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How much dowry/sin sot are you supposed to pay for your wife's hand?


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When my partner (male) and I got married in a village ceremony in 2013, his Mum wanted 200,000฿. I said: Well I'm already building you a house costing me 1.5M. What do you want, house or dowry?

There was much cackling of laughter at this and we settled on 100,000. All fine.

I'm surprised she had the nerve to ask. I'm surprised you were foolish enough to shell out anything on top of US $50K, or even that you copped that.

I guess different people have different views on what's important in life, and on how to maintain a marriage, and on how to live in a foreign culture ...

I guess different people want to be ripped off by mercenary in laws.

I've lived in several Asian countries, Indonesia, Cambodia, Japan, and respect their culture, but I don't have to adopt it, e.g., in Japan I refused to bow to anyone, and asked that they not bow to me. I felt uncomfortable having people bowing. It's just not my culture. Even the Japanese realize it's an anachronistic practice, and it happens less often in modern Japan.

In Indonesia, and Thailand, I'm happy not to point as westerners do with a forefinger, summon somebody with my hand pointing upwards, or point my feet toward anyone, because they feel it's offensive. I can't subscribe to the dowry/sin sod thing because whilst there is nothing offensive about it to them, it is offensive TO ME!!! They don't seem to respect my culture????

If a westerner has to continually shell out to maintain his marriage, he's nuts, and the wife/family is using him as an ATM.

Go ahead suckers, pay a fortune for a (perhaps former, if you're lucky) bar girl. It's not my way.

Interesting how many correspondents on this site do such a wonderful impression of being mean, miserable and malevolent old men, boasting of their cynicism and selfishness. I suppose it's just part of the usual cocktail circuit routine and in real life they're really kind, gentle and generous husbands and fathers.

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Many of the posts here make it sound like a Dowry (Sin-Sod) in Thailand is some crazy Thai Trick that Thai Women use to screw more money out of you, like a Bar Girl asking for Lady Drinks. Yet they plan to Marry her.

Try to understand this! A Sin Sod is a Thai Tradition that goes back Centuries. It is not some crazy trick invented by the Mother-in-law to screw more money out of the Farang. This Thai Tradition applies equally to a Farang and his Thai Bride as it does to a Thai Man and his Thai Bride. There is no set figure on what the Sin Sod should be just like there is no set figure in how much one should spend in the West on and Engagement Ring, as it depends a lot on what you can afford and how rich they are.

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary. I know people spend less than that but this is the standard rule of thumb. For a Sin Sod (Dowry) the standard rule of thumb is between 3 months to 5 months salary. But then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family. .

Again this is only a Standard Rule. If you were marrying someone more wealthy then you would be expected to spend more on a Sin Sod. Just like you would be expected to do if you married someone more wealthy in the West and was buying an Engagement Ring. See! Same Same! Only Different!

It should also be noted that the Dowry (Sin Sod) was not invented by the Thais. In fact there are many more countries and people in the world who pay a Dowry now then the ones that don't, and like in the West. Most, if not all, Arab Countries pay a Dowry. As does India and also China. I am sure there are plenty more countries but with these countries this takes well over 66% of the worlds population. Here is a LINK about China and there men not affording to be able to pay the $24,000 for a Bride.

http://qz.com/92267/in-a-reversal-of-the-dowry-chinese-men-pay-a-steep-price-for-their-brides/

It is these guys that come here to this threat and boast that they did not pay a Sin Sod, like they are some hero, that is actually sickening. It would be like me going to a Western Form and bragging how I didn't buy my Wife and Engagement or Wedding Ring, but instead used a Bread Wrapper Twist Tie as her ring. You certainly give the rest of us a Bad Name and fully earn my vote as "Cheap Charlie".

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary.

No offence intended, have you ever been in Thailand?

What standard is that that you refer to?

Engagement ring, heck the majority of Thai dont wear a wedding ring never mind an engagement ring, unless of course you refer to the HiSois in Thong Lor.

then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family.

