Does it matter if your girl was a hooker?

[Ulysses G.]

5 hours ago, anotheruser said:

I never mentioned your country mate.

 

Indeed. He seems to want to argue about nothing for some reason.

[rogeroc]

8 hours ago, brling said:

Sad, and the other guests would know you are a total loser. Do you also defend prostitutes from your own country ?

 So you would be one of the shallow minded types.

 

I have no direct knowledge or experience of prostitutes working in the UK so i really cannot answer that question. The dynamics must be very different. In the UK there is the welfare state to assist those without work and who need to support family.  My point is that the frequent criticism of girls who work in bars, massage, online etc in Thailand is unwarranted and i have no doubt atall that many of those who criticise are hypocrites.

[rogeroc]

9 hours ago, eldragon said:

Finding them is not the problem. It's connecting with them. You're a average Thai girl is oppressed to the point of being inhuman and fake. The maturity level is a concern as well. And many of em don't like to discuss anything negative. To me this amounts to seeing half the world. I'm probably a bit jaded, but when I see a Thai girl that looks confident and totally comfortable in her own skin, I assume she is a hooker on some level.

 

I agree with those sentiments. Wherever i have met a Thai girl be it Cashier, Massage, Online it becomes instantly clear that they all have previous Western connections, even if just friends or relatives. The ladies working in a 'legitimate'  massage shop will for example (just like the bargirl) never have current husband / boyfriend, will denigrate Thai men etc, etc. This is why i ask the question where does a retiree (even a young one) find a 'normal' girl and if he did how would he relate to her.

[JB300]

Wow... why are you insulting my country now... with its 'outdated' expressions?
 
I did not understand what you meant... I read it several times... it does not make sense. 
 
I did not know you are from America....  that explains it, its not your fault. 
 
I will stick to my 'outdated' expressions, language and spelling thanks. 

Both ways work... http://blog.dictionary.com/could-care-less/

I'd even say he "Could care less" (sarcasm) is used more...

[cms22]

My point on this. I married a "good" Thai girl in the early 1990s. She was a lawyer with degrees and a "good" family. What a nightmare that marriage was! We divorced more than a decade ago. I could take no more.

I then married a hooker from Pattaya. We have now been together for more than 10 years and married for five. She's not perfect (who is?) but she is miles miles better than my ex-wife in so many ways. We continue to live in Thailand and are as happy as ever.

 

You can look at "good" Thai girls and "bad" Thai girls from many angles. But my experience is that being a "good" girl doesn't mean you are necessarily good.

[JAFO]

10 hours ago, rogeroc said:

Introducing as a prostitute would be much more fun and interesting and it would soon sort out the other guests as snobs, prudes or just shallow minded. The downside though is that there would be many that just avoided her and looked down on her.

Yes it would be interesting if it wasn't me or likely you having to do the introducing. However I don't agree about snobs, prudes or shallow minded. We all make choices and thus live with the consequences No? So her choosing to sell her body and time to any man with money versus seeking employment in a more reputable field does not make others snobs, prudes and shallow minded because they did. I think we would all like the world to not judge people but it's human nature. Society is harsh and that will never change.  

[catman20]

On 2/14/2017 at 6:36 PM, Razzler1973 said:

Does it matter to me? Yes.

 

It may not matter to others. I mean, there's a whole host of reasons. There's really no point getting into a deeper discussion about 'can a working girl be honest' etc, of course they can but there are so many other women out there why would I want to take a girl from a bar

this man is dead right of course, however i dated and lived with a hooker for six years she came from quite a good family with money very pretty she used to work bar for a few months a year for 1 or 2  years for just for a laugh and a good time. i never had any problems with the girl very honest took care of me well but she was a bit lazy around the house,  i finished with her about 7 years ago i still speak to her and see her some times she now works with her family in a real job.

i think there are some good girls working in the bar but you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a princess.

[JAFO]

13 hours ago, anotheruser said:

So she still hasn't told you yet? :) I jest I jest I am sure she is different.

LOL!!!.  All good. But I do have to ask....Different from what?  

