Do you pay her a salary? (I do.)

[donnybay]

50 years ago my father worked and my mother brought up the family, he gave her a weekly allowance for the family and herself, nothing strange in that even if no children are involved, pretty sure she was not a prostitute!!

Would she have stayed with him if he did not, but spent his money on booze and fags I doubt It, they were not rich, but its what happened in those days

OP is spot on

[rgs2001uk]

I don't give my gf any monthly income. She has her own job, her own room..etc. She had all of those before I met her. I do however pay for almost everything we do together. Traveling, dinners, or other luxuries that she would probably not be able to afford without me.

If guys want to pay their gf, wife, insert other description here, a monthly salary then that is fine with me. But that seems like a business deal more than anything. All cases are different of course. My friend gives his wife a certain amount each month to pay for the kids schooling, mortgage, car payments...etc. the rest is for him to invest and of course beer money. I don't look at this as a salary but just a split of the money for her to mange.

OK, so you dont give your gf a monthly income, but you pay for everything above the basics becuase she has a shit thai job with thai pay, and couldnt do anything without your money......totally unlike a salary

Your friend pays for a whole bunch of stuff, but as long as you dont call it a salary, "a split of the money for her to manage" then its not a salary

becuase she has a shit thai job with thai pay, and couldnt do anything without your money..

Hilarious, oh wow, hlarious.

News shock, girls in Bkk earning upwards of 100k + baht per month.

Neither need farang Lotharios or Somchais, how the misogynists must hate them LOL.

The control freaks best head upcountry, LOL, its about all their goat cheese pension can afford them.

[thaiduncankk]

50 years ago my father worked and my mother brought up the family, he gave her a weekly allowance for the family and herself, nothing strange in that even if no children are involved, pretty sure she was not a prostitute!!

Would she have stayed with him if he did not, but spent his money on booze and fags I doubt It, they were not rich, but its what happened in those days

OP is spot on

OP is not spot on.

What my father gave to my mother was 'housekeeping money', and it was used to pay the running costs of the house and children. If she wanted anything, like a new dress for a special occasion, she would ask him for the money to buy it, and if he could afford it, he would willingly oblige.

For your information, a salary is paid by an employer to an employee, so it infers on here, that quite a few members employ their partner.

Sounds about right, nothing more than a business transaction.

[Don Mega]

my missus does not work.

On the first of every month I transfer to her account 80k. From this she pays all the household bills (rent/electric/water/internet/cable tv etc etc) and makes sure there is always fresh bread, milk, beer in the fridge and ciggies in my office and covers any other miscellaneous expenditure (this month we had all the AC's serviced).

What ever is not spent is hers.

80 K? That is my entire monthly retirement pay. I live in Isan. I could easily do 30K.

Iam not retired and I dont live in Isan.

[uthaithanirules]

becuase she has a shit thai job with thai pay, and couldnt do anything without your money..

Hilarious, oh wow, hlarious.

News shock, girls in Bkk earning upwards of 100k + baht per month.

Neither need farang Lotharios or Somchais, how the misogynists must hate them LOL.

The control freaks best head upcountry, LOL, its about all their goat cheese pension can afford them.

Hilarious is it?

How many people (either gender) make over 100k Baht a month in Bangkok?

10%, 5%?

[fiddlehead]

Let's get one thing straight here, our partners deserve to have their own money.

Deserve?

What if they gamble?

What if they give it away to their deadbeat brother (who wrecked our house, my motorbike, sold my clothes and furniture when we went away, etc)

My wife can earn all the money she wants and give it to her family, or gamble with it, or whatever, but she doesn't deserve mine because she hasn't proven to me that she can handle it responsibly.

So, please don't set my rules for me.

[sipi]

Let's get one thing straight here, our partners deserve to have their own money.

Deserve?

What if they gamble?

What if they give it away to their deadbeat brother (who wrecked our house, my motorbike, sold my clothes and furniture when we went away, etc)

My wife can earn all the money she wants and give it to her family, or gamble with it, or whatever, but she doesn't deserve mine because she hasn't proven to me that she can handle it responsibly.

So, please don't set my rules for me.

They deserve to have their own money and do what they like with it regardless of where they get it. Who are we to keep then pennyless? Even prisoners get pocket money.

[LukKrueng]

Thankfully, my wife is with me because she loves me. I didn't hire a hooker.