How much time have you actually spent upcountry, 200k baht, thats 2 years wages for your average Somchai.

pay a Dowry. As does India

You forgot to mention, in India, the girls parents pay you.

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Many of the posts here make it sound like a Dowry (Sin-Sod) in Thailand is some crazy Thai Trick that Thai Women use to screw more money out of you, like a Bar Girl asking for Lady Drinks. Yet they plan to Marry her.

Try to understand this! A Sin Sod is a Thai Tradition that goes back Centuries. It is not some crazy trick invented by the Mother-in-law to screw more money out of the Farang. This Thai Tradition applies equally to a Farang and his Thai Bride as it does to a Thai Man and his Thai Bride. There is no set figure on what the Sin Sod should be just like there is no set figure in how much one should spend in the West on and Engagement Ring, as it depends a lot on what you can afford and how rich they are.

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary. I know people spend less than that but this is the standard rule of thumb. For a Sin Sod (Dowry) the standard rule of thumb is between 3 months to 5 months salary. But then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family. .

Again this is only a Standard Rule. If you were marrying someone more wealthy then you would be expected to spend more on a Sin Sod. Just like you would be expected to do if you married someone more wealthy in the West and was buying an Engagement Ring. See! Same Same! Only Different!

It should also be noted that the Dowry (Sin Sod) was not invented by the Thais. In fact there are many more countries and people in the world who pay a Dowry now then the ones that don't, and like in the West. Most, if not all, Arab Countries pay a Dowry. As does India and also China. I am sure there are plenty more countries but with these countries this takes well over 66% of the worlds population. Here is a LINK about China and there men not affording to be able to pay the $24,000 for a Bride.

http://qz.com/92267/in-a-reversal-of-the-dowry-chinese-men-pay-a-steep-price-for-their-brides/

It is these guys that come here to this threat and boast that they did not pay a Sin Sod, like they are some hero, that is actually sickening. It would be like me going to a Western Form and bragging how I didn't buy my Wife and Engagement or Wedding Ring, but instead used a Bread Wrapper Twist Tie as her ring. You certainly give the rest of us a Bad Name and fully earn my vote as "Cheap Charlie".

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary.

No offence intended, have you ever been in Thailand?

What standard is that that you refer to?

Engagement ring, heck the majority of Thai dont wear a wedding ring never mind an engagement ring, unless of course you refer to the HiSois in Thong Lor.

then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family.

How much time have you actually spent upcountry, 200k baht, thats 2 years wages for your average Somchai.

pay a Dowry. As does India

You forgot to mention, in India, the girls parents pay you.

Looks like Goldbuggy is another clueless Thai expert that visited a couple of times and knows everything.

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I'm surprised she had the nerve to ask. I'm surprised you were foolish enough to shell out anything on top of US $50K, or even that you copped that.

I guess different people have different views on what's important in life, and on how to maintain a marriage, and on how to live in a foreign culture ...

Interesting how many correspondents on this site do such a wonderful impression of being mean, miserable and malevolent old men, boasting of their cynicism and selfishness. I suppose it's just part of the usual cocktail circuit routine and in real life they're really kind, gentle and generous husbands and fathers.

Interesting how many correspondents on this site do such a wonderful impression of being generous young/er men boasting of their positivity and selflessness. I suppose it just another part of being caught up in the excitement of living in another country, wanting to be Thai (but never will be), observing ridiculous, anachronistic customs (probably wai-ing to the janitor and security guy??) suckered in for their $$ and not realizing it, but in real life they have been miserable sons of bitches, now looking for a new start, and what better way than to start in a less developed country by splashing $$ around, big noting and full of self importance???

If you have to 'maintain' a marriage by contributing bulk $$ to the 'bride's' family, that's buying favor, not maintaining a marriage.

If a bar girl is not worth paying sin sod for, nor a woman who has been married or had kids, then I'd have to question the wisdom, perhaps stupidity, of paying even one satang for another man, presumably not a 'virgin', one of the criteria for hefty sin sod. Your choice though.

