bangkoken Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Don't be so quick to start a responsibility that will only grow over time. If you really lover her do the best thing and help her to get an education and possibly a career. Would do wonders for her self esteem and would make you proud to know that you changed a persons life for the best. Start maximum 10,000 per month and leave it at that. If she asks for more make it clear she has to handle her personal expenses from her allowance. Throwing money after money at Thai women is never ,ever a sound decision for anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeBloe Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 14 minutes ago, saroq said: Between THB30,000 - THB35,000 a month for food and bills plus another THB25,000 a month for her to spend or save as she chooses. It's all relative, for some people that would be a lot of cash but I was already spending that much on food and bills so we just cut back on expensive restaurants. 25,000 a month seems reasonable to me because I told her that she takes care of all her commitments out of that and her family, I don't want to hear about their money problems. That's one way, but I don't work any more, there is a finite amount of money available. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeBloe Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 I was thinking like 2500-3000 per week? Remembering that this is pretty much only feeding us and household incidentals - what goes in the trolly at BigC and her personal items (clothes etc.). She could get another job, but since I don't work either, being together has value to me. I don't have the impression Thai females feel the need to contribute to the home if they can get someone else to pay it all. In any case, their family comes first and anything I give her will get partially channeled there. I am not totally stupid - I just don't want her family to sit home on their collective read ends living on my nickel. I figured a weekly amount would limit the excesses of her potential planning inability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiang mai Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 28 minutes ago, saroq said: Between THB30,000 - THB35,000 a month for food and bills plus another THB25,000 a month for her to spend or save as she chooses. It's all relative, for some people that would be a lot of cash but I was already spending that much on food and bills so we just cut back on expensive restaurants. 25,000 a month seems reasonable to me because I told her that she takes care of all her commitments out of that and her family, I don't want to hear about their money problems. You don't say how many people that is for and how much is food etc, will be interesting to know, if you know! And of course a couple would have to go some to spend 30/35k a month for food, just grocery store food that is. Spending 7k a month on groceries we eat well, in fact we eat very well and it's a mix of Western and Thai with some imported foodstuffs. Mostly though our major shopping is done at Macro or Rimping or a combination of the two, smaller shopping is done at local fresh markets. Note: that spend doesn't include restaurants which can vary between 6 and 10k a month and it doesn't include alcohol since we don't drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissables Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 8 hours ago, aircooledflat4 said: Since she's not working, it falls on you to pick up the cost for everything.... fixed costs like her phone, her internet, her life insurance, her health insurance etc etc... on top of the digs. And all the while you're doing that, there'll be no imperative for her to find work and contribute to the cost of living, to help offset these costs. But I'm sure you'e aware of that reality. Hence your problem of how much to give her. I would strongly advise to cover her for her fixed costs only. Never give pocket money. I've been down this road and from my experience any amount you come up with is never enough. Thais don't budget, or plan anything, so once they see some numbers in black in white it becomes like a bargaining game. "How can I get this amount higher" will be her MO. You can't change that, it's cultural.. And they are far more skilled at this than we are. Therfore do not discuss money at all. Cover her fixed costs but never reveal how much you have or what your upper limit is. Any amount you set will always be reached and usually exceeded. There will always be an attempt to get more and no attempt to save. Unless of course it's their own money that they have earned, and which you will never see or know about. You must control the purse strings OP and only pay for things as you see fit. Never the other way around. Even when you go to the supermarket, YOU choose what goes in the trolley, not her. You pay, you the boss. When she wants this and that... the usual crap they don't need... and she will try you on to see how far she can stretch you... say no. Only ever buy what YOU think is of value to you BOTH. Pay her life insurance, her health insurance? I suggest only if had before and will lose it by living with the op. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeichen Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 1 hour ago, Naam said: personally i find it ridiculous to have a wife and children and then send the wife working and make money to contribute to the finances. if you can't afford a wife who takes care of the household and family don't get married. Because you are old and a dinosaur. This is 2016. It isn't about afford, it is about respect, self worth and contributing to society. Send the wife working means that she had never worked before. What is wrong with having and independent and accomplished wife who earns as much as you? Why do you need a wife to take care of the household? Are your arms broken? is the work beneath you? What is wrong with two people working together to ensure all aspects of your life are rewarding. I know my wife appreciates that I cook and that she can work on her research rather than things she doesn't like to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissables Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 37 minutes ago, saroq said: Between THB30,000 - THB35,000 a month for food and bills plus another THB25,000 a month for her to spend or save as she chooses. It's all relative, for some people that would be a lot of cash but I was already spending that much on food and bills so we just cut back on expensive restaurants. 25,000 a month seems reasonable to me because I told her that she takes care of all her commitments out of that and her family, I don't want to hear about their money problems. So top price is 60K? I don't pay rent, but even if i did i would not know how to spend that amount of money. Unless eating out in good restaurants everyday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terminatorchiangmai Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 10.000 a month should do it , pick up some stuff your self or go shopping with her every now and then and pay the bill. Make a shopping list that if she goes shopping you also get what you need / like. