Intellectual Whore

[garryjohns]

27 minutes ago, TallGuyJohninBKK said:

 

I'd second your sentiment. I was reading assorted follow-up posts here sporadically -- without having read the OP -- and began wondering what the heck this thread was actually about. So, I finally went back and read the OP, and like you, think the OP poster was pretty clear in her sentiments.

 

On that score, speaking as a man, I'm sure that it's NOT easy for single farang women to live on their own in Thailand. Having been a member and contributor here for some years, I'd certainly agree that there seems to be a fair degree of expressed negative sentiment against farang women in general by some contributors to ThaiVisa, and presumably at large in our little piece of the world here. If those kinds of generalizations were being directed at my group/identity, I'm sure I wouldn't appreciate it.

 

As for the "intellectual whore" issue, although I think that's a debatable term for what's being described, I think I can understand the situation where farang men living here perhaps with Thai wives and families, at some point, feel the need to share and exchange views with someone from a similar background to their own, men or women.  But for me personally, while there's lots of things there'd simply be no point in trying to talk about with my Thai wife, I don't seem to feel the need to seek out others as a replacement/substitute.

 

Just witnessing and being an occasional part of the written thrusts and parrys here is more than enough for me for a refresher course on western things.

 

 

 

 

+1  ..and IMO , only the use of "whore" threw things out of kilter a bit ,but otherwise the OP was clear in what she expressed.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

7 minutes ago, amykat said:

 Some women are still disguised as men here.

 

I guess that's only fair and fitting, considering how many Thai men around here are disguised as women....

[amykat]

5 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

After seeing some of the comments made by women on this thread, if I wrote to women I hardly or don`t know asking them to join me and my girlfriend for an evening out or to our house, they would probably have me arrested for being a sex crazed stalker or accusing me of inviting them to join my girlfriend and I in a threesome, considering their opinions of Farlang men on here. I`m not prepared to take that risk, but in fact I am an extrovert and have done exactly what you say, have a great circle of Thai and Farlang friends. I actually go out there, meet people and how I`ve met and made friends over the years, believe it or not, not in bars and none of my female friends are bargirls. 

 

I am very proud of my life achievements, how I have created a happy and comfortable lifestyle for myself in a country I love living in. Providing I can remain in reasonable health, then as far as I`m concerned, I have it all, made my life`s ambitions into a reality.  Truly, even though I`m older now, I`ve never been happier in my life that is because I always look on the positive side and stay clear of negative people.

 

OMG ...You would invite her to a restaurant first of all.  Next, Mr. Positive Thinker ...who is the negative thinker here? Who was talking at all today about any sex crazed stalkers???  Who was talking about inappropriate sexual ANYTHING?  Who was talking about SEX at all today??  

 

What EXACTLY did I SAY? I said that you men, exclude US, because you think that WE think certain things about WHAT you are doing here and that we don't approve of it!!! And now you just gave a perfect example of THAT!!

 

Instead of being an example of a community spirited neighbor, a gentleman, two older people, inviting another older person who is widow from their country, out to dinner, like a couple of gracious people, you come up with a total bullshit excuse, after bragging about yourself and your great life. After many. many posts where you put everyone down and tell us how much we suck, how Nancy sucks and is never doing the right thing!  You should hang your head in shame!  I really can't believe you.  And none of your friends are bargirls?? Fantastic!!

[cyberfarang]

9 minutes ago, amykat said:

 

OMG ...You would invite her to a restaurant first of all.  Next, Mr. Positive Thinker ...who is the negative thinker here? Who was talking at all today about any sex crazed stalkers???  Who was talking about inappropriate sexual ANYTHING?  Who was talking about SEX at all today??  

 

What EXACTLY did I SAY? I said that you men, exclude US, because you think that WE think certain things about WHAT you are doing here and that we don't approve of it!!! And now you just gave a perfect example of THAT!!

 

Instead of being an example of a community spirited neighbor, a gentleman, two older people, inviting another older person who is widow from their country, out to dinner, like a couple of gracious people, you come up with a total bullshit excuse, after bragging about yourself and your great life. After many. many posts where you put everyone down and tell us how much we suck, how Nancy sucks and is never doing the right thing!  You should hang your head in shame!  I really can't believe you.  And none of your friends are bargirls?? Fantastic!!

But I do try to get to know other Farlangs in Chiang Mai and have on many occasions connected with them and have became friends. How could I ever had invited you, I never even knew you existed until I saw this thread.