Sin sod/dowry, whatever you want to call it, is an outdated custom, imposed by selfish and greedy prospective in laws. If you feel the need to be part of it, go ahead, regardless of the fact that it is not YOUR custom, which she, and they, fail to recognize or observe, and you permit them to ride roughshod over you, squeezing your resources out of you. If that's part of living in a foreign culture, you have not only been taken for a ride on sin sod, but on what it means to live in a foreign culture!!

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Many of the posts here make it sound like a Dowry (Sin-Sod) in Thailand is some crazy Thai Trick that Thai Women use to screw more money out of you, like a Bar Girl asking for Lady Drinks. Yet they plan to Marry her.

Try to understand this! A Sin Sod is a Thai Tradition that goes back Centuries. It is not some crazy trick invented by the Mother-in-law to screw more money out of the Farang. This Thai Tradition applies equally to a Farang and his Thai Bride as it does to a Thai Man and his Thai Bride. There is no set figure on what the Sin Sod should be just like there is no set figure in how much one should spend in the West on and Engagement Ring, as it depends a lot on what you can afford and how rich they are.

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary. I know people spend less than that but this is the standard rule of thumb. For a Sin Sod (Dowry) the standard rule of thumb is between 3 months to 5 months salary. But then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family. .

Again this is only a Standard Rule. If you were marrying someone more wealthy then you would be expected to spend more on a Sin Sod. Just like you would be expected to do if you married someone more wealthy in the West and was buying an Engagement Ring. See! Same Same! Only Different!

It should also be noted that the Dowry (Sin Sod) was not invented by the Thais. In fact there are many more countries and people in the world who pay a Dowry now then the ones that don't, and like in the West. Most, if not all, Arab Countries pay a Dowry. As does India and also China. I am sure there are plenty more countries but with these countries this takes well over 66% of the worlds population. Here is a LINK about China and there men not affording to be able to pay the $24,000 for a Bride.

http://qz.com/92267/in-a-reversal-of-the-dowry-chinese-men-pay-a-steep-price-for-their-brides/

It is these guys that come here to this threat and boast that they did not pay a Sin Sod, like they are some hero, that is actually sickening. It would be like me going to a Western Form and bragging how I didn't buy my Wife and Engagement or Wedding Ring, but instead used a Bread Wrapper Twist Tie as her ring. You certainly give the rest of us a Bad Name and fully earn my vote as "Cheap Charlie".

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary.

No offence intended, have you ever been in Thailand?

What standard is that that you refer to?

Engagement ring, heck the majority of Thai dont wear a wedding ring never mind an engagement ring, unless of course you refer to the HiSois in Thong Lor.

then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family.

How much time have you actually spent upcountry, 200k baht, thats 2 years wages for your average Somchai.

pay a Dowry. As does India

You forgot to mention, in India, the girls parents pay you.

You may be correct that you don't see village-Thais wearing rings, however when attending typical village marriages up Isaan, also engagement rings and wedding rings, both often with diamonds, are part of the agreed sin sot. The same in the South, where I live. At the moment a typical North East village farmer-family average sin sot seem to be in the level 100,000 baht and up, 150,000 baht to 200,000 baht is quite normal – and I talk from experience. If it's based on some calculation from a monthly salary, I got no idea – from my experience it's purely based on negotiation between families, and social status including make face.

My last Thai-Thai Isaan-village farmer wedding in 2011 – close family, I was present as guest – 120,000 baht sin sot, plus 3 baht gold and diamond wedding ring. Before that, diamond engagement ring and one baht of gold.

A close farang-friend recently got married to a Thai up North of Isaan, and paid 300,000 sin sot, plus diamond ring, and plus some baht gold; on top 25 percent down payment for a car and a 3 million baht house that may/may-not be part of the wedding negotiations.

