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BANGKOK 24 May 2019 04:11

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my girlfriend says she cannot manage on 25000 month

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I think you should get off your ass and go there and spend a few months there yourself! Times have changed when we were young and even in Thailand, today kids need what we had and a hundred times more! Sure she could be ripping you off only you know her? Do you think she is doing that?

For whatever reason women in Thailand have been condition to think they must be the bread winners for their parents while in general the guys do nothing. I would be surprise if she isn't helping the parents in some form. Thailand isn't the West!

What I can tell you and I've been in your position asking the same question from afar wondering at the same time I have plenty of money to spend on myself while someone else is raising the kids. Each day whether you are there or not, the more she is married to you or not she becomes more like a farang. She and your kids need the same things you wish for yourself otherwise she might have married and have kids by a useless Thai !

I hear this a lot and it is their opinion that living in Isaan one does not need as much money! I think you have to live there been there in your shoes to know. Looking at the amount you are sending the number of kids and her surrounding I would disagree she is socking a lot of money away on you. Reality thing breakdown, people get sick, kids need toys, clothes, etc... I really need to go on and explain it to you and everyone. Prices are cheaper for some things but not many. What the prices are at Big C, in Bangkok or Pattaya aren't much different in Isaan, car, motorbike, gas, etc.. I've been there particularly in Sukhothai.

You took on the responsibility so do so! Not saying you should now send 100,000 a month. But you might want to cut back on the coffee, beer, etc.. luxury each day you most likely enjoy but don't consider it to be? The money you save you be surprise could translate addition 5,000 or 10,000 baht a month without a loss in your enjoyment!

Thai teachers, some with more kids than her, survive on a lot less than 25,000 baht a month. The kids do not suffer, and most of these families lead quite a comfortable life.

So my advice to her is, to get off her big fat Arse and get a job, if not, go back on the game.

The reality is this... she isn't with a Thai Teacher, living in a Thai matter? She is with a foreigner if she wanted to live like a Thai why in the hell did she have two kids with him. Having two kids with a foreigner the expectation here is to have a better life. Just last year a MP, was quoted in a interview in the Bangkok Post in regards to Isaan women. " if you want a better life marry a foreigner " The truth hurts that is why after the interview he was removed from his office!

The problem is your western thinking trying to apply it here in Thailand. If she was making a living in a bar/go-go, making for example 40,000 a month and someone falls in love with her and want her out of the business. You think love is going to make everything right for her and her family? Most of the time the guy think it does? In Asia, sure love exist but in general unless it is a better or easier life they might as well stick to their own kind. This is a tough concept for foreigners to accept! Sure you might be right get her fat ass back to work, but the BM took that away when he locked her up with two more kids! End of story for me!

For your information, she has ONE kid by him.

Can I ask please why you think she was "on the game" as you so rudely put it. Have you met her

It ain't rocket science, is it ?

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Thai men won't go near a woman who has a kid from someone else; only dumb ass foreigners do.

I've met counterexamples from princes to artisans.

Can I ask please why you think she was "on the game" as you so rudely put it.

It fits the stereotypes. One wonders why the OP keeps his girlfriend in Thailand. Long distance relationships are not convenient.

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I think you should get off your ass and go there and spend a few months there yourself! Times have changed when we were young and even in Thailand, today kids need what we had and a hundred times more! Sure she could be ripping you off only you know her? Do you think she is doing that?

For whatever reason women in Thailand have been condition to think they must be the bread winners for their parents while in general the guys do nothing. I would be surprise if she isn't helping the parents in some form. Thailand isn't the West!

What I can tell you and I've been in your position asking the same question from afar wondering at the same time I have plenty of money to spend on myself while someone else is raising the kids. Each day whether you are there or not, the more she is married to you or not she becomes more like a farang. She and your kids need the same things you wish for yourself otherwise she might have married and have kids by a useless Thai !

I hear this a lot and it is their opinion that living in Isaan one does not need as much money! I think you have to live there been there in your shoes to know. Looking at the amount you are sending the number of kids and her surrounding I would disagree she is socking a lot of money away on you. Reality thing breakdown, people get sick, kids need toys, clothes, etc... I really need to go on and explain it to you and everyone. Prices are cheaper for some things but not many. What the prices are at Big C, in Bangkok or Pattaya aren't much different in Isaan, car, motorbike, gas, etc.. I've been there particularly in Sukhothai.

You took on the responsibility so do so! Not saying you should now send 100,000 a month. But you might want to cut back on the coffee, beer, etc.. luxury each day you most likely enjoy but don't consider it to be? The money you save you be surprise could translate addition 5,000 or 10,000 baht a month without a loss in your enjoyment!