 

I want to throw a question at you and hope to get an honest answer:

 

You are out one lunchtime eating lunch in a cafe on your own and there are no other customers with lots of empty tables in that cafe. I walk in see you sitting there alone, say hi, and ask can I join you at your table? How would you react? An honest answer please.

[amykat]

Well that depends, usually I would expect more rapport to be developed than just a man to walk up and ask to join me.  If there was something that developed in a short time than I would probably welcome you to join me.

 

I did not however, ask why you had never invited me, there is someone on this thread  you could ask. Who is from your country. You and your g/f seem to be in the same age group. You have described yourself as a reasonable person who seems like they could get along with many people and you have told us that we all doing it wrong and Nancy as well, so what about it??

[Simbaya]

57 minutes ago, amykat said:

I think the OP isn't coming back. The thread was closed for a reason. It was reopened because there was interest in this general topic for other people. She made her points and she is finished as far as I know.  She seems to be new here so she has things to learn and experience as we all did and do.  I think you guys should leave her alone now.

 

I've been trying to make some points for the general good of expat women here, who might be isolated, and maybe for some men here who might have some wrong impressions of us ...or don't think it about it all, or who attack Nancy, or whatever.

 

I have often heard men say they feel afraid to approach women here, based on how they were treated at home (not welcome).  I have also heard them say they feel that they are judged, negatively, for being with young Thai women.  (That we hate that, we are jealous, we think other various things ...that I have never thought).

 

Maybe you have never noticed how women posters have been treated on the forum because you are not keeping track and are not sensitized to it, so I also mentioned that.  It is much, much better than it used to be.  It also is somewhat subject dependent.  Some women are still disguised as men here.

 

Things for you to think about.

Amykat,

 

I wasn't going to come back.  I thought I had asked my question pretty succinctly: "Why do some Western men seem to disparage Western women, yet sometimes seek us out to have their unmet needs addressed?"  I also said I struggled to understand this (generalized, yet still valid) question of this seeming love/hate dichotomy.

 

I decided to respond again because so many male posters went on to ask, "What is she trying to say?"  "I can't understand the vague rambling of the OP (paraphrasing)". Some even going as far to ask, "What are you (all) women posters trying to say?"  

 

I call this GASLIGHTING, and it a known form of abuse.  It may come in the form of, "You're crazy," "You don't know what you're talking about," "Chill out--relax," "You're too sensitive/can't take a joke."  

 

This sort of manipulation is used to silence women.  

 

I thank the two previous male posters who said my post was pretty understandable, and I was pleased to have that support.  There have been a few other male voices here that were understanding /attempting to understand, and accepting.  THANK YOU.

 

And thank you to the female posters for their opinions and insight as well!  MUCH appreciated.  

 

HOWEVER,

 

I think TV tolerates unacceptable levels of misogyny, and I can absolutely understand why some female posters write under pseudonyms.  I get it.

 

But the misogyny we experience here EVERY DAY is not OK.

 

I think it's up to moderators to be a little tougher, and for little boys to grow up.

 

Changing gears...

 

I want to address a couple of things, in no particular order:

 

Men posting on this thread have put words in my mouth, as well as other females here.  You are not our mind readers, nor do we need you to "mansplain" what we just said.  Most of us female posters have not done you that injustice.

 

Also, it's been questioned if I'm "creeped out" by Falang/Thai marriages--particularly those one with significant age differences.  The  answer is an emphatic NO.  LIve and let live.  I am especially touched to see long-time marriages where the western man and Thai wife appear to have grown old together.  Some of these couples are my friends.

 

But when a Western married/coupled man asks me for my phone number...come on, do you think in most cases the wife is OK with that?  Of course she isn't.

 

Knowing this, it feels like a form of marital cheating--and forget the bloke--I would NEVER do this to another woman!  It just seems like a sleazy move for a married man to ask me out on a date--however "innocent" it might appear.

 

Last, the term "intellectual whore" has been brought up debate.  I didn't write it to be "click bait" (although I think it did),  It simply came to mind as I was writing the post. Perhaps a better term might be "intellectual affair."  There are some pretty good online definitions for it, and better expresses what I was trying to convey.

 

We're starting a new year, folks, and it would be nice to see more civility amongst our community.

 

I'll continue to try if you will.

 

Simbaya

 

P.S.  THe GIF is meant in good fun.  Not ALL of you guys are scary aliens (!)