Next week another relative, small 15yo cousin of my GF, is going to be Thai-Thai married; "poor" farmer families, sin sot is agreed to 180,000 baht, but I don't know if there's also agreed for any gold and diamonds, the engagement party is the day before the wedding ceremony, so probably some gifts will be given...

Most of the Isaan-girls/ladies I know talks presently about sin sot in level 200,000 baht to 300,000 baht...whistling.gif

And by the way – you mention India as example – in the Northern part of Europe where I originates from, the bride-to-be parents pays dowry to "get rid of the girls" – same same, but different...biggrin.png

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Wikipedia:

Dowry: Uneeded but welcome funds paid by a dopey man to a bloodsucking flea at the prodding of her useless relatives.

Wikipedia

Wedding Ring: An expensive stone and what a Foolish Western Man gives to his new Western Wife on Wedding Day, plus half of the money he has ever earned and property in his life time, when Divorce Day comes 6 years later. Plus huge monthly payments for every child of this marriage which he has very little say in there upbringing now or even help choose the new husband for his x-wife. .

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Many of the posts here make it sound like a Dowry (Sin-Sod) in Thailand is some crazy Thai Trick that Thai Women use to screw more money out of you, like a Bar Girl asking for Lady Drinks. Yet they plan to Marry her.

Try to understand this! A Sin Sod is a Thai Tradition that goes back Centuries. It is not some crazy trick invented by the Mother-in-law to screw more money out of the Farang. This Thai Tradition applies equally to a Farang and his Thai Bride as it does to a Thai Man and his Thai Bride. There is no set figure on what the Sin Sod should be just like there is no set figure in how much one should spend in the West on and Engagement Ring, as it depends a lot on what you can afford and how rich they are.

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary. I know people spend less than that but this is the standard rule of thumb. For a Sin Sod (Dowry) the standard rule of thumb is between 3 months to 5 months salary. But then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family. .

Again this is only a Standard Rule. If you were marrying someone more wealthy then you would be expected to spend more on a Sin Sod. Just like you would be expected to do if you married someone more wealthy in the West and was buying an Engagement Ring. See! Same Same! Only Different!

It should also be noted that the Dowry (Sin Sod) was not invented by the Thais. In fact there are many more countries and people in the world who pay a Dowry now then the ones that don't, and like in the West. Most, if not all, Arab Countries pay a Dowry. As does India and also China. I am sure there are plenty more countries but with these countries this takes well over 66% of the worlds population. Here is a LINK about China and there men not affording to be able to pay the $24,000 for a Bride.

http://qz.com/92267/in-a-reversal-of-the-dowry-chinese-men-pay-a-steep-price-for-their-brides/

It is these guys that come here to this threat and boast that they did not pay a Sin Sod, like they are some hero, that is actually sickening. It would be like me going to a Western Form and bragging how I didn't buy my Wife and Engagement or Wedding Ring, but instead used a Bread Wrapper Twist Tie as her ring. You certainly give the rest of us a Bad Name and fully earn my vote as "Cheap Charlie".

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary.

No offence intended, have you ever been in Thailand?

What standard is that that you refer to?

Engagement ring, heck the majority of Thai dont wear a wedding ring never mind an engagement ring, unless of course you refer to the HiSois in Thong Lor.

then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family.

How much time have you actually spent upcountry, 200k baht, thats 2 years wages for your average Somchai.

pay a Dowry. As does India

You forgot to mention, in India, the girls parents pay you.

Looks like Goldbuggy is another clueless Thai expert that visited a couple of times and knows everything.

Just shows me how little you know about me. I have lived here a long time. I have also lived in more countries of the world than you can count. What I have learnt from that is that if you want to get along and in peace you need to follow there rules and customs. Or as they say: "When in Rome, do what the Romans do.".

This is not New York, or Frankfurt, or Sydney, or London. This is Thailand! So if you are marrying a Thai Woman here you should follow her custom here. If you can't do that or follow the rules here, then go back to London as you don't belong here.

