Bar 'lady drink' etiquette?

[luk AJ]

Many, many nights I left 7-10k in a bar, it was a lot of fun but since I stopped drinking alcohol, the fun is also gone for me. Luckily I spend so much money, otherwise I would not saving so much now! Wink..


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[sanemax]

Just now, luk AJ said:

Many, many nights I left 7-10k in a bar, it was a lot of fun but since I stopped drinking alcohol, the fun is also gone for me. Luckily I spend so much money, otherwise I would not saving so much now! Wink..


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10 000 Baht ?

The bars that I go too, that is the entrance fee alone, nothing else included

[luk AJ]

10 000 Baht ?
The bars that I go too, that is the entrance fee alone, nothing else included

Just put "in" in front and you have my sympathy.


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[evenstevens]

22 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Although the topic is, going into bars and paying people to have a drink with you 

 

beg to differ Lady Drinks,and not People is the O/P

E/S  has always applied the following

Treat Them Mean and Keep Them Keen(no lady drinks)

but you have to have the handsome looks and a vibrant personality, to carry out that ,luckily E/S has those goods to dot that, very easily

its a Brad Pitt good evening to all

[jeab1980]

17 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Although the topic is, going into bars and paying people to have a drink with you 

 

No its not is 

Bar 'lady drink' etiquette?

 

Nothing in that tittle about paying for people to drink with you.

[rogeroc]

33 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Could try focusing on real life friends, who choose to be there with you ?

Rather than paid for company 

So you just enjoy the company of men, not women then? Seems to be common in CM now, a lot of 'blokey bars'

 

Sure in some places a lady will pay her own way for eating / drinking out but in most places in the world the man pays.

 

Relax a little a lot of theses ladies in Chiang Mai really appreciate a drink to help with their income and many are very pleasant, polite and have good wit. Who knows, they could even become a friend to you (heaven forbid!)

 

 

 

[csabo]

6 hours ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

 

Did she buy it?

She did. And somehow winning it made it taste better. 

[sanemax]

6 minutes ago, rogeroc said:

So you just enjoy the company of men, not women then? Seems to be common in CM now, a lot of 'blokey bars'

 

Sure in some places a lady will pay her own way for eating / drinking out but in most places in the world the man pays.

 

Relax a little a lot of theses ladies in Chiang Mai really appreciate a drink to help with their income and many are very pleasant, polite and have good wit. Who knows, they could even become a friend to you (heaven forbid!)

 

 

 

 

   I was referring to when you go out to a bar WITH someone . not too when you go to a bar on your own and pay someone to have a drink with you

    I would be quite happy to take a lady out for a meal/drink , but I would feel uncomfortable if the lady was on the restaurant menu 

     I have no desire to make friends with any bargirls in CM , as I live among them and see and know what they are really like, when they are not working

   I have no desire to have any prostitutes as friends

Its embarrassing to have prostitutes as so called friends

You lower yourself to the "desperate" category

 

 

 

[jeab1980]

Just now, sanemax said:

 

   I was referring to when you go out to a bar WITH someone . not too when you go to a bar on your own and pay someone to have a drink with you

    I would be quite happy to take a lady out for a meal/drink , but I would feel uncomfortable if the lady was on the restaurant menu 

     I have no desire to make friends with any bargirls in CM , as I live among them and see and know what they are really like, when they are not working

   I have no desire to have any prostitutes as friends

Its embarrassing to have prostitutes as so called friends

You lower yourself to the "desperate" category

 

 

 

Oh very Hiso attitude tell me how do younknow some of your female friends aren't  prostitutes. 

So glad i will never meet you with an attitude like yours

[luk AJ]

 
   I was referring to when you go out to a bar WITH someone . not too when you go to a bar on your own and pay someone to have a drink with you
    I would be quite happy to take a lady out for a meal/drink , but I would feel uncomfortable if the lady was on the restaurant menu 
     I have no desire to make friends with any bargirls in CM , as I live among them and see and know what they are really like, when they are not working
   I have no desire to have any prostitutes as friends
Its embarrassing to have prostitutes as so called friends
You lower yourself to the "desperate" category
 
 
 

Really? So... in which category do you belong?