[Simbaya]

26 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

But I do try to get to know other Farlangs in Chiang Mai and have on many occasions connected with them and have became friends. How could I ever had invited you, I never even knew you existed until I saw this thread.

 

I want to throw a question at you and hope to get an honest answer:

 

You are out one lunchtime eating lunch in a cafe on your own and there are no other customers with lots of empty tables in that cafe. I walk in see you sitting there alone, say hi, and ask can I join you at your table? How would you react? An honest answer please.

That would be fine.  I often ask other singles to join me at my table.  However, if you were indeed married, and later asked for my number, that would be crossing a line for me. 

[cyberfarang]

23 minutes ago, amykat said:

Well that depends, usually I would expect more rapport to be developed than just a man to walk up and ask to join me.  If there was something that developed in a short time than I would probably welcome you to join me.

 

I did not however, ask why you had never invited me, there is someone on this thread  you could ask. Who is from your country. You and your g/f seem to be in the same age group. You have described yourself as a reasonable person who seems like they could get along with many people and you have told us that we all doing it wrong and Nancy as well, so what about it??

Some time ago on the Immigration thread, and I hadn`t long joined TV,  Nancy called me a very obscene name that even in real life no one has ever called me that before and since I lost all respect and trust for her. I also think that you girls are taking your lives in Chiang Mai far too seriously and that you need to chill out. Women can also be one of the lads, meaning a part of a group, mixing with both men and women, singles, marrieds of any age groups and then just let nature take it`s course and see how events go. If women suspect that men or even other women are trying to put them down, then they must treat them with the contempt they deserve, the women considering themselves as a higher order and that those tos**rs are not even worth a second thought. This is what I meant by me feeling content with the way I am and that I always feel good about myself, proud of my independence and achievements, and if there are people who look me down, they can take the finger and shove it where the sun don`t shine, I don`t care because no one pays my bills or puts food on my table.

 

There are decent guys and girls out there and there are also people that are a load of crap, all come in many nationalities, both sexes, ages, shapes and sizes, it`s just a case of filtering out the dregs from the good stuff. To find happiness in Chiang Mai one has to have faith in themselves and not give a toss about other people`s opinions that includes what one sex thinks of the other because not everyone thinks that way, probably the majority.

 

My Thai GF and me have been together a long time and although not in each others pockets, we do do are own things, we love each other very much and I have many good friends all I have met in Chiang Mai over my years here and my hand is always extended to the friendship of others, whether men or women and if anyone comes over to me for a chat, I enjoy it as much as they do, sometimes it can be therapeutic that doesn`t mean people who enjoy chatting with strangers are sad lonely old people of have ulterior motives. That`s about all I can say on this matter, getting bored with this now and hope I have explained to you in a satisfactory way. 

[Paul Catton]

1 hour ago, Simbaya said:

Why do some Western men seem to disparage Western women, yet sometimes seek us out to have their unmet needs addressed?"

As I am unaware that I may be doing this, I don't know, perhaps mother nature as it is quoted as need rather than a want.

Why do some Western women seem to disparage Western men, yet sometimes seek us out to have their unmet needs addressed?

Again cannot answer, care to try?

 

[nottocus]

1 hour ago, Simbaya said:

Amykat,

 

I wasn't going to come back.  I thought I had asked my question pretty succinctly: "Why do some Western men seem to disparage Western women, yet sometimes seek us out to have their unmet needs addressed?"  I also said I struggled to understand this (generalized, yet still valid) question of this seeming love/hate dichotomy.

 

I decided to respond again because so many male posters went on to ask, "What is she trying to say?"  "I can't understand the vague rambling of the OP (paraphrasing)". Some even going as far to ask, "What are you (all) women posters trying to say?"  

 

I call this GASLIGHTING, and it a known form of abuse.  It may come in the form of, "You're crazy," "You don't know what you're talking about," "Chill out--relax," "You're too sensitive/can't take a joke."  

 

This sort of manipulation is used to silence women.  

 

I thank the two previous male posters who said my post was pretty understandable, and I was pleased to have that support.  There have been a few other male voices here that were understanding /attempting to understand, and accepting.  THANK YOU.

 

And thank you to the female posters for their opinions and insight as well!  MUCH appreciated.  

 

HOWEVER,

 

I think TV tolerates unacceptable levels of misogyny, and I can absolutely understand why some female posters write under pseudonyms.  I get it.