Personally I don't care what you do or what you do with your money. If you want to be a Cheap Charlie so you can sit at the bar in the morning alone and drink more beer then fine. You don't have to try and justify why you are a Cheap Charlie to me. Nobody cares! Including me!

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GOLDBUGGY said........Just shows me how little you know about me. I have lived here a long time. I have also lived in more countries of the world than you can count. What I have learnt from that is that if you want to get along and in peace you need to follow there rules and customs. Or as they say: "When in Rome, do what the Romans do.".

Bit what you HAVEN'T learny GB, is that in most of those countries, the dowry is paid by the woman's parents to the prospective groom!!!

That's quite the opposite of what occurs in Thailand, where parents 'selling' their daughter could be seen as human trafficking, or a man buying a daughter as prostitution.

How is it different making one large upfront payment, versus a pay as you use/go system used by grubby old western men?? The only difference is the grubs have variety.

If you spend money on buying a wife, and choose to be delusional about the reasons, I care not.

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GOLDBUGGY said........Just shows me how little you know about me. I have lived here a long time. I have also lived in more countries of the world than you can count. What I have learnt from that is that if you want to get along and in peace you need to follow there rules and customs. Or as they say: "When in Rome, do what the Romans do.".

Bit what you HAVEN'T learny GB, is that in most of those countries, the dowry is paid by the woman's parents to the prospective groom!!!

That's quite the opposite of what occurs in Thailand, where parents 'selling' their daughter could be seen as human trafficking, or a man buying a daughter as prostitution.

How is it different making one large upfront payment, versus a pay as you use/go system used by grubby old western men?? The only difference is the grubs have variety.

If you spend money on buying a wife, and choose to be delusional about the reasons, I care not.

Nonsense! You obviously have never been to Africa or Arabia, or most Asian Countries.

If you want my own personal view on all this I personally don't think people should have to pay for Engagement or Wedding Rings, or an expensive Wedding Dress, or a Si Sod or Dowry, or even have a Wedding Party.

The Wedding Party shouldn't take place until after 25 years of marriage. Anyone can get married but very few make it with there partner to 25 years, which is something worth celebrating.

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Many of the posts here make it sound like a Dowry (Sin-Sod) in Thailand is some crazy Thai Trick that Thai Women use to screw more money out of you, like a Bar Girl asking for Lady Drinks. Yet they plan to Marry her.

Try to understand this! A Sin Sod is a Thai Tradition that goes back Centuries. It is not some crazy trick invented by the Mother-in-law to screw more money out of the Farang. This Thai Tradition applies equally to a Farang and his Thai Bride as it does to a Thai Man and his Thai Bride. There is no set figure on what the Sin Sod should be just like there is no set figure in how much one should spend in the West on and Engagement Ring, as it depends a lot on what you can afford and how rich they are.

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary. I know people spend less than that but this is the standard rule of thumb. For a Sin Sod (Dowry) the standard rule of thumb is between 3 months to 5 months salary. But then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family. .

Again this is only a Standard Rule. If you were marrying someone more wealthy then you would be expected to spend more on a Sin Sod. Just like you would be expected to do if you married someone more wealthy in the West and was buying an Engagement Ring. See! Same Same! Only Different!

It should also be noted that the Dowry (Sin Sod) was not invented by the Thais. In fact there are many more countries and people in the world who pay a Dowry now then the ones that don't, and like in the West. Most, if not all, Arab Countries pay a Dowry. As does India and also China. I am sure there are plenty more countries but with these countries this takes well over 66% of the worlds population. Here is a LINK about China and there men not affording to be able to pay the $24,000 for a Bride.

http://qz.com/92267/in-a-reversal-of-the-dowry-chinese-men-pay-a-steep-price-for-their-brides/

It is these guys that come here to this threat and boast that they did not pay a Sin Sod, like they are some hero, that is actually sickening. It would be like me going to a Western Form and bragging how I didn't buy my Wife and Engagement or Wedding Ring, but instead used a Bread Wrapper Twist Tie as her ring. You certainly give the rest of us a Bad Name and fully earn my vote as "Cheap Charlie".