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I don't give Mrs Possum any money, she has hers and I have mine, but the house, truck, motorbikes, are all paid for, electricity is very cheap as we have solar panels. We have been together for 11 years now, and it works well for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krataiboy Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 1 hour ago, Naam said: personally i find it ridiculous to have a wife and children and then send the wife working and make money to contribute to the finances. if you can't afford a wife who takes care of the household and family don't get married. What is ridiculous is to have both parents working and neither being able to take care of the household and family. The husband doesn't necessarily have to be the breadwinner; it can be the wife if she has a job she likes and more earning power. You are lucky, Naam, there are no (as far as I know) feminists on the Forum, otherwise you might be getting some flak! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken George Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 To run our own house so no rent my wife spends 25k a month. Thats food electric internet for the four of us.. I pay all other bills schools car fuel etc.. We live very well on that. She cooks cleans washes so we dont have bills for eating out very often. Depends where you live and what she does in her spare time.. She may not have spent a lot begore but now there is aother income that may go up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pepper1959 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 We budget 13 000 baht a week to cover rent, utilities, food, fuel and incidentals etc. It does not cover issues such as car insurance and health cover etc. I give him the money each week to budget. I no longer use a joint account etc as my past partner of 8 years stole 2 300 000 baht from me four days before I retired to Thailand and went in to hiding whilst he tried to then claim the house through the courts. So once bitten..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williet98248 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 My girlfriend moved into my large house with garden. Did most of the cooking and cleaning, took care of the garden. I gave her 14K a month which included 3K for the care and upkeep of the 94 year old mother in Isarn. Something you and girlfriend need to work out together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 1 hour ago, zorro1 said: Are you crazy or just a fat guy? No stick insect for sure I figure if the relationship is going anywhere the lady will need rather more than money for food, spend her days cooking, washing and cleaning. Coffee/meal out with friends, clothes and make up, transport or taxi fares, you know the things women do when socialising, perhaps a little left over to send home, laundry costs. and your figure for this would be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 1 minute ago, zeichen said: Because you are old and a dinosaur. This is 2016. It isn't about afford, it is about respect, self worth and contributing to society. Send the wife working means that she had never worked before. What is wrong with having and independent and accomplished wife who earns as much as you? Why do you need a wife to take care of the household? Are your arms broken? is the work beneath you? What is wrong with two people working together to ensure all aspects of your life are rewarding. I know my wife appreciates that I cook and that she can work on her research rather than things she doesn't like to do. i am a well-off dinosaur because i have a wife (got married 38 years ago) who took care of all things in half a dozen sh*tty areas (desert, bush and swamp) enabling me to concentrate on my job working 12-14 hours a day, 6 days a week (quite often 7 days). that's why today she doesn't have to ask me for money if she wants to fly for a few days to Hong Kong, Singapore or Munich to do a little shopping. Quote Why do you need a wife to take care of the household? Are your arms broken? i can vividly imagine myself years ago coming from a construction site of the factory, arriving at home in the evening and help my wife doing dishes or ironing my shirts before preparing a sandwich or a 3-minute noodle soup for myself. today nothing much has changed. she keeps my back free by running a perfect and tight household ship managing three live-in employees and i can concentrate on other matters. but whatever i mentioned is most probably beyond your grasp. signed: dinosaur Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 7 minutes ago, williet98248 said: My girlfriend moved into my large house with garden. Did most of the cooking and cleaning, took care of the garden. I gave her 14K a month which included 3K for the care and upkeep of the 94 year old mother in Isarn. Something you and girlfriend need to work out together. I gave her 14K a month - or still giving? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Don't give her anything she is not an employee or a tart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 52 minutes ago, MichaelBates said: I was thinking like 2500-3000 per week? Remembering that this is pretty much only feeding us and household incidentals - what goes in the trolly at BigC and her personal items (clothes etc.). She could get another job, but since I don't work either, being together has value to me. I don't have the impression Thai females feel the need to contribute to the home if they can get someone else to pay it all. In any case, their family comes first and anything I give her will get partially channeled there. I am not totally stupid - I just don't want her family to sit home on their collective read ends living on my nickel. I figured a weekly amount would limit the excesses of her potential planning inability. Understand Michael, if she worked, and could channel 5-6k a month to her family, then anything less is a step down living with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 27 minutes ago, Krataiboy said: You are lucky, Naam, there are no (as far as I know) feminists on the Forum, otherwise you might be getting some flak! i'd like to meet those feminists who would not like to enjoy the adavantages and financial freedom my wife enjoys. about ten years ago i made a statement similar to my first comment in the "Ladies Section" of Thaivisa and got nothing but applause. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amykat Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 55 minutes ago, MichaelBates said: I was thinking like 2500-3000 per week? Remembering that this is pretty much only feeding us and household incidentals - what goes in the trolly at BigC and her personal items (clothes etc.). She could get another job, but since I don't work either, being together has value to me. I don't have the impression Thai females feel the need to contribute to the home if they can get someone else to pay it all. In any case, their family comes first and anything I give her will get partially channeled there. I am not totally stupid - I just don't want her family to sit home on their collective read ends living on my nickel. I figured a weekly amount would limit the excesses of her potential planning inability. I think you should pay all the bills yourself. I think you should do the shopping together, except for small things here and there, at which time you hand her some cash for those specific items. You decide on a small budget which is just for her personal things. Do not try to come up with a budget for the household which then is also meant to include some personal things. You are not married!! Do not confuse the issues. If you are together a long time and things are going well and you get married and you see that she makes good decisions and they are the kind you would make with the money, then do what you are talking about. But do not start out this way, that is stupid and you know it. I am a woman and I am telling this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry15 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 In mutual concent my wife stopped working we we married , and at that moment she took over the books. After a few months she asked me to take over the books again she did'nt liked the responsibility. So we sat arround the table to find an financial solution that was beneficial to both of us. Mainly because I dk Id'nt want that my wife would have to ask me money like beggar. So I came up with the idea of a monthly stipendum or needle money thaf covered her private expenses. She asked if she would have total freedom how to spend it. I told her, that after we made an agreement I will never mentiom that stipendum anymore. So I gave her one week to make up what she considered as personal expensives and wich amount would cover that. After one week she gave the list and the amount. Both been very fair and the proposed stipendum eas even lower than I expected. I took even some things out of that list, like the health care premium from the labour department. Because I have an inflation guaranteed pension in EURO and to avoid any future discomfort or en re-opening of the hight of the stipendum we agreed that the stipendum would be paid in EURO and wen my Netto pension would go up with X%, the stipendum would go up with the same %. I gave her again one week to think about it. After one week she ask some clarification about some points, she accepted my answers. Whe shook hands to make the deal. This was 5 years ago, and that was the last co versation we had about it. One advanged about she got paid in conversed EURO is that she understand the effect of the effect of the exchange rate on my income On my birthday I recieve nice birthday preseng, and sometimes she invite me to dinner in a nice restsurant, and she pays that with HER money. And yes sometimes she borrows me some money at the end of the month, bud she knows it will be automaticly deducted from her next stipendum. For us, this agrreement works perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Mega Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 29 minutes ago, Pepper1959 said: We budget 13 000 baht a week to cover rent, utilities, food, fuel and incidentals etc. It does not cover issues such as car insurance and health cover etc. I give him the money each week to budget. I no longer use a joint account etc as my past partner of 8 years stole 2 300 000 baht from me four days before I retired to Thailand and went in to hiding whilst he tried to then claim the house through the courts. So once bitten..... Yeah looking at the bank accounts the missus is about that not including rent/car payments/car insurances/car maintenance (s) etc etc. luckily full cover health insurance is covered by my employer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
localczar Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 zero, zilch, nada...just a hard time.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kensisaket Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I think you are going to find yourself with her when she is shopping; especially, if it is Big C, Makro, etc. You'll be paying on those trips. An average food shopping trip at one of those stores is $2000 baht more or less. The bottom line is you give her what you can afford; and, keeps her happy. The suggestion of making a budget together is a good one; however, budget is not in a lot of Thai's vocabulary. It's really not the money you give her that you have to worry about, it's all the other BS that comes up. For sure, don't ever "loan" money that you cannot afford to do without. Chances are you'll never see it again. Don't let anything blind you to the reality of life in Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandgroper2 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Would you ask that question in your home country? Come to Thail;and and cant think for your self. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 3 minutes ago, sandgroper2 said: Would you ask that question in your home country? Come to Thail;and and cant think for your self. For the most part a live in girlfriend in your home country would be working and contributing. OP has already stated he prefers his girlfriend to be his daily companion not out working. Hence the request for a guide line amount of expenditure from the 'locals'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ujayujay Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 20K THB/Month for Food/Electricity/Water in 4 Person Household + 1 time/Week go for the big Shopping in C or TL on my Cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RT85 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 15-16k / month allowance (just for herself only). this excludes all food/transport/utilities etc. groceries approx 9k/month i think... power/water about 3k. mobile,internet etc etc etc... approx 4k? eating out is the biggest cost for us.. as we eat out quite often too.. i guess it really depends on your living arrangement? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandgroper2 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 4 minutes ago, 473geo said: For the most part a live in girlfriend in your home country would be working and contributing. OP has already stated he prefers his girlfriend to be his daily companion not out working. Hence the request for a guide line amount of expenditure from the 'locals'. Yes, sorry, im out of order. While we are on this topic, how much do you think I should spend a month on myself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 11 minutes ago, sandgroper2 said: Yes, sorry, im out of order. While we are on this topic, how much do you think I should spend a month on myself? Base it on your self worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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