 

While off topic, the belief here in Thailand is that all women are prostitutes. Kind of like "guilty until proven innocent". It's impossible to meet one that's not in the view of most men here.  However I argue the point in that I have worked and currently work in a huge factory here and there are normal hard working professionals, married, children and living a normal just like in our home countries where we don't think all women are hookers and prostitute.  I think many people have skewed views on things because of their environment and what they read on TVF. 

[dotpoom]

On 14/02/2017 at 2:26 PM, eldragon said:

 

I like this response a lot and want to agree with it, but why does it seem like 80% of the sex workers I meet seem to have several men sending em money whilst still working in the industry?


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Mamy people have more than one job.....more than a single source of income?

[Ulysses G.]

2 minutes ago, JAFO said:

 

While off topic, the belief here in Thailand is that all women are prostitutes. Kind of like "guilty until proven innocent". It's impossible to meet one that's not in the view of most men here.  However I argue the point in that I have worked and currently work in a huge factory here and there are normal hard working professionals, married, children and living a normal just like in our home countries where we don't think all women are hookers and prostitute.  I think many people have skewed views on things because of their environment and what they read on TVF. 

That is for sure. I've had lot of normal Thai women working for me. They were good workers and sex-work was the furthest thing from their minds.

[eldragon]

I agree with those sentiments. Wherever i have met a Thai girl be it Cashier, Massage, Online it becomes instantly clear that they all have previous Western connections, even if just friends or relatives. The ladies working in a 'legitimate'  massage shop will for example (just like the bargirl) never have current husband / boyfriend, will denigrate Thai men etc, etc. This is why i ask the question where does a retiree (even a young one) find a 'normal' girl and if he did how would he relate to her.

Outside of tourist areas, for starters. Probably outside of BKK too. And then focus on ones that are at least kinda comfortable speaking English. This is usually a reflection of their intellect.

I would pick one that is not looking for a foreigner. These girls always seem to have some expectation or sense of entitlement related to past experiences with foreigners and/or getting what their friends have. Don't forget, a lot of girls who aren't hookers still know one or two of em at least on a casual level and have heard all the stories about the benefits of having a farang in their life.

It will probably require a time investment though. You made need to degrade yourself a bit too. Go through some silly phase where you convince the girl that you are serious about her and not just trying to get some quick sex. Basically, you need to work for it, just like you did back home. A lot of us get lazy and take the women here that come easily. Some of my Thai friends ask me why foreigners like trashy women and hookers so much and I always tell em "Bc those are the girls that make themselves available to us."


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[piersbeckett]

On 14/02/2017 at 2:26 PM, eldragon said:

 

I like this response a lot and want to agree with it, but why does it seem like 80% of the sex workers I meet seem to have several men sending em money whilst still working in the industry?


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Like you, Idon't

 

18 hours ago, SaintLouisBlues said:

I don't pay for the sex. I pay for them to go away afterwards

I like that

[JAFO]

Just now, Ulysses G. said:

That is for sure. I've had lot of normal Thai women working for me. They were good workers and sex-work was the furthest thing from their minds.

Indeed. I am friends with many of the employees and go off and do family activities. Just living life like I did in the states.  

[eldragon]

That is for sure. I've had lot of normal Thai women working for me. They were good workers and sex-work was the furthest thing from their minds.

Ask if any of em are someone's mia noi and you'll quickly find out the attractive ones have men in their lives giving them money, gifts, etc. Last time I dated an office girl, this was all she talked about. Telling me what all her coworkers are bilking out of Thai men. And I eventually found out I wasn't the first foreigner she'd dated either, even though she told me otherwise at the onset. Yeah, I wish I could say you get less of this manipulative behavior as you go further up the socioeconomic ladder, but sadly it seems to be about the same.


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[LannaGuy]

I have respect for many 'hookers' who are just trying to make their life 'Great Again' but... would I want one as a GF?  no way!  but that is not a moral judgement and if I'm horny I have no qualms paying for sex (usually a 'sideliner' rather than a full on hooker).

 

There is tons of choice 'out there' if you really are co-dependent and can't live alone so why be with a girl who sucks for cash?  Thailand (thank God) has very blurred lines about sex and tons of fun can be had if you approach it the right way  (gas money etc.).  

 

Anyway you can take the girl out of the bar but not the bar out of the girl.