Well, in conservative German families it is kind of normal to give the woman allowance money to keep up with the needs and the budget of the household. Seems to be normal way of doing things and best way of budgeting.

Of course this concept sounds alien to some people for different reasons.

op wasn't talking about allowance for house hold expenses as they didn't live together. He was talking about salary for"taking care of him"

[Mudcrab]

Don't need to. My wife has a job and earns her own money. and contributes to the household income. I will say that I did give my western first wife a very healthy allowance as she did not work, but it was never enough for her and I finally had it with her and her selfishness. I never understood this whole money issue being a Thai thing. If you marry a poor girl from anywhere you better know her family may need help and why would you have a problem with that if you're a real man? My mother came from a poor working class family and my father who became successful helped my mother's family for years as they struggled. Why wouldn't you? If you can't afford it or don't care enough to do so then don't get involved. It's your choice to make so don't bitch if you choose a poor farm girl as your wife. You're not buying a pet for Christ sake!

Best post in the thread thus far.

I'm in the situation I am now, because I spent my 20s and 30s working my butt off,concentrating on career, saving my pennies.....and every chic back home in Australia during that time was just way too selfish, too many of them arent very feminine in the first place. Look an act like men and then expect you to hand over everything....Australian women just disgust me really.

I dont really understand those that try and make out I couldnt find "love", whatever the hell that is, back home, well go and have a look at them all. Overall asian women are just simply a lot hotter, and for me, Thai or Japanese women the hottest asian women.

I also really really dont understand those that say Thai women are gold diggers....compared to the ones back home?, seriously?

Building the wifes house and renovating the parents house came to 850,000 baht (admittedly me and the father in law did most of the work, but still) compared to the McMansion I would have needed back home for the wife and kids....she saved me a million dollars just on that, thats dollars not baht....let me say that again, a million dollars.....which really actually translates to 2+ million dollars over the next couple of decades as Im not paying off a giant mortgage and have all that extra money to invest

Just over 7 years ago, when it came time to think about having kids, I pretty much ignored what seemingly everyone else on the planet would try to tell me, went for the hottest non-nympho thai girl I could find, yes she was a bargirl (smokin hot, I mean smokin!)....shouldnt really be that hard for a guy to tell the difference between one that is a nympho and one that does want to go back to the village, stay put, make babies....as long as that guy isnt blinded by "love" or whats in his pants

And of course how hot she is, those genes, are very important...very important when those kids grow into adults and they are getting treated better because they are better looking, thats the way the world is

I give her 50K a month, which I thought was generous by TVF standards, but there is one guy in this thread already that has said he gives his 80k a month - but probably lives in Bangkok. Where we are, day to day costs are a lot cheaper

I know 50k a month where she is, is more than she needs, but Im basically paying her to raise my kids for me( I said in the other thread our kids, or her kids, cos lets face it, Ill be dead 30 years before she is) Brought her a whopping big pick up truck, not exactly for her, but because she is going to drive the kids around Thailand. 50K baht a month is just under AU$500 a week, on the generous side...but back home, that wouldnt even cover the mortgage, let alone everything

So I really dont understand what everyone is on about. Have a smokin hot wife, who by looking at the MIL couldnt get overweight if she tried, good lookin kids....and all for at least a million dollars cheaper over a lifetime

So you didn't hire a prostitute.....you hired a surrogate.

Hope the kids are good looking and have a much better personality and outlook on life than their, alleged, father.

[BB1955]

My wife gets no salary she can use what she wants with the understanding that her family gets nothing from my income . She works some and she can send her family " mother " from that money only . Sister , brother , niece nephew , she knows not to give them even her own money ....

[Linden]

Its the way of the world no money no honey.

The contract ends each payment same as it did from day 1.

Good girls marry the boy next door or the boy from school.

Then theres the different one MY ONES DIFFERENT blahblahblah....

[Linden]

Its the way of the world no money no honey.

The contract ends each payment same as it did from day 1.

Good girls marry the boy next door or the boy from school.

Then theres the different one MY ONES DIFFERENT blahblahblah....

[asiaj]

Its quite natural wherever in the world for men to give the woman housekeeping (although my wife calls it her salary) so she can pay for the groceries and not go to your wallet and then you question how much has been taken.

I give my wife 3000bhat on Monday for the week & its gone by Friday ! But she buys the food, pays the water bills, pays for school uniforms etc and i pay the rent & electric.

[hellohello123]

Very admirable that op is aware of the reality of the situation

Very funny how some others think theirs is different even they pay a salary.

