YeahSiam Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 2 hours ago, Naam said: personally i find it ridiculous to have a wife and children and then send the wife working and make money to contribute to the finances. if you can't afford a wife who takes care of the household and family don't get married. Yeah but not everybody wants a wife straight out of the 1940s. More importantly, fewer and fewer women want to be wives straight out of the 1940s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deepinthailand Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Chances are you will go shopping together so you just pay the bill. Don't let the doom sayers on here put you off. You are a couple if she's not working then yes you have to support her but try and get her to find a job. Much better for you both in the long term. Whatever you decide it won't be right according to tv posters so just do as you think is right but don't tell people on here otherwise we'll read the post above. Good luck and enjoy don't over worry things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YeahSiam Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Not a flaming satang. She keeps her own place, I keep mine. No complications, no budget questions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Essaybloke Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 You must have some idea of utilities and your own food expenditure. Based on my expenses I allow say 600/week for power and water. (It's a bit over the odds but better than short). Add your basic food costs and cable TV, internet and phone if applicable. OK here we go try 1,000 per week plus food, booze for the first month see how it goes. You can always adjust up or down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossy Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I work hard all week earning coin, Wifey works hard all week cleaning, washing, cooking, gassing with friends (and seeing to my needs ). We spend about 4-5k every other week in Makro. I give her 2k Baht each week with which she pays the maid / gardener and buys incidental food items, but it's hers to spend as she sees fit. I pick up all the utilities, etc etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycjoe Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I give her 15000 for herself and I pay for the food. About what a teacher makes a month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 She is not a teacher though is she, they are employees Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotpoom Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Is there no limit to how far some people feel at liberty to delve into other people's personal affairs..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Essaybloke Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 4 minutes ago, dotpoom said: Is there no limit to how far some people feel at liberty to delve into other people's personal affairs..... People were asked for advice..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linden Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Rent...!!... I think Pay as You Go is better. mood swings, ownership status, holiday pay. Buffalo Punctures,Cancers. Pay as You Go. Or get one from the Different family seems they dont take your cash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeBloe Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 1 hour ago, amykat said: I think you should pay all the bills yourself. I think you should do the shopping together, except for small things here and there, at which time you hand her some cash for those specific items. You decide on a small budget which is just for her personal things. Do not try to come up with a budget for the household which then is also meant to include some personal things. You are not married!! Do not confuse the issues. If you are together a long time and things are going well and you get married and you see that she makes good decisions and they are the kind you would make with the money, then do what you are talking about. But do not start out this way, that is stupid and you know it. I am a woman and I am telling this! I own my condo, utilities are auto-paid from my account, pay water, insurance and internet. We have a washing machine so laundry is done at home. I pay for entertainment and dining out. There is only food and household incidentals to look after, and disposable pocket money. The question is about those items only. I shop, alone and with her already. I want to give the responsibility to her to manage the household stuff and do whatever she wants with the rest so I don't have to discuss endlessly the trivial details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rijb Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 1 hour ago, amykat said: I think you should pay all the bills yourself. I think you should do the shopping together, except for small things here and there, at which time you hand her some cash for those specific items. You decide on a small budget which is just for her personal things. Do not try to come up with a budget for the household which then is also meant to include some personal things. You are not married!! Do not confuse the issues. If you are together a long time and things are going well and you get married and you see that she makes good decisions and they are the kind you would make with the money, then do what you are talking about. But do not start out this way, that is stupid and you know it. I am a woman and I am telling this! Well said! Until there is long-term trust, money issues can ruin a relationship very quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRich Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 2 hours ago, MichaelBates said: I was thinking like 2500-3000 per week? Remembering that this is pretty much only feeding us and household incidentals - what goes in the trolly at BigC and her personal items (clothes etc.). She could get another job, but since I don't work either, being together has value to me. I don't have the impression Thai females feel the need to contribute to the home if they can get someone else to pay it all. In any case, their family comes first and anything I give her will get partially channeled there. I am not totally stupid - I just don't want her family to sit home on their collective read ends living on my nickel. I figured a weekly amount would limit the excesses of her potential planning inability. Those figures sound reasonable. I guess it should be no more than she could earn, and if your gf has an ordinary job like receptionist or retail worker it would not be much more than that, given that you are also picking up the rent and utility expenses, it's not a bad deal for a life not encumbered by work commitments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue bruce Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I really don't think there any good answers here. Every couple has a different situation. I have had a Thai G/F that I gave 20000 baht a month. Now I have a Thai G / F who doesn't ask for anything other than to support her. If I see something she may like I ask her if she wants it. SHE never demands anything. Maybe I am lucky I have an orphan, no family only me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1FinickyOne Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 7 minutes ago, MichaelBates said: I own my condo, utilities are auto-paid from my account, pay water, insurance and internet. We have a washing machine so laundry is done at home. I pay for entertainment and dining out. There is only food and household incidentals to look after, and disposable pocket money. The question is about those items only. I shop, alone and with her already. I want to give the responsibility to her to manage the household stuff and do whatever she wants with the rest so I don't have to discuss endlessly the trivial details. If you own a condo here, then you have been here for a while - you must have a pretty good idea of the cost/standard for what you are used to spending... now, if you don't want her to work then it is probably only fair to give her some extra money to send home to her mother and to have for her self as she might if she were working... this really depends on how much she feels she needs, and how much you can afford... You have to find what price works for the two of you... what I do with my wife is irrelevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicog Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 2 hours ago, MichaelBates said: I never thought one second about western food costs. We both eat Thai, she is a good cook and I am happy to eat Thai at home permanently - I can always get Irish Stew down at the pub if I get homesick :) Like I said, this is just to cover household expenses, food and suchlike, plus a reasonable amount for her to have money in her pocket for personal incidentals. Some other poster was right though - Thais don't plan and no amount is enough - any left over will go to mother, sister, cousin and so on without me ever knowing. It may seem a dumb question, but have you actually asked her? Or give her 20k and ask her for all of the receipts and see what she buys. That way, if she looks like she's using your money to top up on expensive girlie things or gifts for her friends and family, you know you can trim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussieroaming Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I think that without trust there isnt much point in being in a relationship. My wife has never wasted or squandered a cent and doesnt believe in family handouts, not that we wouldnt help if there was genuine need. She manages money better than i do and i appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeBloe Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 2 minutes ago, kenk24 said: If you own a condo here, then you have been here for a while - you must have a pretty good idea of the cost/standard for what you are used to spending... now, if you don't want her to work then it is probably only fair to give her some extra money to send home to her mother and to have for her self as she might if she were working... this really depends on how much she feels she needs, and how much you can afford... You have to find what price works for the two of you... what I do with my wife is irrelevant. 1: Assume I bought a condo last week. Owning a condo says nothing about how long I have been here 2: Why do you assume I know what a pound of butter costs - I wash my own clothes, but alone I eat out 95% of the time, and I don't count my own pennies too much. I prefer home cooking though and she can and likes to cook. Win-Win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRich Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 5 minutes ago, Blue bruce said: I really don't think there any good answers here. Every couple has a different situation. I have had a Thai G/F that I gave 20000 baht a month. Now I have a Thai G / F who doesn't ask for anything other than to support her. If I see something she may like I ask her if she wants it. SHE never demands anything. Maybe I am lucky I have an orphan, no family only me You won the lottery mate ... everyone's ideal Thai girlfriend ... an orphan! I'd consider that route myself, but I'm just a bit self-conscious about hanging about outside orphanages ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odin Norway Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 51 minutes ago, Deepinthailand said: Chances are you will go shopping together so you just pay the bill. Don't let the doom sayers on here put you off. You are a couple if she's not working then yes you have to support her but try and get her to find a job. Much better for you both in the long term. Whatever you decide it won't be right according to tv posters so just do as you think is right but don't tell people on here otherwise we'll read the post above. Good luck and enjoy don't over worry things. Spot on.Who say that their lives should be a holiday.I have tried it both.Having here home all the time didnt work so well.Now she have her own smal shop to make her own money and she dont need to ask me for daily expences.Ofcorse I do pay for everything alraedy so her money is hers alone.Before that we tried all different amounth from 30k to 10k a month..Different from where we lived.Phuket,Pattaya and Udon Thani.They are broke at the end of the month anyway so why bother to teach about a budget.Waste of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YeahSiam Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 13 minutes ago, MichaelBates said: I own my condo, utilities are auto-paid from my account, pay water, insurance and internet. We have a washing machine so laundry is done at home. I pay for entertainment and dining out. There is only food and household incidentals to look after, and disposable pocket money. The question is about those items only. I shop, alone and with her already. I want to give the responsibility to her to manage the household stuff and do whatever she wants with the rest so I don't have to discuss endlessly the trivial details. So, you want to pay her a salary for "being around" and give her some sort of "responsibility" so that you don't feel like you have a financially-compensated live-in lover?