 

But the misogyny we experience here EVERY DAY is not OK.

 

I think it's up to moderators to be a little tougher, and for little boys to grow up.

 

Changing gears...

 

I want to address a couple of things, in no particular order:

 

Men posting on this thread have put words in my mouth, as well as other females here.  You are not our mind readers, nor do we need you to "mansplain" what we just said.  Most of us female posters have not done you that injustice.

 

Also, it's been questioned if I'm "creeped out" by Falang/Thai marriages--particularly those one with significant age differences.  The  answer is an emphatic NO.  LIve and let live.  I am especially touched to see long-time marriages where the western man and Thai wife appear to have grown old together.  Some of these couples are my friends.

 

But when a Western married/coupled man asks me for my phone number...come on, do you think in most cases the wife is OK with that?  Of course she isn't.

 

Knowing this, it feels like a form of marital cheating--and forget the bloke--I would NEVER do this to another woman!  It just seems like a sleazy move for a married man to ask me out on a date--however "innocent" it might appear.

 

Last, the term "intellectual whore" has been brought up debate.  I didn't write it to be "click bait" (although I think it did),  It simply came to mind as I was writing the post. Perhaps a better term might be "intellectual affair."  There are some pretty good online definitions for it, and better expresses what I was trying to convey.

 

We're starting a new year, folks, and it would be nice to see more civility amongst our community.

 

I'll continue to try if you will.

 

Simbaya

 

P.S.  THe GIF is meant in good fun.  Not ALL of you guys are scary aliens (!)

Sounds like one of those "always the victim" people

[amykat]

1 hour ago, Simbaya said:

 

But when a Western married/coupled man asks me for my phone number...come on, do you think in most cases the wife is OK with that?  Of course she isn't.

 

Knowing this, it feels like a form of marital cheating--and forget the bloke--I would NEVER do this to another woman!  It just seems like a sleazy move for a married man to ask me out on a date--however "innocent" it might appear.

 

 

 

Single women are considered desperate here, so many married men will target you in a way they never would at home.  There are also a considerable amount of men who are not in good marriages here, no matter how young their wives are.  They may be stuck due to children or just have basically sexless relationships. Or they just may like to cheat.  If they cheat with Thai women, they usually have to pay and with Western women, they don't. So if they are cheap, they will take that into consideration.

[Simbaya]

55 minutes ago, nottocus said:

Sounds like one of those "always the victim" people

Said the man who posted yesterday: "Empathy for someone I don't know?  Nah."

[lannarebirth]

6 hours ago, cmsally said:

I must say I have never come across anybody particularly rude or nasty, maybe I just live some sort of charmed existence.

 

I would say these days Chiang mai is becoming too large and disparate to form any kind of inclusive expat community. Most of my expat friends have been here more long term as have I, so we have more in common. However most of us also have a larger circle of friends that come and go from Chiang Mai.; many of my good friends visit once or twice a year.

It's just a fact of life that you will have more in common with some and will simply click with some people.

I wouldn't presume to know about anyone else's experience or even their perception of me and others. Most of the foreigners I have met here have been friendly, interesting and polite.

I must admit I don't really dwell on the male /female thing. I have both male and female friends.

I wouldn't say on the whole that either of that group is more friendly than the other, but then I have never really thought about it.

I really am not getting the whole "intellectual whore" thing. Someone wants to drink coffee and talk about interesting stuff. What's the problem?

 

 

 

I think the problem stems from the part of the original post that has since been edited out (I'm not sure how you can do that 2 days later) where the the original poster characterized Thai women as being solely cookers, and cleaners and providers of sexual favors and that they offered nothing in the area of intellectual stimulation( a non intellectual whore, if you will). The original poster felt put upon that men were using her for what she felt was their intellectual outlet.  A lot of really bad assumptions in there I think.

[AlexRich]

I suspect you might be a tad deluded. The men you speak of might just be passing the time of day with you. You speak the same language and share the same culture. As for anything else I think it's fair to say that one of the attractions of Thailand is that there are lots of attractive Thai ladies who are happy to date westerners. Those guys looking to date a western woman tend not to leave the home country. I find it hard to believe that people would be openly hostile? Of course, I don't know what you say to people that gets that type of reaction. A strange post.

[LivinLOS]

7 hours ago, amykat said:

Well I guess you think we are creatures from other planets??  What kind of things do you discuss when out for a night socially that you think I don't know anything about? 

 

How a prostate massage feels.. 

