Cheap Charlie on holidays at its best

[thaiguzzi]

Good funny story.

Me, i would of punched him out after the 2nd day...

[Khon Kaen Dave]

4 minutes ago, DILLIGAD said:

It's a song by Don Henley, Dve.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Dilli.Don Henley, didnt he do 'smugglers blues 'for the Miami Vice police series ? Crocket and Tubbs i think. Wasn't he also connected with the Eagles in some way? But what is a New York minute? Giving it a name implys that it is different from any other minute, is it longer, or shorter? Or in some way , thinner or fatter? Could, i therefore say, " an East end minute"?

 Only pullin yer plonker mate.

 

[Flustered]

10 hours ago, possum1931 said:

Is he British? Or have I missed something, I got the impression that he is not a Native English Speaker, may he's

an Indian, and that's why the OP called him Adam.

The OP is Czech. Been in Thailand for around 6 years initially on visa runs,  lived in Bangkok, the north, multiple provinces and finally Isaan commuting between other countries. Since march 2017 he has a G/F, got married in April, then again June after asking about pre nup agreements, gained a Thai family and 16 year old niece looking for a father. Oh yes, and rides a Big Bike...a 300cc Kwaker...555.... Highly knowledgeable about bar girls and made over 3 million baht in his home country before coming to Thailand, doesn't like whinging old farts or Brits and is also a Bit coin collector.

 

All at the tender age of 28 with a 42 year old wife

 

 

3 hours ago, freebyrd said:

Sorry if it's too long..... that's when I stopped reading.

LOL. The good parts are when he talks about satisfying his GF.

 

It's honestly better than reading fiction.

 

 

1 hour ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

What's a New York Minute? is it different from a London Minute, or a Kentish half hour, or a Merseyside second, what is it?

it's the interval between a Manhattan traffic light turning green and the guy behind you honking.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

2 minutes ago, Flustered said:

He is Czech. Been in Thailand for around 6 years initially on visa runs,  lived in Bangkok, the north, multiple provinces and finally Isaan commuting between other countries. Since march 2017 he has a G/F, got married in April, then again June after asking about pre nup agreements, gained a Thai family and 16 year old niece looking for a father. Oh yes, and rides a Big Bike...a 300cc Kwaker...555.... Highly knowledgeable about bar girls and made over 3 million baht in his home country before coming to Thailand, doesn't like whinging old farts or Brits and is also a Bit coin collector.

 

All at the tender age of 28 with a 42 year old wife

 

 

LOL. The good parts are when he talks about satisfying his GF.

 

It's honestly better than reading fiction.

 

 

it's the interval between a Manhattan traffic light turning green and the guy behind you honking.

Ahhh, now that makes sense and clears every thing up. I now stand, drenched, in the bright rays of enlightenment.Although why does the guy behind have to throw up? oh sorry that's the British version of 'honking'

 

[Flustered]

1 minute ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Ahhh, now that makes sense and clears every thing up. I now stand, drenched, in the bright rays of enlightenment.Although why does the guy behind have to throw up? oh sorry that's the British version of 'honking'

 

I think it sounds better than "playing with his horn".

[Khon Kaen Dave]

2 minutes ago, Flustered said:

I think it sounds better than "playing with his horn".

Ok, now i have to think about that for a minute, no, no ,and thrice no, lets say " i will have to think about that for a New York Minute"  I'm in the groove now i'm down with the Homies, Yoh Mama.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

6 hours ago, steven100 said:

hmmmm .... good job,    but wouldn't it be easier just to tell him enough is enough and don't drink my beer again  ....

 

6 hours ago, steven100 said:

hmmmm .... good job,    but wouldn't it be easier just to tell him enough is enough and don't drink my beer again  ....

Yes, and dont think i didnt think of that. But all you get is a smile and a blank face, thinking that you dont man it. In this scenario, it was a case of 'the felang strikes back' because, sometimes that is all they will understand.

