustion. Whether here in Thailand or back in the US, I can't imagine what we would have in common to talk about. I can't believe that 20 year old girl could truly be interested in an old fart like me.

Now a foxy 50 year old....!

Nothing personal but I doubt that a foxy 50 year old would be "truly interested" in you either.

If you are looking for someone to be "truly interested" in you, you probably shouldn't be posting on this thread.

I am looking forward to seeing a foxy 30 year old tomorrow night and I seriously doubt that she is "truly interested" in me.

I can live with that.

Nothing personal but just wondering 'How old are you'??

50 something.

[giddyup]

Envious of what, pray tell?

Lifestyle, money, you name it. I notice you avoid all the other relative points, I guess when you have no answers you have to. Quite frankly I'm sick of discussing this (or any other) subject with you. You are just so biased and bigoted against retirees that it makes any kind of discussion pointless.

"Oh yeah, look at me, I'm living the dream. I get to pay a Thai girl 20,000 baht a month to pretend she doesn't want to throw up when I kiss/touch/bang her once a week"

"I just know your green with envy"

Another mental midget.

[ChoakMyDee]

I want my daughter to be happy. I don't control her. I don't have any expectations of what she will do with her life. My job is to prepare her for the world, to make sure she is well equipped to function in the world. It's none of my business who she might hook up with some day. Young, old, man, woman, ugly, fat, skinny, short, tall, etc. etc. What is important is that she be happy and feel fulfilled and connected to someone.

I want to see her happy. I don't want to impose my opinion of what she should do.

[MiKT]

Depends

There's a big difference between the typical age-gap relationship in the West and the one in Thailand

Most guys who have them in the West have serious coin - a Western young 'un needs far more incentive to go nostalgic with a fossil than her Thai counterpart - that's why they old guys are here in such numbers singing the local women's praises

If my daughter was in the West and hooked up with an old man, there's a really good chance he'd at least have real world wealth and, I suppose, I could live with it . . . just

If she was here, though and considering an ex-Network Rail ticket inspector on a goat-cheese pension, I'd disown her in the blink of an eye and empty a clip into his face

In Thailand the western men are wealthy somewhat in their eyes.

You get what you pay for however, and you cannot buy love, and a woman that hooks up with any man for money regardless of age is what some may call a prostitute with one customer.

Which shows how very, very little you understand Thai's.

[bangon04]

Average life expectancy in "advanced" countries is only 5 years more for females than males, whereas in Thailand it is nearer 10 years (and you can also factor in the drunk motorcycle riders who kill themselves off regularly).

In previous generations, women were expected to stoically accept their years of widowhood. Maybe now they don't need to??

It may be a generalisation, but women are taught to look for stability and security and financial benefits. In Thailand this is not unusual - how many times have you heard " older man is not a playboy and knows how to look after a woman".

Childbearing years for a female vs fertility years for a male.

On the subject of gender bias - why shouldn't an experienced widow of 50+ take a boyfriend of 20 years old to mould him to her needs? If her previous (older) husband left her with the experience and the money when he faded away, then she should not be expected to accept old age if she doesn't feel like it.

Double standards anyone?

[Bantex]

[stonycan]

Im a single father raised my two boys and daughter for 18 years. My daughter is inteligent and didnt even want to date till she was 19.now she is 23 and living with a man my age. They go to the opera . And theater and are both members of rotary. Im proud of both of them . He loves her and treats her well. She found someone who understand her. On the same note i would show young girls my daughters picture if they approached me. I found the woman 35 plus a little more on my level. Love thailand and thai people.

[sawadee1947]

As a Thai father in Thailand the answer is that it's OK.

As a Western father in the West it's sociably unacceptable hence it's not OK.

As a Western father in Thailand it's most probably not acceptable, to the father.

As a Thai father living in the West, it's probably OK, so what does that tell you about the West.

I don't really know what this thread is about. At the end you would have to accept your children's choice or to break with them. "Like" or "dislike" is another point. But that is at the end not important.

[thaiduncankk]

Aver

- how many times have you heard " older man is not a playboy and knows how to look after a woman".

- how many times have you heard " farang is a pisshead and sits on a bar stool everyday ?"

Are they all ? I am not, and looking at the emptiness of the bars countrywide, I am not sure a high percentage are.

[soc]

I have a friend in the UK (dont we all) whose daughter married some DH of her own age, result catastrophe!

They had two kids He left her as they do and at the worst possible time leaving her devastated and with the prospect of a hard existence bringing the two kids up.

A couple of years down the road she met a man a lot older than her and bingo the best thing that happened to her and him.

So yes it is possible to have a happy life with an older man.

In any event you are only as old as you feel and the amount of old age, beer swilling, chain smoking 50 year olds propping the bars up in down town Pattaya are not indicative of Men of any age.

Finally in my rant and because I am sick of young jealous immature upstarts talking BS about the values of older men with younger woman does it ever occur to them when bringing older men with young women into disrepute that getting older, remaining fit and healthy, having an healthy interest in , dare I say it a younger woman is a result perhaps of not just good luck but a healthy brain that has done its job in maintain a healthy body and mind

When a nest builder (woman) looks around for a suitable mate in the West its for the biggest Phallus ( in other words pure eroticism ) with no thought of the future.

When a nest builder (Woman looks around for a suitable mate in the East its for the future with all the Instinctive reactive process kicking in.

Those Instinctive reactive processes are not too concerned with the size of the cock but the ability to build the best secure nest and bring home the bacon as it where to feed the family a situation IMO that an older man fills so much better than an "Hoppin youth"

So eat your hearts out you jealous young ageist youths for you will always be at the back of the line behind the older more attractive men chasing the young ladies from Thailand.

Now where is my flak jacket?

Agreed! With two daughters in Oz, one in a relationship with a slightly younger man and being ripped off by him (but Dad, I love him!) The second with a much younger man (she 46 him 36) and really happy with the result! The Asian way is by far the best way, one of my daughters went for "love" the other for the breadwinner, I know which one is winning by a country mile!

Young women here tell me that while the young men are more handsome the older men are more sincere, the younger men have yet to prove themselves while the older men have already done so!

Of course, there is always the dicotomy of youth and vigor V's age and cunning but looking at over 50 years in asia I believe that the older man (45+) will always beat out the younger man!

Asian women are not stupid (unlike their western counterparts) and as a rule go for the future not the present! IMMHO

l know what you mean.

l have been through the "but Dad, l love him" scenario & the bloke is a complete dropkick.

My youngest daughter, a very beautiful girl l might add, has had a selection of same-age dkhds.

The only one l liked was the first one who was 30 when she was 18 & he left her because he felt "guilty" about their age gap.

He was a gentleman & treated her like a Princess.

l'm still hoping that Mr Right comes along for her.