[ddavidovsky]

Depends on your standards. If you're bald, probably not, seeing as baldness is a deliberate evolutionary mechanism to relegate a proportion of guys to a lower league, where there are lots of women who would otherwise be unable to find a partner. Another world-shattering theory you heard from me first - I thang yew.

[JAFO]

1 hour ago, rogeroc said:

I agree with those sentiments. Wherever i have met a Thai girl be it Cashier, Massage, Online it becomes instantly clear that they all have previous Western connections, even if just friends or relatives. The ladies working in a 'legitimate'  massage shop will for example (just like the bargirl) never have current husband / boyfriend, will denigrate Thai men etc, etc. This is why i ask the question where does a retiree (even a young one) find a 'normal' girl and if he did how would he relate to her.

I think that is the challenge Rogeroc, landing here as a retiree.  If one is working here it is an open book.  The factory I manage 50% or more speak English well. In fact supervisor and engineer up requires fluent English as part of employment being we interact with US customers on a daily basis. The women are not with western men.  They went to school and most if not all have master degrees. Many even did school in the US and came back.

 

As I said many men here have skewed views on women because they only meet them in massage parlors, bars or internet dating. But in fairness not all Thai women want a westerner man. Many of us here have discussed this over dinner.  They have no issues with foreigners but some of the women said "why do I want to be with some old westerner man when I can date a Thai guy my own age and have fun?".  This is why I think westerners are stuck in a certain Thai gal segment.  

[LannaGuy]

9 hours ago, zorro1 said:

Was she a cashier? Because cashiers are different.

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and waitresses  

[LannaGuy]

4 minutes ago, JAFO said:

I think that is the challenge Rogeroc, landing here as a retiree.  If one is working here it is an open book.  The factory I manage 50% or more speak English well. In fact supervisor and engineer up requires fluent English as part of employment being we interact with US customers on a daily basis. The women are not with western men.  They went to school and most if not all have master degrees. Many even did school in the US and came back.

 

As I said many men here have skewed views on women because they only meet them in massage parlors, bars or internet dating. But in fairness not all Thai women want a westerner man. Many of us here have discussed this over dinner.  They have no issues with foreigners but some of the women said "why do I want to be with some old westerner man when I can date a Thai guy my own age and have fun?".  This is why I think westerners are stuck in a certain Thai gal segment.  

well... we are veering off topic and most Thai girls I know really don't like Thai guys because they are impolite, unfaithful, irresponsible... and the list goes on but I agree for lust purposes you may be right but I also hear tons of Thai girls tell me Thai guys are all 'Wham Bam Thank you Mam' with no interest in satisfying the woman and certainly no 'interesting' sex

[piersbeckett]

On 14/02/2017 at 2:06 PM, Seligne2 said:

I find that 80 percent of the working girls you call "hookers" are rural and uneducated with two kids (living with ma and pa) to support. I do not find them morally defective in any way.  I think they would say that they will do whatever is necessary to care for their families. I would trust women in this category.

 

There may be 20 percent (that percentage I suspect is a bit high), who are turned on by the lifestyle, the money, the dangers involved, etc.) I would avoid getting involved with one of this group.

I'd say there's a distinction but percentages are guesses from one's own experience and what one's heard and read.  At any particular time, some see the 'work' as a stepping stone to a financially better, 'normal' life and others see it as a way of life. In other words the attitude towards the job can change and the people doing it are individuals.

[eldragon]

I have respect for many 'hookers' who are just trying to make their life 'Great Again' but... would I want one as a GF?  no way!  but that is not a moral judgement and if I'm horny I have no qualms paying for sex (usually a 'sideliner' rather than a full on hooker).
 
There is tons of choice 'out there' if you really are co-dependent and can't live alone so why be with a girl who sucks for cash?  Thailand (thank God) has very blurred lines about sex and tons of fun can be had if you approach it the right way  (gas money etc.).  
 
Anyway you can take the girl out of the bar but not the bar out of the girl.

"The sideliners don't work here every night. (They just go to another bar or spa and work there.)"


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[eldragon]

Depends on your standards. If you're bald, probably not, seeing as baldness is a deliberate evolutionary mechanism to relegate a proportion of guys to a lower league, where there are lots of women who would otherwise be unable to find a partner. Another world-shattering theory you heard from me first - I thang yew.