 

I dont for a second presume to know 'everything' about the experiences of another gender.. But in such true to form fashion.. You do.. 

[LivinLOS]

6 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

My interpretation of the message the OP is trying to get across, is that Farlang men want to use her only in an intellectual capacity because she`s a Farlang and in that respect they just see her as a person to be able to relate to better than their Thai partners, sort of using her to fulfill a need of conversation in their own language, but she expects more than that, rather wanting them to perceive her as a woman not just another Farlang who has past their feminine desirability. And my guess is this is probably why these aging Farlang women in Thailand seem to have a bee in their bonnet.

 

If I`m wrong the OP can put me straight on this.

 

So essentially men are sexist pigs for trying to be platonically friendly.. Something that women have complained about the reverse being true since forever. 

 

Isnt it wonderful to be free of the "all he wants is sex" complaint which has existed so long ?? 

[LivinLOS]

5 hours ago, amykat said:

What EXACTLY did I SAY? I said that you men, exclude US, because you think that WE think certain things about WHAT you are doing here and that we don't approve of it!!! And now you just gave a perfect example of THAT!!

 

 

Perhaps that isnt why your excluded.. 

 

I am sure Thailand for a single older women isnt a good place.. I personally would be packing my things and looking for more satisfying country immediately if that was my circumstance. Why swim up hill ?? Its clear that the social situation (unless Thai fluent) is very poor, the possibility of partners, is very poor, these things will effect happiness over time. 

 

That isnt a 'get out its our playground' its a genuine assessment of how I assume I would think if I was in that position. I go to places that provide me the life balance I need, as soon as those places no longer provide me the life balance. I move on. 

 

 

[LivinLOS]

5 hours ago, Simbaya said:

I wasn't going to come back.  I thought I had asked my question pretty succinctly: "Why do some Western men seem to disparage Western women, yet sometimes seek us out to have their unmet needs addressed?"  I also said I struggled to understand this (generalized, yet still valid) question of this seeming love/hate dichotomy.

 

OK finally..  So you appeared to say earlier it was 'different men' who did this ? 

 

Is it not possible to see how some men simply are not interested, have no desire to be social with you, or even have a poor opinion and be disparaging and perhaps other different men are social and dont hold those views ??

 

Unless your talking about the same person in this case.. Theres nothing strange about it to me at all.. 

 

Quote

 

I decided to respond again because so many male posters went on to ask, "What is she trying to say?"  "I can't understand the vague rambling of the OP (paraphrasing)". Some even going as far to ask, "What are you (all) women posters trying to say?"  

 

I call this GASLIGHTING, and it a known form of abuse.  It may come in the form of, "You're crazy," "You don't know what you're talking about," "Chill out--relax," "You're too sensitive/can't take a joke."  

 

This sort of manipulation is used to silence women.  

 

 

Oh please.. You post some vague long rambling post.. Full of conflicting issues.. Then silence.. And thats our manipulation ?? 

 

Quote

 

I think TV tolerates unacceptable levels of misogyny, and I can absolutely understand why some female posters write under pseudonyms.  I get it.

 

But the misogyny we experience here EVERY DAY is not OK.

 

I think it's up to moderators to be a little tougher, and for little boys to grow up.

 

 

Its a web forum.. Toughen up buttercup.. Dear god dpont ever stray onto some really confrontational spaces online.. 

 

Notice its not the men asking for the moderation to be tougher ?? So which is it... We need to toughen up or we are too tough ??

 

Quote

Men posting on this thread have put words in my mouth, as well as other females here.  You are not our mind readers, nor do we need you to "mansplain" what we just said.  Most of us female posters have not done you that injustice.

 

Try clarity. It helps. 

 

Quote

Last, the term "intellectual whore" has been brought up debate.  I didn't write it to be "click bait" (although I think it did),  It simply came to mind as I was writing the post. Perhaps a better term might be "intellectual affair."  There are some pretty good online definitions for it, and better expresses what I was trying to convey.

 

So someone being friendly, discussing current affairs, making conversation.. Thats not wanted.. 

 

OK gotcha.. I will continue to no start conversations and leave you entirely alone.. Please dont assume then I 'hate western women' 'resent your intellect' 'secretly crave your companionship' or 'am trying to cheat on my partner'.. Just assume I/we have heard loud and clear, that its some form of oppression to start a conversation with you. 