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[rogeroc]

8 minutes ago, sanemax said:

 

   I was referring to when you go out to a bar WITH someone . not too when you go to a bar on your own and pay someone to have a drink with you

    I would be quite happy to take a lady out for a meal/drink , but I would feel uncomfortable if the lady was on the restaurant menu 

     I have no desire to make friends with any bargirls in CM , as I live among them and see and know what they are really like, when they are not working

   I have no desire to have any prostitutes as friends

Its embarrassing to have prostitutes as so called friends

You lower yourself to the "desperate" category

 

 

 

If you met a girl Online in Thailand and you took her for dinner that would be ok then? Of course there would be a high possibility she had previously worked in a bar, but you would never know it!  Can you please tell me how prostitutes differ from other women when they are not working. I am intrigued

[evenstevens]

5 minutes ago, sanemax said:

 

   I was referring to when you go out to a bar WITH someone . not too when you go to a bar on your own and pay someone to have a drink with you

    I would be quite happy to take a lady out for a meal/drink , but I would feel uncomfortable if the lady was on the restaurant menu 

     I have no desire to make friends with any bargirls in CM , as I live among them and see and know what they are really like, when they are not working

   I have no desire to have any prostitutes as friends

Its embarrassing to have prostitutes as so called friends

You lower yourself to the "desperate" category

 

 

 

you don,t really know what u are missing out on, have  had some of my  best times ,with hookers

 

What  a  Fun Dud evening to all

[rogeroc]

2 minutes ago, evenstevens said:

you don,t really know what u are missing out on, have  had some of my  best times ,with hookers

 

What  a  Fun Dud evening to all

I think a number of guys just cannot except the idea of paying a lady for either her talking to you or beyond that for R and R. Ok  there will always be scammers and players just in for a quick baht but in general all of us prefer to perform a service if we are being financially rewarded for it. A lot of the ladies are very grateful for being brought a drink and show it. Many women are strongly motivated by being provided for.

[nasanews]

53 minutes ago, opalred said:

lesson i learnt very early after 14yrs here 

if you go to eat /no prices when ordering 

walk out 

in bars pay as you drink 

i always do anywhere in world

don't have do a build up bill

that is stupid asking for trouble 

cheers

Pay as you drink are in some bars that bring your printed bill with your drink if they don't run a tab, but in common bars like here in Thailand you don't need to pay for every drink you order because it is simple, look at the bills in the bin as you order more, rather than being paranoid as you pay for every drink especially if you are planning to have more than one drink.

[CG1 Blue]

7 hours ago, csabo said:

I was playing jackpot with a girl and said "If you win, I'll buy you a drink.  If I win you buy me one." She said ok and we played a few rounds.  She was doing well and had won 4 drinks before I finally won one.  Instead of paying up quickly she went on for 10 minutes how she "was working there for money for her kids and could not afford to buy me a drink yadayadayada."  She finally ordered my drink and when it arrived I downed it I got up mid -sad song and walked over to the next bar and found a new jackpot partner.  I don't mind paying for some entertainment and company but leave the sad song at home with your bad life choices.

Strangely enough a similar thing happened in NY bar.  A waitress challenged me to game of Knockem Sockem Robots for a drink to the winner.  We played, I won.  I said "I'll have a Jack neat."  Her reply "I don't make a lot of money, that's an expensive drink.'  My reply "I'll have a Jack neat."  

I don't understand why you would want the girl to buy you a drink.  I've been in that same scenario many times, and if I win a game I say forget about buying me a drink.  

What that girl takes a week to earn, to pay her rent, eat, send to family etc., I probably have more than that in my pocket for one night's boozing.  Why would I want her to spend money on me?

They're providing you with a bit of fun and banter, and you're enjoying their company presumably. So why would you take half of their night's wages from them?

Don't get me wrong, I choose my company carefully and don't just throw money around. But come on...

[rogeroc]

20 minutes ago, CG1 Blue said:

I don't understand why you would want the girl to buy you a drink.  I've been in that same scenario many times, and if I win a game I say forget about buying me a drink.  

What that girl takes a week to earn, to pay her rent, eat, send to family etc., I probably have more than that in my pocket for one night's boozing.  Why would I want her to spend money on me?