Pay a salary! The idea is ludicrous....

[BwindiBoy]

I like the honesty, but I just can't get past your line about shopping for a new woman - I believe we have very different views on how we see and treat women.

[thaiduncankk]

Maybe start a new thread.

'How much pocket money does your wife/girlfriend give you every week' ?

[Suradit69]

Thankfully, my wife is with me because she loves me. I didn't hire a hooker.

Well, in conservative German families it is kind of normal to give the woman allowance money to keep up with the needs and the budget of the household. Seems to be normal way of doing things and best way of budgeting.

Of course this concept sounds alien to some people for different reasons.

Giving your wife/partner money to cover shared household expenses or pay bills that arise from family needs isn't the same as giving someone a salary. A salary is paid by an employer to an employee. I doubt many modern German women would regard their husbands as their employer or appreciate the idea that they were being paid for services rendered.

[laislica]

The concept of a "housekeeping allowance" goes back centuries. Google it.

Anyway, I am the sole income earner and pay for everything. The Mrs doesn't get paid an allowance, however I give her cash (or she helps herself), and she has her own bank accounts.

Let's get one thing straight here, our partners deserve to have their own money.

Spot on Sipi.

1971, My first wife, a lady from the UK said she needed to have an allowance because that's how her folks did it.

A tin with compartments for Bread, papers, gas, electricity, food etc.

It's how they controlled their budgets.

I didn't want that, we had joint accounts and she spent what she needed.

In the 70's supermarkets had very aggressive pricing policies and reductions on things like sugar, coffee etc. to get you into their store.

One day, when shopping with her friends, coffee was very reduced so she bought 3 jars.

Her friend said she wished she could do that to save money but she was saving from the food allowance to buy a dress that she wanted. Sad.

And another thing.

When you dole money out to your g/f or wife, it's still "Your money"!

She will not feel responsible for it, it's not hers and there's always more where that came from.....

Give her plenty, fill her bank account and remind her that the pension stops when you die.

As I am also the only earner, I tell her that it's Our money, not My money.

Suddenly the penny drops and it's "Her money".

Handouts to family (and friends) start to dry up somewhat and the Wat gets less than they did.

Well, that's been my experience, but then I'm lucky, I got a goodun! 555, but then again, so did she!

[Andyfez]

Yes I do virtually the same, however I also add a figure "on top' every month specifically for food shopping.

[jacko45k]

I do, she does not have a paying job but does voluntary work.

[mikiea]

A refreshingly honest approach. It seems that many relationships here have a transactional basis. Quite sensible to be open and realistic about this.

yes , it seems like the correct thing to do , pay your ho a working wage . keep her dependent on old "whitey" . boost her self esteem by handing her cash every week because she is so "special" . dude you are 3 beer's short of a 12 pack . your lady and her girlfriends are laughing about how enlightened you think you are . partners do not pay each other cash . if you are secure in feelings on this i suggest you put her name on your bank account . what's that ? no ? i did not think so , it is time to see thing for what they truly are . your gfriend knows the score .

[Kwasaki]

Strange thread this to me, we have always had a join bank account and just take out what we need at any time individually.

[anglesea]

I took a similar approach to PT4.

My new girlfriend worked at a massage shop (not sexy) I enquired about her earnings, did my calculations and asked her how much she would like in salary if she lived with me and 'take care. She asked for 25k bart to start with, quickly backed down to $20k and I offered $15k which I understood was the Pattaya rate - some pay a bit more. This was accepted. I also buy all the food, clothing, make up etc and gifts from time to time. It's a good deal for me as she take care and cleans, cooks etc and is careful with money.

[mikiea]

I do, she does not have a paying job but does voluntary work.

bwhaaa haaa haaa yea right ...............

[anglesea]

I also should have said, when I was married back in Australia, the housekeeping I paid from my salary was a lot more than that I I didn't get as much 'take care' etc

[mikiea]

A woman taking a regular weekly/monthly salary in return for her company is a prostitute on retainer and, as such, not worthy of the description, "girlfriend"

A wife sitting at home doing nothing when she's capable of maintaining an honest job is pretty much the same.

ehhh.... not so fast there charlie , she has the title of "wife" makes all the difference in the world . a gfriend you pay on a weekly basics is what you call a "ho" . you have one of those do ya ? its ok , many of us do . a ho by any other name is still a ho ......

