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PT4

Do you pay her a salary? (I do.)

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...I just am paying her a salary [referring to his wife]

​That comment by "uthaithanirules" (on another topic) started me thinking. So many expats report problems with wives & girlfriends about money. Thinking in terms of a salary is a practical solution.

​Who else pays a fixed salary or allowance? How much do you pay and what does it cover?

​Personally, I am partial to this approach because:

​1. The woman can depend on fixed salary/allowance every week or every month.

​2. She doesn't have to beg or cajole every time she wants money for something.

3. You don't have to put up with repeated begging and cajoling for money.

​4. It puts you in a position of "boss". Thai women understand that.

There is one other benefit -- the most important, to my way of thinking -- which I'll mention below.

In the past when I had a steady Thai girlfriend I gave her a weekly allowance. We did not live together -- she had her own room. She worked in an ordinary, neighborhood massage shop (not sexy massage). From that job she paid her own living expenses and sent money to support mother and daughter in Korat. ​Just barely support, but they didn't starve.

​Before starting to pay her a salary I thought a lot about how much. Here is what I came up with. If you can improve on my thinking, please do.

​My goal was to improve her life significantly, so she would be eager to "take care" of me. But not so much that she would slack off her day job, or quit working and try to move in with me. So my plan was to pay 2/3 of the amount of her day job. At the margin, that would improve her life greatly.

​So I gently started inquiring about her total monthly "take home" -- commissions + tips. And, to verify, I asked other women working in other, similar shops. (This was 10 years ago, so amounts will seem low today.) Monthly average was around 10,000, verified by others. That put me in for 6-7,000/month. Fine.

​Most Thais get paid monthly. Tips, if any, arrive daily. I decided to fill in the gap and pay weekly. In this case, 1,500 baht every week.

She was delighted, of course. And I'm sure she bragged to her co-workers, because soon they were looking at me with much more interest than before.

​What did it cover? Entirely up to her. I never asked.

And whenever we were together I still paid for everything: meals, entertainment, travel, etc. When we went to the beach, I bought her a T-shirt with a beach scene, plus "kannom" snacks to take back to her friends at work. One day, she called to say she would be late to meet for lunch, because her fan had "died" and she must take the Skytrain to Lotus and get a new fan. I said, we'll go to Lotus together, I'll pay for the fan, we'll have lunch there, and then we'll return in a taxi to bring the new fan to your room.

That approach worked beautifully over several years. Never an argument about money.

​Now the rest of the story:

​5. Parting ways is easy for you -- just stop paying the salary.

​When time came to split up, she understood my weekly payments would stop. Sad, yes, but nothing more from her: no threats, no arguments, no shouting, nothing damaged in my room.

Of course, with a wife and children, different story: #5 may not apply.

​Would I do it again? Yes. Is it a fair way to treat a Thai woman from a poor background? It is a way they understand clearly. Getting Thai women from poor backgrounds to understand managing money is often a challenge.

Now, I'm starting to shop for a new lady friend (preferably another country girl) and planning to use the same approach. How might it be improved? ​Your thoughtful comments and critique, please.

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A refreshingly honest approach. It seems that many relationships here have a transactional basis. Quite sensible to be open and realistic about this.

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I don't pay my wife anything. I was introduced to her by another Thai lady who is a friend of mine (not a girlfriend) in the UK. Her advice to me was do not give her money, for example like a salary. She told me that if a problem arises then by all means help her out. But to pay her money just for the sake of it is wrong, and just sends out the wrong messages. 10 years on, we are still going strong.

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My Gf works and has her own money. I prefer it that way. The salary thing would make me feel like Im paying her to be with me. Thai guys dont pay salaries .

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Thankfully, my wife is with me because she loves me. I didn't hire a hooker.

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Give the wife money!!!! no way her salary is bigger than my pension.

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A refreshingly honest approach. It seems that many relationships here have a transactional basis. Quite sensible to be open and realistic about this.

Surely the term "refreshingly honest" implies a new and innovative approach to a situation?

The OP's Post offers neither; it's simply a rather clumsy attempt to disguise the long used Thai system of "Mia Noi", or more specifically in this case "Mia Chao", a much lower category of sexual servitude (without the usually significant aspect of respect for the individual conferred by the "status" of "Mia Noi").

Patrick

.

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My Gf works and has her own money. I prefer it that way. The salary thing would make me feel like Im paying her to be with me. Thai guys dont pay salaries .

No, many hand over all their wages, don't you know any. I give the mrs 20 baht a day, but intend to put this up to 10k a month next year and she can pay for all her stuff out of that. She does work p/t but barely earns a minimum wage these days. Any bad behavior will result in deductions. gigglem.gif

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Thankfully, my wife is with me because she loves me. I didn't hire a hooker.

Well, in conservative German families it is kind of normal to give the woman allowance money to keep up with the needs and the budget of the household. Seems to be normal way of doing things and best way of budgeting.

Of course this concept sounds alien to some people for different reasons.

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My Gf works and has her own money. I prefer it that way. The salary thing would make me feel like Im paying her to be with me. Thai guys dont pay salaries .

No, many hand over all their wages, don't you know any. I give the mrs 20 baht a day, but intend to put this up to 10k a month next year and she can pay for all her stuff out of that. She does work p/t but barely earns a minimum wage these days. Any bad behavior will result in deductions. gigglem.gif

I know of relationships where the Thai girl supports the Thai man.

Its not unheard of for the girl to shower the man with, gold, motorcyles, watches or in some cases cars.

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We split the bills.

Im the kind of person who would pay money to be left alone. Will never grasp the concept of paying for company, unless its a prostitute for a couple of hours.

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My Gf works and has her own money. I prefer it that way. The salary thing would make me feel like Im paying her to be with me. Thai guys dont pay salaries .

No, many hand over all their wages, don't you know any. I give the mrs 20 baht a day, but intend to put this up to 10k a month next year and she can pay for all her stuff out of that. She does work p/t but barely earns a minimum wage these days. Any bad behavior will result in deductions. gigglem.gif

I know of relationships where the Thai girl supports the Thai man.

Its not unheard of for the girl to shower the man with, gold, motorcyles, watches or in some cases cars.

I know some singers like that, never seems to last long though

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A woman taking a regular weekly/monthly salary in return for her company is a prostitute on retainer and, as such, not worthy of the description, "girlfriend"

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