They're providing you with a bit of fun and banter, and you're enjoying their company presumably. So why would you take half of their night's wages from them?

Don't get me wrong, I choose my company carefully and don't just throw money around. But come on...

Yes i always thought that despite what they said that if they win you buy them a drink and if you win you also buy them a drink !!

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, rogeroc said:

I Can you please tell me how prostitutes differ from other women when they are not working. I am intrigued

I certainly can

Bargirls, off duty , sit back and laugh at lonely felangs

Pathetic guys who cannot form relationships in their home Country

Go to Asia and pay third world prostitutes to like them

Normal Thais view prostitutes with contempt

Stupid felangs walking around, holding hands with them

 

[Johpa]

13 hours ago, elektrified said:

In 31 years of visiting/living in Thailand, I think I've bought three "lady drinks". What a waste of money.

Sorry to hear you have little ability to judge the ladies. It has been some 30 years since I frequented such establishments, and although not every bar drink purchased was worth much, countless lady drinks purchased were well worth the price, usually just for the conversation alone. But perhaps the likes of the Karen Hut bar are long gone.

 

By the way, I also declined just as often as I bought a drink for someone.  You can always just say "no thanks".

[sanemax]

23 minutes ago, Johpa said:

countless lady drinks purchased were well worth the price, usually just for the conversation alone.

What did these conversations consist off ?

"Hes a playboy and he boom booms my friend "

"Buy me a drink"

"Play pool. I win, you buy me a drink,  I lose I buy you  drink 

Wanna play connect 4 ?

[rogeroc]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

I certainly can

Bargirls, off duty , sit back and laugh at lonely felangs

Pathetic guys who cannot form relationships in their home Country

Go to Asia and pay third world prostitutes to like them

Normal Thais view prostitutes with contempt

Stupid felangs walking around, holding hands with them

 

Wow mut be smart girls then, talk exactly like western guys ! Or maybe you just meant they sit back and laugh at people like me and the rest is just a bigoted invented rant of  your own.

[sanemax]

Would anyone in their home Country , go to a prostitute bar, pay a girl to sit with them , and then say "Shes really nice, I think that she likes me"

    She likes me, so I will pay for her and her children and we will all live happily ever after

[rogeroc]

16 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Would anyone in their home Country , go to a prostitute bar, pay a girl to sit with them , and then say "Shes really nice, I think that she likes me"

    She likes me, so I will pay for her and her children and we will all live happily ever after

I doubt it and i suspect the dynamics are very different but i cannot say as i have never tried. I am actually in Bulgaria at the moment, one of the cheapest countries in Europe with general cost of living, accomodation, food and drink cheaper than Thailand. In a girly bar there though you would be paying 500 baht for your own dring and 1500 baht for her drink and company for 30 mins but guys still pay it.

 

I do believe that in Thailand a lot of the girls working in bars are genuinely looking for a longer term relationship. I guess that may not be the case in the West!

[sanemax]

10 minutes ago, rogeroc said:

 

 

I do believe that in Thailand a lot of the girls working in bars are genuinely looking for a longer term relationship. I guess that may not be the case in the West!

I disagree with that

Every bargirl that I  know .and I know many of them

Has no concerns abort the/any future

  "Give me a beer and something to eat" and they condenser them selves to be untouchable

   Some Western sucker buys her food and drink for the night , top of the World,

nothing more to worry about

[Johpa]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

What did these conversations consist off ?

"Hes a playboy and he boom booms my friend "

"Buy me a drink"

"Play pool. I win, you buy me a drink,  I lose I buy you  drink 

Wanna play connect 4 ?

 

Sorry to infer that you have as little ability to judge the ladies as did that first poster I responded to.

[pumpjack]

i only ever buy lady drink when i want boom boom off same lady.

[Ulic]

Never buy a girl a drink unless you find here interesting in some way. Whether

conversationally or a prospective bar-fine. Also I limit it to one drink telling them

I will also give them a tip at the end (100 baht) the equivalent of commission on

another two lady drinks.  I also tell them if they have a regular customer come in

to leave and go to him. Money is money if I am only out for a little socializing.