Thai teachers, some with more kids than her, survive on a lot less than 25,000 baht a month. The kids do not suffer, and most of these families lead quite a comfortable life.

So my advice to her is, to get off her big fat Arse and get a job, if not, go back on the game.

The reality is this... she isn't with a Thai Teacher, living in a Thai matter? She is with a foreigner if she wanted to live like a Thai why in the hell did she have two kids with him. Having two kids with a foreigner the expectation here is to have a better life. Just last year a MP, was quoted in a interview in the Bangkok Post in regards to Isaan women. " if you want a better life marry a foreigner " The truth hurts that is why after the interview he was removed from his office!

The problem is your western thinking trying to apply it here in Thailand. If she was making a living in a bar/go-go, making for example 40,000 a month and someone falls in love with her and want her out of the business. You think love is going to make everything right for her and her family? Most of the time the guy think it does? In Asia, sure love exist but in general unless it is a better or easier life they might as well stick to their own kind. This is a tough concept for foreigners to accept! Sure you might be right get her fat ass back to work, but the BM took that away when he locked her up with two more kids! End of story for me!

For your information, she has ONE kid by him.

Can I ask please why you think she was "on the game" as you so rudely put it. Have you met her

It ain't rocket science, is it ?

Yes this isn't rocket science, Please point or quote where I've said she was " on the game " as I rudely put it. Maybe you ought to go back the 10 plus pages and read again because if you want to see remarks on whether she was on the game or not and being rude, I can say I've written and put myself out there more than anyone on this subject. I've been hard on the BM, but he had the balls to remark to me that he like the posting I have made on his subject. Whether I feel he is right or wrong this fact let's me know whatever his reason and he hasn't said for not marrying her and not being in Thailand or his home country I'm sure he has reasons. As I noted shit happens? In the end, I feel he will do the right thing.

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When I hear " Temple visits are reserves for funeral " I say you got to be kidding right! Where have you been and where are you living under a rock?

I've visited Temples throughout Thailand and here in Pattaya, have you seen the Temples there are more here than government offices throughout Thailand! I've heard and seen things in the country but this statement is really funny!

I've tried to be polite and answer all your simple and silly questions that is coming from someone who just doesn't hear what they want from someone else experience. Let me be polite let's just part ways with " agree to disagree " have a good day.

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When I hear " Temple visits are reserves for funeral " I say you got to be kidding right! Where have you been and where are you living under a rock?

I've visited Temples throughout Thailand and here in Pattaya, have you seen the Temples there are more here than government offices throughout Thailand! I've heard and seen things in the country but this statement is really funny!

I've tried to be polite and answer all your simple and silly questions that is coming from someone who just doesn't hear what they want from someone else experience. Let me be polite let's just part ways with " agree to disagree " have a good day.

When I first came here in 1991, as a tourist, I did the temple visits as it was the 'thing to do'.

As buildings, I must confess, a lot of them were very impressive, as far as the spiritual side of it goes, every man for himself.

Now, when you go back to the U.S of A, do you frequently visit places of worship there ? Or is it more a case of been there, done it, got the T shirt etc.

It also makes me laugh, how someone wants to be soooooo Thai rather than the farang he was born, probably feels ashamed to be a farang, and lives in...........................PATTAYA !

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Her job is being a mother to his children. The reason she is with him is because she doesn't have to get a job! It she had to get a job why would she be with him.

I seem to recall my mother achieved both, and here in Thailand the extended family should make that somewhat easier.

She is with him for the 25k she does get, soon to be more, which helps to fill her time.

If you recall that then you should also recall your mother doesn't live in Thailand. Which has nothing to do with the Thai culture. People have this thing that Asian culture extended family is going to solve everything it helps but it is not what all thing is suppose to be?

If you haven't read the BM has made a decision as to what he plans to do. What I have got from this conversation is lots of people throw out solution they have heard or read about and think it should apply here. What I've learn from my experience it doesn't in general.

m

A BM, ask if I live here. My answer is I've lived here close to 15 years, 5 of those were in Sukhothai in a farm owned by my wife family. We have a son together and when we first met in Sukhothai she was 7 month pregnant. Her first husband died before she knew she was pregnant and he was bored premature with only a 50/50 chance of survival. I was there for the birth and I'm the only father he knows. Several years ago I was finally able to complete the adoption. I treat and look at him as my really son.

All the things I express and what I know the BM will experience in the future I've gone through already and much much more. I wish him the best but he needs to brace himself as to what will come.

Yes very magnanimous and heart wrenching.

But is it relevant to the OP?

Your post seems to be a particular situation you felt obliged to tell all of, but not what was asked.

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Due to the continued petty bickering, I think this has run its course.

CLOSED. mfr_closed1.gif

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