For an Engagement Ring the standard for that is 3 months salary.

No offence intended, have you ever been in Thailand?

What standard is that that you refer to?

Engagement ring, heck the majority of Thai dont wear a wedding ring never mind an engagement ring, unless of course you refer to the HiSois in Thong Lor.

then I think anywhere from 150,000 Baht to 200,000 Baht would be acceptable in most parts and a normal Thai Family.

How much time have you actually spent upcountry, 200k baht, thats 2 years wages for your average Somchai.

pay a Dowry. As does India

You forgot to mention, in India, the girls parents pay you.

Looks like Goldbuggy is another clueless Thai expert that visited a couple of times and knows everything.

Just shows me how little you know about me. I have lived here a long time. I have also lived in more countries of the world than you can count. What I have learnt from that is that if you want to get along and in peace you need to follow there rules and customs. Or as they say: "When in Rome, do what the Romans do.".

This is not New York, or Frankfurt, or Sydney, or London. This is Thailand! So if you are marrying a Thai Woman here you should follow her custom here. If you can't do that or follow the rules here, then go back to London as you don't belong here.

Personally I don't care what you do or what you do with your money. If you want to be a Cheap Charlie so you can sit at the bar in the morning alone and drink more beer then fine. You don't have to try and justify why you are a Cheap Charlie to me. Nobody cares! Including me!

"When in Rome, do what the Romans do.".

Thank you couldnt have summed it up better.

However its not us you need to convince, its Little Lek and her family upcountry.

If Little Lek chooses to marry a Roman she should at least respect his culture, she is now involved in a cross cultural relationship that involves compromise and give and take on both sides.

If she has the Thaiway or Highway attitude, perhaps she should marry a Thai.

(oh sorry she cant, no decent Thai guy from a regular family wants anything to do with her).

Personally I am glad I didnt dump my farang values in the bin at London Heathrow before leaving, in fact the longer I stay here the more inclined I am to believe I am correct.

Not only that I actually meet Thai people who agree.

If you want to drive drunk, do so.

If you want to drive with no license and insurance, do so.

If you choose to spend your money on whisky and lottery tickets, do so.

If you choose not to educate your kids, have at.

If your pension plan includes selling a daughter, have at it.

If you choose not to have health insurance, please do so.

Just dont expect me to buy into (no pun intended) your way of thinking.

I dont need to fly half way round the world to meet these sort of people, they already exist in farangistan, you may know them as White Trash or Trailer Trash.

You don't have to try and justify why you are a Cheap Charlie to me. Nobody cares! Including me!

Whoosh, I can see in all your time here its went completely over your head, its nothing to do with money, its about respect and lack of, its about being treated like a mug.

If you choose to be a cuckold, have at it, nobody cares including me.

Farang I know got shoit of his mrs for not wai ing her ex (Thai) husband.

The same guy she said was nothing more than a wife beating alkie womaniser.

In all your time here you will have sussed out, you wai up the way, not down, if anything the ex husband should have waied the farang.

Never mind, next please, the airport is full of mugs arriving everyday only to keen and eager to believe the BS these girls and their families pass of as Thainess.

As they say here, up to you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It depends largely on these factor....

(For Thai guy to marry a girl here)

1.How rich u r and how much u earn..

2.How rich her family is and how much she earns

3.Age, looks, i.e. opportunity for her to get better man

For instance, if u r far richer than her (both family/ income), the downry might be 5-10% of your wealth

but if u r far poorer.., it might be 90-100% or more than u have.. (and yes sometimes u get all + something back afterward)

Ps all else equal

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I am not supposed to pay anything or follow any outdated, materialistic lameness, but when they ask, i am always happy to discuss, how much they want to pay me.
I mean, the more the better, when it comes to my money. So lets not be stingy, bring those millions.

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