If you're going bald, shave your head. It shows you have initiative.


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[wow64]

9 minutes ago, LannaGuy said:

well... we are veering off topic and most Thai girls I know really don't like Thai guys because they are impolite, unfaithful, irresponsible... and the list goes on but I agree for lust purposes you may be right but I also hear tons of Thai girls tell me Thai guys are all 'Wham Bam Thank you Mam' with no interest in satisfying the woman and certainly no 'interesting' sex

 

Is that before or after you meet her Thai Brother that stays with her. 

[LannaGuy]

4 minutes ago, eldragon said:

 

"The sideliners don't work here every night. (They just go to another bar or spa and work there.)"


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I meant, as you probably know, girls who would not dream of working in a spa or bar. I have a few. One is a nurse at a large well known hospital, one a student at CMU and another works at a factory in Lampang all gorgeous and would kill you if you suggested they were 'hookers' and would not be seen dead in a  bar!  

 

great life have fun and stay single 555

[phantomfiddler]

Is there any such creature as an ex-hooker ? I don,t think so

[JAFO]

18 minutes ago, LannaGuy said:

well... we are veering off topic and most Thai girls I know really don't like Thai guys because they are impolite, unfaithful, irresponsible... and the list goes on but I agree for lust purposes you may be right but I also hear tons of Thai girls tell me Thai guys are all 'Wham Bam Thank you Mam' with no interest in satisfying the woman and certainly no 'interesting' sex

Some reality in there but keep in mind there are professional Thai men too. We tend to generalize that all Thai men are uneducated losers like many say about Thai women. There is a "professional business" segment of Thailand that never seems to be discussed. It's always hookers, Peasants, scammers drunk young Thai men losers etc.  I know this is why I have a much broader view of Thailand when responding in forums.  

 

It's funny because your Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am comment is heard through out the world.  US women say same stuff about their US men. Guys will be guys. 

[ChrisKC]

What about the so-called nice girl, never engaged with prostituting herself but meeting with a man who has regularly paid for sex with women but nearly always considers himself to be of higher moral standing than them?

Many Thai prostitutes DO feel some shame in what they do but rarely is shame felt by men for what they do (with them)

In my opinion, the level of trust that can be relied upon is equal between both women and men who are of easy virtue.

[rogeroc]

1 hour ago, JAFO said:

Yes it would be interesting if it wasn't me or likely you having to do the introducing. However I don't agree about snobs, prudes or shallow minded. We all make choices and thus live with the consequences No? So her choosing to sell her body and time to any man with money versus seeking employment in a more reputable field does not make others snobs, prudes and shallow minded because they did. I think we would all like the world to not judge people but it's human nature. Society is harsh and that will never change.  

 

So we should fight human nature when it is wrong or inappropriate and not go along with the crowd.

 

Ok about more 'reputable' employment but the reality of some is work 10 hours per day 6 days per week for 13000 baht per month or work 4 hours per night, 5 days per week, have some pick and choice of customer and earn 26000 baht per month with an occasional all expenses paid for trip to the beach in a nice hotel. 

[rogeroc]

6 minutes ago, ChrisKC said:

What about the so-called nice girl, never engaged with prostituting herself but meeting with a man who has regularly paid for sex with women but nearly always considers himself to be of higher moral standing than them?

 Yes indeed it s that hypocrisy again !

 

Until now nobody has really ventured into the second part of the OP's question 'can a man who has paid for sex ever be trusted'. I can only speak for myself, i have paid for sex many times but have still been prepared to be in a committed / monogamous relationship if feelings are strong and if i wanted my partner to be monogamous. Who can tell what is in the lady's mind though?

 

 

[eldragon]

1 hour ago, JAFO said:

...the belief here in Thailand is that all women are prostitutes.

Guilty. But then I think about all the women I've dated here and realize the ones that were (to my knowledge) as single as they said they were fall in the minority. Believe the hype, man. Thai women can be pathologically manipulative. Masters of having their cake and eating it too. To the point that I think it's just part of the culture. Like, maybe I just need to accept that women here are not going to give up something they have until they feel like the next thing is a guarantee. And then I just have make sure I'm always better than whatever alternative they think they have.