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1FinickyOne Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 2 minutes ago, MichaelBates said: 1: Assume I bought a condo last week. Owning a condo says nothing about how long I have been here 2: Why do you assume I know what a pound of butter costs - I wash my own clothes, but alone I eat out 95% of the time, and I don't count my own pennies too much. I prefer home cooking though and she can and likes to cook. Win-Win. ok - so, you arrived and on the first day you bought a condo? Is that what you want people to think? Sounds like you haven't had time for your clothes to get dirty... and yet you found a girl willing to live with you... been a busy day. How can you top that tomorrow... so, you just post this issue and then respond rudely to half the people who answer... sorry I tried to help... I won't again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeBloe Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 6 minutes ago, Chicog said: It may seem a dumb question, but have you actually asked her? Or give her 20k and ask her for all of the receipts and see what she buys. That way, if she looks like she's using your money to top up on expensive girlie things or gifts for her friends and family, you know you can trim. I have asked, and the answer was a bit nebulous - I need real numbers. Why do Thais speak in sentences without nouns? Collecting receipts from the market is of course impossible, and getting discipline to run a ledger is probably a bridge too far. I am just looking for a feel of what my negotiation point should be. My assumption will be that if pushed she will ask for 10,000 a week, because that is what rich expats apparently pay their gfs (see some earlier post). Like I said, I have a finite supply of money and it has to last a long time, so I need to plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeBloe Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 2 minutes ago, kenk24 said: ok - so, you arrived and on the first day you bought a condo? Is that what you want people to think? Sounds like you haven't had time for your clothes to get dirty... and yet you found a girl willing to live with you... been a busy day. How can you top that tomorrow... so, you just post this issue and then respond rudely to half the people who answer... sorry I tried to help... I won't again. No. I was pointing out your appalling lack of logic. And I was pretty clear that I have eaten out mostly (because the choice is truly vast), so running costs for living "at home" are not something I really have a handle on. Finally, I have suggested numbers. Perhaps you might have tried to read the thread rather than the final post? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YeahSiam Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 10 minutes ago, kenk24 said: If you own a condo here, then you have been here for a while - you must have a pretty good idea of the cost/standard for what you are used to spending... now, if you don't want her to work then it is probably only fair to give her some extra money to send home to her mother and to have for her self as she might if she were working... this really depends on how much she feels she needs, and how much you can afford... You have to find what price works for the two of you... what I do with my wife is irrelevant. WHAT?????!!!! Why is it "only fair"?? If she wanted to work, she'd be working. She's not working now, is she? She's not living on the street now, is she? So why does he have to make her feel like she is working? Isn't his company a good enough benefit for her to move in? People following advice like this are lining themselves up to lose here...........badly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 2 hours ago, henry15 said: So I came up with the idea of a monthly stipendum or needle money thaf covered her private expenses. She asked if she would have total freedom how to spend it. I told her, that after we made an agreement I will never mentiom that stipendum anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikecha Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 give her 20grand and ask at the end of the month has she got anything left Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 14 minutes ago, MichaelBates said: I am just looking for a feel of what my negotiation point should be. My assumption will be that if pushed she will ask for 10,000 a week, because that is what rich expats apparently pay their gfs (see some earlier post). our cook earns more and that does not include any sex with her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 18 minutes ago, MichaelBates said: Like I said, I have a finite supply of money and it has to last a long time, so I need to plan. it goes of course without saying that any expenditure, and that includes the lady, has to be in a healthy relation to your income. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien365 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 My missus earns more than me so I give her nothing. Regarding what you should give your lady I'd say depends on how much she usually spends. My missus pays the mortgage and after that probably 20k a month on food, clothes shopping and a few k to her parents. Id say 20k is a nice amount, but if she expects to be shopping in paragon all the time you'd have to ask someone who supports a demanding lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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