[F4UCorsair]

...I just am paying her a salary [referring to his wife]

​That comment by "uthaithanirules" (on another topic) started me thinking. So many expats report problems with wives & girlfriends about money. Thinking in terms of a salary is a practical solution.

​

​Who else pays a fixed salary or allowance? How much do you pay and what does it cover?

​Personally, I am partial to this approach because:

​

​1. The woman can depend on fixed salary/allowance every week or every month.

​

​2. She doesn't have to beg or cajole every time she wants money for something.

​

3. You don't have to put up with repeated begging and cajoling for money.

​

​4. It puts you in a position of "boss". Thai women understand that.

​

There is one other benefit -- the most important, to my way of thinking -- which I'll mention below.

In the past when I had a steady Thai girlfriend I gave her a weekly allowance. We did not live together -- she had her own room. She worked in an ordinary, neighborhood massage shop (not sexy massage). From that job she paid her own living expenses and sent money to support mother and daughter in Korat. ​Just barely support, but they didn't starve.

​

​Before starting to pay her a salary I thought a lot about how much. Here is what I came up with. If you can improve on my thinking, please do.

​

​My goal was to improve her life significantly, so she would be eager to "take care" of me. But not so much that she would slack off her day job, or quit working and try to move in with me. So my plan was to pay 2/3 of the amount of her day job. At the margin, that would improve her life greatly.

​

​So I gently started inquiring about her total monthly "take home" -- commissions + tips. And, to verify, I asked other women working in other, similar shops. (This was 10 years ago, so amounts will seem low today.) Monthly average was around 10,000, verified by others. That put me in for 6-7,000/month. Fine.

​

​Most Thais get paid monthly. Tips, if any, arrive daily. I decided to fill in the gap and pay weekly. In this case, 1,500 baht every week.

​

She was delighted, of course. And I'm sure she bragged to her co-workers, because soon they were looking at me with much more interest than before.

​

​What did it cover? Entirely up to her. I never asked.

And whenever we were together I still paid for everything: meals, entertainment, travel, etc. When we went to the beach, I bought her a T-shirt with a beach scene, plus "kannom" snacks to take back to her friends at work. One day, she called to say she would be late to meet for lunch, because her fan had "died" and she must take the Skytrain to Lotus and get a new fan. I said, we'll go to Lotus together, I'll pay for the fan, we'll have lunch there, and then we'll return in a taxi to bring the new fan to your room.

​

That approach worked beautifully over several years. Never an argument about money.

​

​Now the rest of the story:

​

​5. Parting ways is easy for you -- just stop paying the salary.

​

​When time came to split up, she understood my weekly payments would stop. Sad, yes, but nothing more from her: no threats, no arguments, no shouting, nothing damaged in my room.

Of course, with a wife and children, different story: #5 may not apply.

​

​Would I do it again? Yes. Is it a fair way to treat a Thai woman from a poor background? It is a way they understand clearly. Getting Thai women from poor backgrounds to understand managing money is often a challenge.

​

Now, I'm starting to shop for a new lady friend (preferably another country girl) and planning to use the same approach. How might it be improved? ​Your thoughtful comments and critique, please.

​

[uthaithanirules]

So you didn't hire a prostitute.....you hired a surrogate.

Hope the kids are good looking and have a much better personality and outlook on life than their, alleged, father.

But why then this kind of reaction from you....and some other guys

I dont go along with the act, dont use the correct phrasing other guys might want to hear.

The way I say it might come off cold or shallow.

If Im the one thats "wrong", why is it the other guy with the sulky look on his face, the pissy reaction, oh well arent you mimimimimimi

OK, you or some other guy want to put it that way, I hired a surrogate, whilst they are obviously superior because they are in a magical partnership where she doesnt care about money

How does that make a difference to reality? The wifes is going to care more about the kids than the husband, money is how you pay for stuff. Whatever phrases you use to describe it, how would that make it more or less likely I would be there to stick around to support the wife and kids for longer compared to any of these other guys using magical fairytale phrases

I'm kind of wondering how many guys out there now, that end up shelling out pretty much the same amount I do or more, and dont even know, because they dont keep track of it, or dont want to know because theyd rather stay in make believe fairytale land

[stgrhe]

No, we have common economy and this has worked very well for ten years now.

[jacko45k]

I do, she does not have a paying job but does voluntary work.

bwhaaa haaa haaa yea right ...............

If you are inferring something, just say it.

I will try to respond to something in English.