On principle I do not buy any drinks for girls who are drink sluts. (Very beautiful

but not bar finable) All that said to each his own. There are many two week

millionaires who splash the cash 10k a night, and others who simply refuse to buy

lady drinks. Spend you money as you see fit.

[observer90210]

I very very rarely have had my willy serviced by a bargirl in Thailand!..

 

But...but I have often taken out 1 or 2 bar girls (that don't dress to bargirlish) to normal dance clubs, and made sure they treated me like James Bond on the dance floor........... Then, under phase II of this diabolic plan, having 2 girls on my side gave me a blank check to approach the (non working or perhaps off-duty) Thai or farang lady of my choice in the club (female dynamics guys)....as quite a few started to hang around and send the usual seductive looks or eye-catches!!

To remain decent, I'll skip the details on what happened before and after sunrise!!...all for free (or perhaps a drink or two at the regular dance club price and obviously the price for initially hiring the other bar girlie-s as wing support) ...and this worked I'd say 7 times in 10!

Tried the same plan either alone or with pals..and  the success ratio was far from above!!...(female dynamics once again, guys!)

 

Up to you now fellas....give it a try....nothing to do with your looks or cash...mostly a matter of efficient marketing!

 

[rogeroc]

 

missed previous Post, my question already answered

[rogeroc]

12 hours ago, sanemax said:

As one of the so called Ladies. has pushed a Son out for me and that I know many of them quite well

    I do know them well enough to judge them 

They are just lazy people  who would rather get ******,than get proper job

 

 

It sounds like you are understandably bitter but you cannot 'tar all with the same brush'

[Kadilo]

So,i like drinking in bars and inevitably some of those bars will be girly bars.
I'm a fairly generous bloke,maybe a bit of a pushover and certainly can have a lack of judgement when the beers are necked.
This all leads to regular nights out where i have a bar bill for 3000 baht and i think to myself "I've only had 6 Leo's? How did this happen?":shock1:
 
I've discussed this with a friend who travels to Thailand regularly and he says if I buy a girl a drink,I should ask for 'bar price'.
Is this accepted? Seems to me the girl would pretty pissed off if shes not making any money from the drink.
This same guy told me when he stayed in Chiang Mai for 3 months he would have a bottle of whiskey he bought from 7-11 kept behind the bar.So he'd go and drink from that every night.
I don't know if this is actually true and i would imagine he'd be extremely unpopular with the bar owner and staff.
 
I've also noticed some ex-pats that live in Chiang Mai and are regulars in some of the bars i frequent rarely buy the girls a drink(understandable,as it would be a severe drain on resources to do so if you're out drinking almost every night)
I suppose ex-pats have to watch the purse strings more because they are living a 'normal' day to day life in Thailand,whereas holidaymakers like myself are there for a good time and blowing a load of money every night is almost expected.
 
So,what is the best way of approaching the 'lady drink' situation without offending anyone or looking like a cheapskate?
I was thinking perhaps i could make it clear in the bars that i would buy no more than 1 lady drink for each bar i visit(sometimes i'll spend the whole night in 1 bar so would be a fairly cheap night  ) 
Buying just 1 lady drink in each bar i would be saving quite a lot of money compared to my last trip.
 
On a side note,the first time i went to Chiang Mai i had no idea the 'lady drink' was a thing.I thought i was buying as drink for a girl to be sociable,as i would in the UK.(i really should have researched Thai culture a little more before arriving )
It was only when i got home and did a little internet research that i discovered the concept of the 'Lady Drink'
No wonder i spent £2000 in  3 weeks 
 

You've spent little over 60 quid for a night out so hardly getting ripped off.
The rules are there are no rules, that's the beauty of Thailand. Listen to yourself and what you want to do not some moralistic cheap Charlie's who have their own opinionated view of bar girls because likely they have been shafted. Do what makes you happy.
If you feel you are being ripped off then and taken advantage of then have a plan and stick to it. If you want company and are willing to pay for that in terms of lady drinks then go for that.
Don't be swayed by the opinion of judgemental people who are probably stuck in boring loveless marriages wishing they could have the choice you have.
It's your money, enjoy it in whatever way you want.


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