[howard ashoul]

26 minutes ago, Flustered said:

The OP is Czech. Been in Thailand for around 6 years initially on visa runs,  lived in Bangkok, the north, multiple provinces and finally Isaan commuting between other countries. Since march 2017 he has a G/F, got married in April, then again June after asking about pre nup agreements, gained a Thai family and 16 year old niece looking for a father. Oh yes, and rides a Big Bike...a 300cc Kwaker...555.... Highly knowledgeable about bar girls and made over 3 million baht in his home country before coming to Thailand, doesn't like whinging old farts or Brits and is also a Bit coin collector.

 

All at the tender age of 28 with a 42 year old wife

 

 

LOL. The good parts are when he talks about satisfying his GF.

 

It's honestly better than reading fiction.

 

 

it's the interval between a Manhattan traffic light turning green and the guy behind you honking.

 

Great job on my background! 

 

Many people asked, why I didn't stop him.

 

- First of all, he was guest. So naturaly we were treating him nicely.

- We also expected, that he will change. That it's just a big missunderstanding. My wife believed to the last minute, that at the airport he will give her some money.

- And there's also an age gap, me 28, he over 60...hard to speak to a guy, who is more than twice my age, about his behaviour. 

 

Some people suggesting, that it's just a fiction. If it was fitcion, I would post a link to a GoFundMe page. For my 3 beers. I wouldn't wrote this novel just to post it here.

[Flustered]

Nice to see you back.

 

It's always suspicious when someone starts a thread then that's the last you see of them. They are often known as "clickbaits" as the more clicks of people reading, the higher the viewing figures for the adverts.

 

That is what gives credence to the doubts.

[janclaes47]

3 minutes ago, Flustered said:

Nice to see you back.

 

It's always suspicious when someone starts a thread then that's the last you see of them. They are often known as "clickbaits" as the more clicks of people reading, the higher the viewing figures for the adverts.

 

That is what gives credence to the doubts.

 

I guess the clicks were slowing down.

[getithere328]

(Sorry if it's too long. I met a lot of different characters in Thailand. But this is my top experiences so far. I call him Adam. He is like 60 years old fat British. He went home today.)
 
I'm living in Isaan. Im living here with my wife and family. My wife has also a sister, Toy, who is working bar in Pattaya. And Toy's daughter is staying with us.
 
Last week we got call from Toy, that her boyfriend (=customer) wants to visit Isaan. Children were all happy, that new father/grandfather will buy them food and take them on trips. Adults were also looking forward to this visit. Including Toy's daughter.
 
Farang tourist coming to the village with his GF for the first time, bit event, right?
 
It all started by picking them up at airport. We paid our friend 500 Baht to take us by car to the airport and back (1 hour each way). So we picked them up. At arrival Adam calculated, that since he went just 1 way, he should pay just 200 Baht. And we should pay 300 Baht, since we went both ways. (only reason we went, was to pick him up) I didn't argue at that point and payed my "half". After arrival Adam came to our house and announce, that today's dinner will be huge. Since he is paying and its on him! Whereat he handed my wife and Toy 300 Baht to go shopping. I have no idea how my wife cooked dinner for a 8 persons with 300 Baht, while she still managed to get french fries for a children. Which are 140 Baht over here. But she did it.
 
...
 
Next morning Adam told Toy, that he is not paying her daily rate anymore. Since she is on holiday with family. And at some point in the future she would go to visit us on her own. So she can be glad, that her payed for her ticket here. She wasn't really ammused byt this as I could say... .
 
...
 
During morning Adam observed, how it works here. Family members are allowed to come to my house on their own and do whatever they like here. Even alone. So he addapted this behaviour. Since second day he begin to coming to our house on his own. He would use our toilet, bathroom, kitchen and toke anything he wanted. Like other family members. Although he wasn't family member. Even stuff from the fridge, like juice or ham. At dinner he asked my wife "whats for a dinner." She told him "we are eating pork with rice". Sounded good, so he eated with us. Since the first "huge dinner" he didn't pay a single Baht for a food. It would go like this. My wife or Toy would tell him, that they are going to shopping. What he wants to buy for a lunch? He would said that "he is good, nothing". And after my wife would cook food, he would be first there with his plate. My wife was going totally mental. She is already on tight budged. He using huge ammounts of our shampo, shower gel, toilet paper, water, electricity was enough. And now she was paying for his food too. I hade to slip her some more money, so she can make it to the end of the week.
 