 

Just a heads up though, for your own social knowledge.. When men sometimes complain about 'western female attitudes', its pretty much those exact issues and assumptions that they are complaining about, and probably why they are leaving you alone. 

[LivinLOS]

3 hours ago, amykat said:

 

Single women are considered desperate here, so many married men will target you in a way they never would at home.  There are also a considerable amount of men who are not in good marriages here, no matter how young their wives are.  They may be stuck due to children or just have basically sexless relationships. Or they just may like to cheat.  If they cheat with Thai women, they usually have to pay and with Western women, they don't. So if they are cheap, they will take that into consideration.

 

And its men who are demonstrating the low opinion of the other sex.. 

 

 

[SoiBiker]

Wow. 

[LivinLOS]

37 minutes ago, SoiBiker said:

Wow. 

 

And that was on the first coffee.. just wait till properly caffeinated.. 

[SoiBiker]

But of course, you don't have any issues about western women...

[canuckamuck]

6 hours ago, Simbaya said:

That would be fine.  I often ask other singles to join me at my table.  However, if you were indeed married, and later asked for my number, that would be crossing a line for me. 

Help us out here a little bit. You are at some kind of food court or something and you have an agreeable exchange with a married man.  He then asks for some contact information and that is crossing a line? You may have forgotten that unless he becomes your stalker there is no way for this person to ever interact with you again. Asking for a number is a necessary step to continue the association. He and his wife may indeed be a wonderful new friends, or perhaps a source of information or contacts that will enhance your Thai experience.

If you believe that asking for your number is an act of infidelity, than I wonder if you might need to upgrade your social contract a touch in order to relate to more interconnected society..

[TheFishman1]

Maybe your over thinking this I have never seen what you are discriminating about really TIT

[Airalee]

If someone truly had "contempt for western women", why would they attempt to strike up a conversation with you while standing in a queue in the first place?  That sounds more like the actions of an outgoing, friendly person rather than an angry misogynist.

[SoiBiker]

20 minutes ago, Airalee said:

If someone truly had "contempt for western women", why would they attempt to strike up a conversation with you while standing in a queue in the first place?  That sounds more like the actions of an outgoing, friendly person rather than an angry misogynist.

 

Presumably we're talking about different people.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Hats off to an absolutely brilliant post.  Great attention grabbing title, some good allegations in there, and to make it legitimate and less like flame-bait, end with something that looks like a question. 

 

THANK YOU!  

 

The forum seriously needed something like this topic.

 

You've given us so many already for free in this topic though, I'm starting to feel I'm cheating you out of fair compensation for your intellect and insight.  Do you take PayPal?

[Airalee]

12 minutes ago, SoiBiker said:

 

Presumably we're talking about different people.

Im only referring to the presumed man the OP described.  

 

"In essence, why do some men show their contempt for me at times, only to ask for my intellectual company other times?"

 

If they really had had contempt for her, I doubt they would be striking up a conversation with her.

[SoiBiker]

1 minute ago, Airalee said:

Im only referring to the presumed man the OP described.  

 

"In essence, why do some men show their contempt for me at times, only to ask for my intellectual company other times?"

 

If they really had had contempt for her, I doubt they would be striking up a conversation with her.

 

I don't know about that. If we didn't engage in conversation with those we find contemptible, this forum would be an awful lot quieter.

[daveAustin]

Op - if this is genuine and you're really a woman - you sound complicated, confused, annoyed and difficult. This unapproachable, entitled me-me-me persona and disdain for males in general is what puts men off western females and a major reason more western men are seeking out real, easy going Asian women who know how to treat a man (not necessarily talking prostitutes).

 

In short, it is likely those that have shown you open hostility have had to deal with all that garbage in their previous life. For those that do fancy you; what’s the big deal, you already said you were attractive, what do you expect? It’s akin to the reaction of a stunning woman that gets all dolled up and shows herself off only to castigate a man for eyeing them. If you’re that prissy type, I'd just ignore anyone that gets in your sphere and keep to myself.

 

I get on well with western women here, but admit am standoffish to strangers for the above reasons – they might think I’m coming on to them and wouldn’t want them flattering themselves. I’m fairly decent (still young-ish) and don't have trouble in charming women of either culture, but find I have little time for all that nowadays even when back in my home country. All that = complicated, entitled, difficult.

 

Moral: I think you should lighten up, don't be so annoyed western men fancy Asian women, and just be thankful men are paying you any attention to you at all, or perhaps try out a more suitable pasture.