...
 
There were some small episodes, like when he borrowed tools including material from local mechanic shop. To fix his suitcase. Returning them without paying for renting tools or even material. Or when Toy gave daughter 100 Baht as a pocket money, And she would come back with 20 Baht ice-cream, Adam with 50 Baht ice-cream and a 30 Baht change in his pocket.
 
...
 
Later that week I woke up to found out my wife really pi*sed off. She woke up at 5am, went to jungle, found mushrooms, sold them at market for 200 Baht (which is a lot of money for her). And bought skewers with that money. For children, when they come back from school. When she walked out of shower, they have been already eaten by Adam. She had enough! In the evening I bought 3 large Changs (beers) and putted them in the fridge. I walked to kitchen few hours later only to found out 3 empty bottles on the table. Adam peacefully resting on the chair next to them. I had enought too!
 
...
 
Later that day Adam found out about some local atractions, so he sugested, that we should visit them. Me, my wife and Toy immediately refused. Because we were too busy. (Since we knew, that it wouldn't be "Adam is taking us on trip", but "we are taking Adam on a trip").
 
So instead of going on trip Adam called us all in the living room. And started to showing us photos from his home (house, cars etc.). At every photo he would commented, how much does it cost to buy. My wife was still pretty pi*sed off by Adam by eating childrens food, so half way through his lecture about his wealth she went (literally) "I don't give a how much you have! up to you! up to you! i don't care! i don't care! up to you!" and walked out of his lecture.  That was pretty funny from my point of view! But Adam continued like nothing happend. He ended up his lecture by telling us, how much he has in a bank. At that point he realised, that the whole time we had no idea how much these costs are, since he was using his currency the whole time (pounds).  So he quickly checked exchange rate and told us, that he has 300,000,000 Baht in his account (his own words, 300 milions Baht). And also told us, that his bank won't let him use it, since it's all in investment/long-term accounts (again, his own words).
 
.....
 
Today we toke him to airport. Toy's daughter never had father and was living with us. Even without her mother. So when Adam came, she was treating him like a dad. When he was leaving, she asked him for some small money. So she can buy some make-up, maybe new T-shirt. Girly things. He generously opened his wallet. And handed her 20 Baht bill. Single 20 Baht bill!!! To a 16 years old girl!  Not kididing.
 
He also found out some cheaper airlines, that were charging just 1200 Baht per ticket. What he didn't know was, that this airlines had maximum baggage allowance 15 Kg, instead of 30 Kg. So he was presented with a additional 1500 Baht bill for a baggage. Adam made a huge scene. My wife and Toy spent next 10 minutes apologizing to everybody at the airport. When it didn't help, he started to stuff all his belonings to his hand bag. At which point he was told, that hand bag has also maximum weight allowance... .
 
...
 
My last memory of Adam is, he standing at security checkpoint, wearing 4 T-shirts, 2 jeans, sweater, jacket, pockets stuffed with socks and briefs, computer/tablet/books in one hand, over-weight-limit bill for 500 Baht in another hand. Angrily eyeing Toy, because she refused to wear 4th layer of clothes. And because she also refused to stuff her pockets with panties and socks. While he was standing there, he looked at us and told us "well, see you next time guys!". He was very lucky, that he was already behind security point. Otherwise my wife would probably jump him.
 
Since Toy was leaving last, she just turned to us, and told us "don't wolly, you never see this farang again! me not see him again, too!"

A horrible, rude , selfish way to behave towards your hosts, no matter which country you originate from.

I'm amazed you put up with that ungrateful man for as long as you did.



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[oldhippy]

Funny, nobody here seems to know the old Roman Expression "nomen est omen".

Think about it.... the OP's name is Ashoul.

 

No? Think again, this time phonetically.

 

Still nothing? His real name might well be Ashoul Trawler.

 

 

[oldhippy]

3 hours ago, getithere328 said:

But feel free to say British piece of garbage?

 

 

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There is no forum rule that forbids pleonasms.

Sorry - I just had to show off with my knowledge of ancient Greek.

[Flustered]

2 hours ago, oldhippy said:

Funny, nobody here seems to know the old Roman Expression "nomen est omen".

Think about it.... the OP's name is Ashoul.

 

No? Think again, this time phonetically.

 

Still nothing? His real name might well be Ashoul Trawler.

 

 

It's terrible when you are bored. I agree with the Latin phrase and did not even have to look it up as my tired old brain still remembered my schoolboy Latin.

 

Just for fun I looked up Czech surnames. the biggest list I could find was 500 but no Ashoul.

 

Come on Howard. 'fess up. Are you real or is it a wind up.

 

I want to believe you are real as I find your posts very entertaining and you seem to be quiet a character but there are just too many bits that don't add up.

 

No one calls a bike as small as a 300cc Kwaker a "Big Bike". it's more of a toy. My own bike (Triumph Thunderbird 900) is only a medium bike. You have been around in Thailand for over six years, living in various districts but have only started asking questions about visas from March 22nd this year.

 

I really enjoyed this thread but I cant see anyone putting up for more than one day with the person you described. It would be bag thrown out on the street and him being told in no uncertain terms to KFO.

 

Please tell us you are real.

 

Just had a thought. As immigration often ask for a photograph of you standing in from of the house you are living in, perhaps you could post one of yourself and your wife in front of your house? Sort of makes the thread more interesting than it already is.

[anto]

7 minutes ago, Flustered said:

It's terrible when you are bored. I agree with the Latin phrase and did not even have to look it up as my tired old brain still remembered my schoolboy Latin.

 

Just for fun I looked up Czech surnames. the biggest list I could find was 500 but no Ashoul.

 

Come on Howard. 'fess up. Are you real or is it a wind up.

 

I want to believe you are real as I find your posts very entertaining and you seem to be quiet a character but there are just too many bits that don't add up.

 

No one calls a bike as small as a 300cc Kwaker a "Big Bike". it's more of a toy. My own bike (Triumph Thunderbird 900) is only a medium bike. You have been around in Thailand for over six years, living in various districts but have only started asking questions about visas from March 22nd this year.

 

I really enjoyed this thread but I cant see anyone putting up for more than one day with the person you described. It would be bag thrown out on the street and him being told in no uncertain terms to KFO.

 

Please tell us you are real.

 

Just had a thought. As immigration often ask for a photograph of you standing in from of the house you are living in, perhaps you could post one of yourself and your wife in front of your house? Sort of makes the thread more interesting than it already is.

Sounds like stalking .

[getithere328]

There is no forum rule that forbids pleonasms.
Sorry - I just had to show off with my knowledge of ancient Greek.

And where are you from?


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[Flustered]

12 minutes ago, anto said:

Sounds like stalking .

It's called fun on a humorous thread where the facts don't add up. Wake up man, it's all light hearted and if the OP hasn't complained, why should you? If the OP is offended and says so then I apologise but for now it's all good fun and no rules have been broken. No racist remarks (except the comments on Brits), no homophobic remarks, no flaming and no baiting.

 

TV lists all FMs posting history, they are all in the public domain and open for viewing. The whole idea of keeping posting history is to enable previous posts to be checked out.
 

Sometimes I question whether some FMs even have a sense of humour but for someone with over 2,500 posts and only 986 likes, I understand why.

 

 

Also, thought you might like to read this.

 

Forum Netiquette
 
1. Please do not post in all capital letters, bold, unusual fonts, sizes or colors. It can be difficult to read.

2. Please do not modify someone else's post in your quoted reply, either with font or color changes or wording. Such posts will be deleted and the user warned.

[oldhippy]

4 minutes ago, getithere328 said:

And where are you from?


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I am from a country with 11 million inhabitants, 6 (six) governments and a sense of humour. Why?

Furthermore the French and the Dutch say that we are stupid, that we eat potato fries for breakfast lunch and dinner, but our monks are useful as they brew the worlds best beer.

 

[anto]

12 minutes ago, Flustered said:

It's called fun on a humorous thread where the facts don't add up. Wake up man, it's all light hearted and if the OP hasn't complained, why should you? If the OP is offended and says so then I apologise but for now it's all good fun and no rules have been broken. No racist remarks (except the comments on Brits), no homophobic remarks, no flaming and no baiting.

 

TV lists all FMs posting history, they are all in the public domain and open for viewing. The whole idea of keeping posting history is to enable previous posts to be checked out.
 

Sometimes I question whether some FMs even have a sense of humour but for someone with over 2,500 posts and only 986 likes, I understand why.

 

 

Also, thought you might like to read this.

 

Forum Netiquette
 
1. Please do not post in all capital letters, bold, unusual fonts, sizes or colors. It can be difficult to read.

2. Please do not modify someone else's post in your quoted reply, either with font or color changes or wording. Such posts will be deleted and the user warned.

Humourous thread ? You dont sound funny to me .As for likes ,who cares ,certainly not me .

[anto]

4 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

I am from a country with 11 million inhabitants, 6 (six) governments and a sense of humour. Why?

Furthermore the French and the Dutch say that we are stupid, that we eat potato fries for breakfast lunch and dinner, but our monks are useful as they brew the worlds best beer.

 

Belgium 

[oldhippy]

1 minute ago, anto said:

Belgium 

I don't think that you understand my answer.

 

[getithere328]

I am from a country with 11 million inhabitants, 6 (six) governments and a sense of humour. Why?
Furthermore the French and the Dutch say that we are stupid, that we eat potato fries for breakfast lunch and dinner, but our monks are useful as they brew the worlds best beer.
 

I was always fond of the French and Dutch


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[oldhippy]

3 minutes ago, getithere328 said:

I was always fond of the French and Dutch


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I will never forgive them for inventing Belgium in 1830.

(for a change, I am very serious now)

 

[getithere328]

I will never forgive them for inventing Belgium in 1830.
(for a change, I am very serious now)
 

Completely unforgivable


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[oldhippy]

2 minutes ago, getithere328 said:

Completely unforgivable


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Unless you are Belgian too, you have no idea how unforgivable.

 

But the topic was about a cheap Charlie on holiday.

 

Well, I am on holiday in Madeira right now (soon back home in Thailand), and I am such a cheap Charlie that I prefer to have a bottle of (excellent ) Portuguese wine at the apartment rather than to go out.

That is my excuse for posting in this bar forum at this hour. What is your excuse?

 

 

[bbi1]

11 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

But the topic was about a cheap Charlie on holiday.

 

Well, I am on holiday in Madeira right now (soon back home in Thailand), and I am such a cheap Charlie that I prefer to have a bottle of (excellent ) Portuguese wine at the apartment rather than to go out.

That is my excuse for posting in this bar forum at this hour.

 

 

You really must be plastered from that bottle because this isn't the "bar forum" but the "Issan forum" 

[oldhippy]

1 minute ago, bbi1 said:

You really must be plastered from that bottle because this isn't the "bar forum" but the "Issan forum" 

The entire TVForum is the modern low cost computerized version of a bar.

 

Men only.

Lots of alcohol.

Extreme opinions, no room for subtlety.

Mods (bar keepers) that have to compromise between more clicks (beer sales) and decent behavior.  

A fruitless attempt to escape from boredom.

The odd philosopher.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[neeray]

Op, thanks for taking the time to write this entertaining story. Despite what others say, I believe it happened as you say. 

Unfortunately, there are "users" like this in the world. Glad your wife had the balls to stand up to him. 

[williet98248]

On 6/10/2017 at 6:12 AM, colinneil said:

OP you bored/nothing to occupy your time, that you have time to write a novel.

Agreed.  Sounds like fiction to me as well.

[chuang]

You should have stood up to him about his behavior